Should I feel bad or is she just nuts?

I just recently broke up with my ex a second time after a few month hiatus. The first one I kinda understand cuz I was freaking out about college and what was going to happen while I was gone. The reason was that I didn't trust her enough, but I tried explaining how it was the guys she was with that I didn't trust. She was kinda flirtatious but also very affectionate and seclusive to me, which was awesome for going out to parties. We would just go out and talk with the people we know well and I would introduce her to some guys I knew, but they always had a habit of thinking I wanted to share her sexual-wise. I trusted her with all my heart that she would never do anything, but I didn't agree with her when guys would start hitting on her and trying to force her into doing shit with them and she would still talk to them after a few times of saying no. But, she never believed me that I was upset because I thought they were disrespecting her. Finally it actually turned into jealousy, when I started to wonder what would happen if I'm not around for a few weeks. After about a week of that we broke up, but still talked for the next few months. She dated a few guys for no more then a couple weeks tops, while she knew about my "college experiences". Then, I heard she was hanging out with this guy that repeatedly tried to force sex upon her and I had to stop one occasion when she continually said she did not want anything to do with him. No more talking for a few months, and then she's calling me asking to get back together. I say no for awhile not believing that she can make the changes I hoped she could for it to work. Finally we work things out and date for the last 4 months with no problem what so ever. I didn't really want to hear about what she had done with guys while we didn't talk, but she wanted to know about my women. She tells me about the THREE guys she had only kissed, nothing more and nobody I knew. I tell her about the few nights that happened while we didn't talk told her I had been tested and came out clean about 3 weeks before we started talking again and didnt have anything more than tongue action in that time. I was very good friends with her older sister, and in return knew most of her friends. A sister of one of our friends went to the same school and lived not to far away and we became very good friends. I live about 20 minutes from my ex and these other people but still knew before becoming friends that this girl down at college had been passed around a very large town. I took me hours of explaining why I didn't have sex with this girl, and with all respect she was right to question me. If it was my ex spending as much time with her instead of me I would have thought it was garuanteed they fooled around. About two months of being perfect on this trust thing, and one o my friends that had never hit on her before starts hinting at how bad he wants to get with her and even says it to me(i tell her about it of course...communication is key right?), I find out that she forgot to mention that she was making out with him. I shrugged it off the best I could, which included never being alone around him, having my best friend around if I was to see him that night, and being very close to her when he was around(kinda rare). Then suddenly out of the blue after everything is perfect for a few months, my now ex says she can't talk to me anymore because I think she is a slut. I was shocked and even disgusted that she would think that. I spend the night trying to fix everything, and she yells at me to go have sex with my college friend because all I want is a slut. I become offended, and as embarassing as it is, I even cried as I just walked away from her and went home. She calls me the next night to have dinner and talk things over. Everything goes great and she says she was stressing out really bad and couldn't even explain how everything happened. Then two nights later I'm talking to her after work and she says she wants to do something, but after she goes to see her friends. So, I go up to the park with some buddies and get high to pass the time and we throw the light up friz. 2 hours go by and it gets to the time she asked me to call her at, so I call her up and she says it will be another 10 minutes and that she's just saying goodbyes and to call her again and she'll come out. Once again...same response, then again...I stay calm, then again...and I tell her if she isn't at my house in 15 minutes then to forget about it and I'm going out to see my friends. She gets to my house at exactly 15 minutes after and I'm just heading out the door for my buddies house. She freaks out on me and tells me I don't let her hang out with her friends and I'm too needy for calling her every 10 minutes. I'm about pulling the hair out of my head and wondering why she asked me to do this and then using it to break up. Since then she has said that she is still incredibly in love with me, but since I was kinda harsh on her before taking her back after our 3 month hiatus, her parents said she isn't allowed to talk to me. Since she has said that, she has told me never to talk to her again, but the next day will message me to call her at night, and the same thing happens. I now have not talked to her for 4 days and the first two days I left for a friends cabin with no possibility of any contact. I still cant help but wonder what I did wrong cuz she says everything is the same as it used to be.

