help- boyfriend is hard to get off..

Okay so lemme just say that my boyfriend and i have a VERY open sexual relationship. we have great passionate sex practically every day.
well i know he likes when i give him head, but its REALLY hard to get him off that way.. like nearly impossible.

In fact, he's never gotten off from head. we've been together a year and i have never gotten him off that way.. and i really want to! see, he gets me off all the time. he LOVES going down on me. hes very very good at it; in fact, i never even liked oral sex at all until he came along. he had never given oral before me, and he got me off the FIRST time ever! i was shocked.

so i want to return the favor, ya know? could it be that he is just not sensitive enough? when we have sex, he always cums every time. ive given him head to the point where he is soooo close, but just cant do it all the way.

i just dont know what to do
has this happened to anyone else?
another thing i guess i should mention is that i dont specifically LOVE giving head. ill do it, but its not my favorite thing. i think i stop too frequently or soemthing.. ahhhhh i dont know. *confused*

 

I have that problem too, i dont get off very easily from head. Another thing might be is that he is having sex with you everyday! Lucky bastard!

 

Ever heard of/ experienced a 'Sixth' Sense?
That could be one reason.

Another could be if you're slowing down/ hesitating
at just the wrong moment.


Sometimes it's difficult to do things well if you're not into them...

 

Get him stoned than give him head. Pot+Sex=Too good for words.

I'm a virgin, but getting horny while stoned is enough to let me know how good accual sexual interaction would be while high.

 

haha.. i live in the marijuana capital of america, trust me, we get stoned ALOT
it's not that he's not horny. when i give him head, he has a great time and gets REALLY horny, but just wants to fuck to get off because its hard for him to get off from head.

andrs, no, whats a "sixth" sense? elaborate please?

and i agree about the whole "hard to do things well if you're not into them". its just that when i'm doing it, i DO get into it, i just feel discouraged when i havent gotten him off after doing it for a while.

in my past relationships i always got compliments on my head-giving skills and always got guys off easily, so i guess im just confused as to what i'm doing wrong/not doing.

 

im the exact same way, its really hard for me to get off during sex and i always wanna fuck to finish it off, cumming in a vagina is more pleasurable anyways. you shouldn't worry about it sara(h?) some guys just werent meant to be pleasured with the mouth.

btw im gonna have to ask you for a copy of our rap offs

 

ahhh thanks charles that makes me feel a bit better.
that's how he is too! and plus i think he likes getting ME off more, anyway. hey, im not complaining

 

i can relate pink. My boyfriend takes forever to come from oral. and it sucks cuz i dont really want a dick in my mouth for an half an hour so we usually just end up having sex.

 

Heheh. Word to that. after a while my jaw kinda hurts, ya know?

 

some good advice here. oh trust me, we've talked about it alot. what you said about the friction really strikes a chord... and the control... he loves fucking me hard, so i think oral is just too "soft" or something. he said he likes when i suck on the tip and not use my hands (lol funny that sounds opposite of you) so i tried that alot but still nothing. hmmm.. i could try the humming thing. i think hed like that.

 

Learn the art of ball handling. And I think I'll include the technique I'm gonna call inches, if you can't figure it out, let me know. I'll try to explain. Turn it into a game.

 

Maybe you could try licking his butt hole

 

Pink floyd. My deepest condolences to your lack of a satisfactory sex life, my apologies if you beg to differ.

One of the main reasons why a guy can not "get off" is because their lack of sexual experience. When I was younger (I am now 21), I never could have an orgasm while getting head. However, you are in luck my dear. After achieving my first orgasm while getting head, which I must say took quite a bit of coaching, I had problems NOT being able to keep from having an orgasm too early while getting head. Having an orgasm has to do a lot with your mind. I'm sure you heard of people having orgasm's without touching their genitals, like the guy from American Pie? Your boyfriend is just in the current stage where he stops himself from achieving the euphoria you intend for him. Or you can do what my ex did to get me to orgasm for the first time. When your boyfriend walks in the door to see you, don't say a word. Pin him to the wall and take off his pants. Get on your knees, look up at him in your sexiest look that appeals to his liking, and tell him you want him to cum in your mouth. Then proceed to fellatio, or as my inferior friend would put it, "suck it like your momma don't want you to". Oh yeah, if all fails, you might just suck at sucking.

 

Try 69 (it's divine).

Seriously, if he really enjoys giving oral it could add to the sensation and help with the ... discharge. Oh yeah, and talk dirty to him now and again.

If all that fails, break up with him and come live with me instead.

 

sound like maybe hes unconfortable getting head.. Strange as it may sound tell him its ok to cum in your mouth (if thats what you want).

I went out with this chick in hs that could suck a mean dick (deepthroat and the works) but I never came from head with her.. We never talked about it much but I was young and stupid and didn't think she wanted me to cum in her mouth. She once sucked for 3 hrs..

I like head but it talks me a long time to get off from it now.. Mostly I think because I need ball lappin and not just the up and down.. And plenty of saliva..

ok time to go masterbate..

