My father is on his death bed and i dont care

I know it sounds evil but I lived with him for 14 years of my life with the rest of my family.He was abusive and had no problem telling me how much of a fuck up i was and that I was a mistake and he wished i was never born.He said i was whore and would get knocked up by 16 and that my younger brother would end up in jail.My first memory was of me crying and him telling my mother to shut my brother up before he killed him.I was hit everyday and metaly abused as well.Then he was kicked out of my house and we had a restraining order against him for six months after that he said he wanted nothing to do with meand I said I didnt care about him and it didnt bother me at all.Now due to his diabetes hes slowly dying and my family started making plans for his funeral and I really didnt care or feel bad for him.I dont plan on attending his funeral either and I wont miss him at all.Some people told me to get over it and forgive him but the way I see it is that he had no reason to be that way,he didnt have a drinking problem,and he didnt do drugs he was just an asshole.

 

I know I went to one she told I was "emotionaly disconected" from my father...she to knew him and didnt like him .heh.

 

My father is basically the same way. If I died, I assure you that he would not come to my funeral, or to anyone else's. He refused to walk into the church the day I was married and the day my son was baptized, for no other reason than to simply be mean. He is literally one of the meanest, cruelest people on the face of the earth.

I haven't spoken to him in years, and don't intend to-I've done everything I could to get along with him and treat him the way I would want him to treat me, but he couldn't give a rat's ass. I'm a Christian and don't believe I'm supposed to hate anybody, and I don't-but at the same time I have to be realistic that there are some people that you just can't get along with, and he's one of them. St. Paul said "be at peace with all men in so far as you are able"-well, that's just as far as I am able! My father's never said he's sorry to anybody in his life, and has surrounded himself with people that enjoy his abuse (like my mother) and I am just not one of them.

My father doesn't drink or do drugs either-he just doesn't have any love, humilty or morals, and I wouldn't miss him if he was gone either, I'm sorry to say. Don't kick yourself around about how you feel about him-all relationships are two sided-if he doesn't want to do his part that's his fault, not yours.

 

I wouldn't care if my dad was on his death bed either. In fact, I don't think I would mind "helping" him along and completely foregoing his death bed and just murder his punk ass. He don't give a shit about me, so why should I give a fuck about him?

 

Well to me death shouldnt be something to get terribly sad over anyway. It doesnt seem to me like a particularly sad event. People dont weep unconsolably and fall into months of depression over birth...The only thing that should be mourned after a death is the passing over of a good spirit...the fact that you will miss the persons personality here and now, but if this guy has absolutely nothing that youd miss and didnt create good for you, then its only natural that you wouldnt miss it...

 

Theres nothing wrong with that. You have no feelings for your dad so why would you feel for him when he is dying.

 

hmmmm well its good to know im not the only person who feels this way towards a family member...i thoguht i was just being a major bitch

 

There's nothing wrong with you-you just got unlucky enough to have fucked up parents.I did too,but the feelings will fade the longer the bastards are in the ground.Talking about it will help you get past it.For me,it took several hits of your finer psychedelics, some years later.I don't recommend it tho.28 when I got over the damage.(or did I?)

 

There's nothing wrong with you.. seeing as how he treated you and your family, you don't have to justify your indifference to his situation to anyone. This may sound like a terrible thing to say but when your father passes on, see at as an opportunity to move on and get a new lease of life without anything holding you back anymore..

 

I have pretty much the same story growing up that you have. My father was never involved in anything that when on, and I rarely ever saw him, but when I did, he was being abusive, telling me i'm worthless, an embarassment, etc. And my lazy cow of a mother would just stand there and stick up for him. And now they want to know why I never listen to them, why I never talk to them, why I want to leave as soon as possible, etc. I can see myself in the future without them. I don't want them involved in my life at all. They fucked up the first 18 years of my life, I don't want them fucking up the next 18.

 

I don't blame you. My dad's a dick too, not as bad as yours, but I'd still be better off without him. I'd feel weird if he died, but I don't think I'd miss him.

 

im in a similar situation, my dads been sick on and off with cancer for the past 10 years, but he is not mean to me, and i can never remember him ever being mean to me. i dont really know how to feel when i think about what would happen if he passed away, i would miss him, but i guess i dont really know how to feel about his sickness.

 

think of it this way would he come to your funeral... if he would go to his.. if he wouldnt then fuck him to... but make sure nothing happens such as you dont go and turns out he left you a sorry letter and everything he owned...