By the way...we both agreed that it was the most amazing sex ever. Had the freedom to do it whenever and wherever, partially because I don't have as high of a sex drive as most men, but it lasted the whole night.

 

Stay mile's Away from her. Sounds like she's dosn't know what she wants.

 

oi, I'm sorry, I can't make it through all that without it being seperated into paragraphs

 

Sounds like she likes having that power over you and is playing mindgames with you. Seriously, I'd move on. You don't need the rollercoster ride.

 

She keeps telling me that she wants me as a friend and it's soo hard for me to say no when people want to talk to me. I've experienced a ton of scary things and it's just easy for me to relate with problems people have. Also when she was under no stress at all she was the most amazing person, and I had problems of blaming bad things that happened to me on family until I got out of college and me and her family see this same thing happening to her ever since we stopped talking the first time. So like it's hard for me not to forgive and forget about the past, especially when I've been through it.

 

Yeah if you can handle being her friend then by all means do so, but I'd give yourself some time without contact with her so you can get over her romanticly before you try just being friends otherwise it'll just end up hurting you even moreso.

 

You don't trust her and for good reason. If someone tried to force himself on me and my boyfriend had to stop the situation, dude, I wouldn't sit around and continue to converse with the guy like nothing happened. That is called being fucked up in the head and liking the attention. Then there are details that she left out telling you such as making out with guys who again are supposed to be your friend. And as far as that is concerned, why the fuck are you friends with a bunch of 1) wanna be rapists and 2) guys who are trying to fuck your girlfriend when you are there or not there. They don't sound like people I would consider friends.

Look, what you need to do, for your own good, is go back to school and stay away from this girl. Or move far away. Be her friend and support via email or IM or something. Because it would appear that when you are around her you can't help but want more from her than a friendship, whether the sex is good or not. And trust me she needs more professional help than a friendship. As a friend you should suggest to her seeking out a psychologist to see why she has these issues with men and why she can't figure out what the hell she wants.

Just what I read into it. And it would be a lot easier to understand had you broken it down into paragraphs.

 

Get away from her. FAST!

She is unstable and you may wind up on the wrong end of a rape accusation before it's said and done.

GET!

 

The same advice as was given to me earlier in this forum and a similar situation, and maybe you'll be able to take it to heart easier than I have so far. She is on a power trip over you, maybe she is nuts, maybe she is really nice but has had something happen to her b4 that makes her need to have this sorta power over people, but maybe she is just likes it.

 

Haven't been on here for awhile with being busy with my friends birthday on the 4th and getting shit together for that...before I get to why I should have been on here about 28 hours ago, I'll adress something right quick.
The guys that were hitting on her at these parties were not friends of mine.

Some were guys at parties of people I knew that I knew their names and that they were piece of shit womanizers, but I never wanted to be the type of person to tell anybody what to do. I just can't bring myself to control who she talks to and how, so she can make her own mistakes and if she doesn't do anything then she truly is faithful and I had no part in it so it seems more honest to me.

Some were guys that she claimed to be good friends with that would show up at her house for parties. These guys I would say something to when she would go to talk to her girlfriends for a bit, and they would stop talking to her cuz they were kinda drunk and would start appologizing to me for hittin on her. I would tell them not to appologize and it's all fine but I just don't want her to feel disrespected or think less of you if you trying doing something and she doesnt want to. Those guys would end up drinking with me the rest of the night, and we would never talk about her again even if they brought her up I would tell them let's party. She seemed kinda pissed a few times when I became very good friends very fast with a few kids she told me were very seclusive, and wouldnt let me see her when she would stop by to hang out with them quick before she came to my house.

