20-year-old female..no interest in sex...

I have been in a very healthy relationship for about a year and a half now. We share an apartment, and we're both in our early twenties. We don't fight often, and we compliment each other and appreciate each other.

My problem is: I have zero interest in sex. When we got together, I would want to have sex once or twice a day...now we have sex once or twice a month. I know it bothers him, and I really want to make him happy, but I just lack overall interest COMPLETELY. I have zero interest. Nadda. Nothing. I never get horny.

Before I got with him, I was very active and I used a vibrator every night. Now, nothing. I have no desire.

I'm only 20 years old...so this just seems very unnatural!

I'm on birth control, but I've been on this birth control for years. I just don't know WHAT it could be

Sorry, I posted this in relationships, too. I just didn't know which forum it was more appropriate for.

 

You did fine posting it here..

Anyway... I had an ex who had the same thing as you, one day we were having sex like rabbits then for like 4 months .... NOTHING... it got so bad, I walked out one day and told her Im going to go fuck someone...

THAT got her attention she ran out crying and asked what she was supposed to do, I told her I didnt care, I needed mine, and if she wasn't going to help my needs, why should I care about hers??

After I calmed down, and realized it bothered her as much as it did me, I asked her how it happened she said she didnt know, she scheduled a meeting with her doctor, and he sent her to another doctor (sex specialist and endocronologist if I remember right) and he said her hormone level had changed drastically...

Let me tell you... I was SOOOO Happy... even though the relationship did end after about another year, it wasnt because we werent having sex anymore...

Once sha changed the birth control she was on, I didnt have to ask her for sex, she would all of a sudden grab me and I knew what she wanted...

I LOVED it.. go see your GP doc, and they can reccomend someone for you.. I would guess it is along the same lines, bodies change, and you are still very young, the same thing could be happening top you, it could be as simple as changing what birth control you are on...

Good luck!

 

Thanks! I've suspected the BC for a while now, but I don't have health insurance :-/

 

Well I don't know what your current situation is, but if you are at school, or going to school full time you can be either on your parents, or the schools medical program.

THen you tell them you are having mood swings and changes which you dont like, and then when you get to the doctor, you can tell him all the really personal things, that you dont want your parents or lover to know....

Good luck..

 

BC alone should not do that, especially if you were on it for years up until now -- odds are that your body's natural hormone levels changed and that affected the way BC interacts with your body. However, going off it might not change anything ... talk to your doctor.

PS: Mechanic, your post makes you sound kinda like a jerk.

 

To be honest, I think it was that I wasn't sexually attracted to him.

Past tense because relationship status changes things.

Sex drive is no longer an element.

 

it is very common for women to lose interest in sex while in a relationship... happened to me all the time.

for me, it was because the newness of it all had worn off and I had started to realized that it was the newness that was turning me on.... that the guys had NO SKILLS.

Answer yourself honestly... don't feel you have to answer publicly... but does your man really know how to excite you?

 

That's exactly it. He doesn't know how to excite me at all. However, it's so hard to tell someone something like that.

"Oh, you just don't do it for me."

 

It is hard to say something like that. But there are ways of doing so that aren't insulting, or at least, as insulting.

Try saying, "you know, i really like it when you kiss me like this".. then kiss him the way you like to be kissed. Or "It really makes me hot when you touch me like this" then touch yourself and/or him the way you like to be touched. Mention that you really like it when he does this, or that... positive reinforcement usually works.

 

Does he not "do it" in bed? or is it the little things (flowers for no reason) that he doesn't do?

(No don't tell me, tell him)

 

Hello guys, you know some people are naturally asexual. Check out AVEN's website if you want to learn more about it. Is being nonsexual bothering you? Or is it just your relationship with someone who is highly sexual? If no health cause is found you option is to lie back and think of England, or enter a relationship with someone whose secual level is compatable with yours.