 

you have to REALLY get into it. avoid teeth (keep it wet too) but put pressure on him, use your hand like an extension of your mouth, and put it in as much as you can. also, i've heard that taking ice and putting it in your mouth while you're giving head, then taking it out and drinking a bit of water or tea or something (to bring your mouth back to a normal temperature) then doing it again works really well. the sudden warmness can be just enough to push him over the edge

 

How often do you stop? Pace and repeating motion is important.

You mentioned you have sex a lot. How long after he gets off last are you blowing him? Second, third, fourth etc orgasm usually each can take longer than the last.

Also keep in mind that if you're not into blowing him that works against it two fold. One, time spent doing it will seem longer to you if you don't truely enjoy it. Two, if you don't enjoy it you're probably not into it.. and it makes a HUGE difference on the blowjob if the woman is into it or not. Do you ever moan while giving head? Do you get creative? Can he tell you love his cock and love sucking it? ... or do you just look like a bored robot going back and forth with no passion and no desire to be giving head?

How rough is your sex? Lots of lube? Do you give him handjobs? Does he jack off? Too hard with the hand can desensitize the cock. Still dont fall back on this as an excuse to push the problem onto him, as you've already said you're not really into giving head.. that is definately a part of it. Of coarse you don't have to give head, I'm just saying... if you're giving it, give it when you're into it, not when you'd rather be watching CSPAN.

If you want a recipe to get him off via head without looking into the problems you might be having now.. the next time you two are apart for a couple days, makes sure he doesn't masurbate at all. Get him horny over the phone with lots of words about wanting to taste his cock. Again make sure he isn't getting off

Then, when you see him do plenty of foreplay.. kiss all around his body, whisper sexy stuff in his ear, wear an extra sexy outfit. Strip him naked. Dont let him take control and screw you silly, make him lay down on the bed naked. Kiss all around his body.. good spots to kiss and gently lick are inside of the arm opposite the elbow, inside of the wrist, ear lobe, behind the ear (whisper in his ears that you really want to suck him off while kissing/licking with a warm heavy breath), neck, nipples (yes), bottom of his stomach, .. kiss close to his cock and balls without actually touching them. You'll be undressing during this.. but remember you don't have to get completely naked, sometimes a little clothing can be exciting. I do suggest having your breasts out for the next step though, and remember you can use them. Also during this you don't want his hands all over you, dont let him take control of the situation or he might screw it up A little bit of him touching you is ok, but dont hold back to push his hand down on the bed and tell him no in a sexy tone while you keep with the kissing and pleasing.

Now after all this foreplay (and he's probably been squirming).. instead of diving right onto the cock, lick down the shaft, lick the head a little, use your tounge to gently please him.. do this for a bit then gently suck. Suck his head, then suck deeper down the shaft. You don't have to deep throat it, its only important to get down to the sensitive part of the shaft.. on the under-side (lick that when you are using your tongue earlier). Don't do this too long, you want to stop and lick down the underside of the shaft again, now kiss the underside of his cock and with that kissing position move your lips down the underside of his shaft. Now play with his balls, and suck some more, keep the pace, suck a little faster.. still gently, keep with the sucking.. and remember not to squeeze his cock with your hand, if you use your hand on his cock at all be very gentle. Once you get rough the old light sensitive stuff won't work as well, that just how cocks are. You can use your breasts also.. not too rough, but him feeling his cock on your breasts could be a real turn on in between the light sucking and licking. If you're into the sucking and keeping pace stage of the BJ you want to keep at that, gently.. switching up movement, but not pulling out completely to play with his cock on your breasts, that's more for the earlier parts.

Gently massaging his balls with your hands while sucking gently. Give eye contact occasionally throughout all this. Moaning is also very good, because hearing you moan will be a big turn on, and if you kept the getle sensitivity thing going.. the vibrations of your voice will go down his cock and he will be able to feel that. After plenty of licking a building up.. suck a bit faster .. a bit faster, until you're a pace you're comfortable with that you can confortably keep up with.

Now assuming he didn't cum all over you when you started licking his cock in the beginning, he's probably going to be ready to cum after the gently sucking and keeping pace.

Only thing is that you might want a pair of handcuffs handy if he doesnt have the willpower to lay there. If done right this stuff should turn him on, hopefully you'll see him squirm and get a big boost of confidence as to how much pleasure you're brining him. I know it sounds like a lot, but the actualy bj might not have to be that long at all.. should be pretty fast because of all the foreplay turning him into horny frenzy mode.


good luck

 

I had the same problem with my ex girlfriend. It wasn't that she wasn't good at giving head, I was just uncomfortable with cuming in her mouth... So, one day when I was on top of her fucking her hard she asked me to tell her when I was about to come... I told her I was getting close and she told me to cum in her mouth... I was so turned on I pulled out, got ontop of her and she finished me off with her mouth and hands... I love cumming in a girls mouth... After that I never had any problems