Anyways.....
My night of june 3rd began with asking a random guy to buy me beer and when he said yes i knew already that the night was starting out great. I had not talked to the ex in a few days (despite her calling me), but that night for some reason I decided to answer. We were getting ready to go party at a kids house we had been to many times before only this time there were hardly anybody there (only the few guys and girls i'm really tight with and would never hit on my ex, they actually were pissed when she showed up but didn't say anything cuz they thought i was fine with it). Well she calls me a few times, while im trying to get wasted, saying how her night had been kinda bad and that she just wants to come out and see me and I tell her to hurry up cuz we're leavin in 10, and she tells me she wont be out for an hour or two cuz she's going to talk to her mom. Well I was kinda upset that she would call me to talk about this crap when she was going to talk to her mom and was being a bitch to me (even told her that a few days prior). So I tell her to just call me later before she comes out cuz i'll be kinda drunk and i'll let her know if it's still alright to come out. (incase i got drunk goggles with some other girl...i don't want her seeing that no matter what our situation is)

1hr. 45min. (13 beers...i told her i was getting drunk) later

So she calls saying she's coming out and I'm wasted and having soo much fun not talking to her and I tell her maybe it's not a good idea and hang up. She calls back yelling at me for hanging up on her and says she's coming out and to tell her where he lives. I tell her not now and hang up again. I'm trying to drink a beer and smoke a cig and talk to this girl I hadn't seen for almost a year (really hot too). She calls again sounding pissed and says she's already on her way and that I have to tell her where to go. Well this house is right by the birthday boys house we were at earlier, and she knows how to get there, so I tell her to just go to his house and i'll meet her there. I see her drive by and go to the other kids house, and she calls but I dont answer the first time cuz I was hoping she'd just go home, then me and my buddy realize that his dad is home and would get pissed if she went up to the door. I call her and make up a story about how my phone fell out when i jumped off the deck and didn't realize it til i came out after grabbing a beer and heard the missed call beep. I tell her where we are and to just come up, and she has the nerve to say that there better be other people there. Tells me she doesn't want to talk to me but she came so we could try hanging out again????
So...I don't say anything to her and I'm talk to my friends the whole time. Nobody says anything to her the whole time until my bday buddy starts talking to her to not have her feel awkward and yell at me, and I guess she starts complaining to him about how I'm not talking to her. He tells her how I said that if she doesn't want me talking to her then she can be the first to say hi if she has something nice to say, otherwise i'm just going to respect what she asked and not say a word.

I have a few more beers and haven't even looked at her yet cuz i've been so engaged in a few conversations, but I start to wonder what she looks like. I look at her and she's staring at me while talking to my pal and as I turn back around, in the matter of a few seconds, she freaks out and asks why i can't even say hi. I tell her it's cuz she's in the middle of a conversation and I don't want to talk to her if she doesn't want me to. Then a lot more yelling and then i got pissed brought her to her car and yelled at her for awhile and said some awful things i don't even mean, but i know it's something that would make a girl stop talking to you.

I go back and tell my best friend there about what I said and how hard it was to do that and feel soo shity about it. He tells me not to care cuz she stopped to bitch at me in the middle of a conversation with him. She calls continually throughout the night. Sometimes trying to be nice sometimes being a bitch (in that case i hung up), but i would only answer one of like 5 calls.


I just had to let it out man...It's so hard to stop my love for who she once was. She was soo amazing nobody even knows and it actually hurts me now to remember it, but I'm now glad that last night happened (even though i feel bad it happened on my buddies bday, but he seemed to be fine) because now I know who she really is.

 

drama's ridiculous
just cut n run

 

block her phone number. that way you won't even know if she calls, and won't have to talk to her.

 

yeah, I'd stay away from this one. It is hard, but you will figure out a way.

 

Man...I just don't get why she would say that she doesn't want me talking to her, and then get all pissed when I let her be. She said she came out cuz she wanted to see if we could be friends, but the reason why I stopped talking to her the last few times was because she said the only way she would see me again is if she wanted to get back together and that she never wants to see me. Then she calls saying she wants to talk, and talks to me as if nothing was ever wrong. Speaking of she calls me today, but I don't plan on talking to her til I feel I can believe something she says.

 

Snoochie I feel almost the same with my wife.
She wanted to be with me, wanted to marry me, wanted to go out and party with people who she knew were physically threatening me and telling me that she was fucking them. She told me she didn't want to lose me but wouldn't and to some point still won't talk with me. She would let me know it was none of her business what she did and cussed me out for asking. Then she calls me for help, but won't return the help that I desperately need to get by. I call her, and she will talk one minute all cool, then say call me back in a few and not pick up when I call her back, or will cuss me out for calling her back. It hurts and that pain will grow if you dwell on it.
As for the waiting for feeling you can believe in something she says - I hear you there. There have been many times when I have doubted what my wife told me, and it all made sense to doubt her because everything added up. I have come to realise that maybe my doubt was caused partly by my paranoia added on to what people were telling me about her. It has been a hard journey with my wife and it is a journey that I hope and pray I have not completely fucked up through my mistrust, but maybe to get faith you have to give faith.

 

I'm freaking out man....(havent even smoked for 3 weeks, i feel it helps to do things differently after a break up for awhile) This is seriously the freakiest thing ever.

Starts with me making plans to hang out with the ex's sister well later tonight cuz she wont be there at all. Good friend that moved over by me calls me up telling me he's got the best bud since the stuff i got on 420 and that i have to smoke with him tomorrow cuz im definately over this girl, which i am cuz i've not thought about her one bit. That is the thing that has kinda freaked me out tonight though.

So I'm watching the movie Road To Perdition (highly recomended), which is one of my favorite movies of all time even though it makes me cry constantly. I'm balling my eyes out and naturally it's harder to see things. Well it's been only 4 nights since i talked to her last (and i was a prick and hate myself for doing it but it had to be done) and she calls me tonight asking what I'm doing and appologizing about stuff, and she hates to hear about sad things cuz it makes her cry. So, I start telling her about the movie, she asks me to stop but why should I, and she actually continues to listen and starts asking me why those parts are soo sad when i've seen the movie about 20 times. Than starts asking what I'm doing tomorrow and I go into conversation....anything to stop me from crying for a bit...and she tells me that she's working then going to her friends for a movie night and she's supposed to spend the night there but might go home after to see a few people that are stopping by for her sister's party. She still has no idea that I was planning on/told to be going there.

Didn't even realize this until i was just talking to her sister, and she asks me how long it's been since the last time I watched the movie, but the last time I saw it was two nights before I hung out with my ex for the first time and she called me that night too to plan something. My birthday was the next day, so I had to go out with the guys, but the next night we ended up hooking up.

This freaks me out cuz I woke up cuddling with my pillow, and when I stop smoking pot I never remember my dreams, and there has been no other girl since in my life. And the last time I was freaked out like this I had a dream about her two nights before I was supposed to go to this party and meet up with my buddy a week after we broke up. In the dream we went to a specific house I hadn't been to before, she showed up before to meet us before we went out, the friend that said he was coming with me wasnt there, i ran into a comletely random person i would never dream about, another friend called me asking if i was with her because she told him she wanted me back earlier in the day, she walks up and tells me she wants to talk and we end up hooking up.

The next day my buddy I'm meeting up with tells me that the party we were going to is canceled cuz there is a huge kegger at the kids house i dreamed about. I call the friend that was supposed to come with to see when he wanted to leave tomorrow and right away he asks to do something that night when i got home cuz he wouldnt be able to go. the girl calls me asking what im doing the next day and i say i dont know cuz im freaking out, and she asks me to go down to the u but when i ask if she's going to that party she says no so i say im not coming home. I'm kinda freaking out by this point cuz of what the other two kids say so I go and get high. Then my other friend calls me and he's high too (might have been 420) but he tells me that he has to tell me something about the girl. I freak out and I'm like I can't hear this today man I'm freaking out and say that i have to stop smoking (I don't though couldnt handle the irony clean). The next day sure enough everything pans out up to her wanting to talk. I'm wasted and just tripping out on this whole concept and I tell her I can't cuz it's a party.

Please send your love that I don't have another dream to real life trip cuz I have no idea what I dreamt and I don't want to know. I'm praying she stays at her friends. Just had to get this whole thing out cuz I'm seriously freaking out...like this shit gave me bad paranoia for a few days after about everything that happened in my dreams.

 

Run!