"All praise is to Allah, I'll fight any man, any animal, if Jesus were here I'd fight

...him too."

Mike Tyson.

I don't know exactly what it is about the guy, but I fucking love him.

He's turned over a new leaf, he says. Caring for multiple pigeons and reading Russian revolutionary-period literature, the man claims he's changed.



"So, no more swearing, no more bad words."


Yes, a guy who, not long ago, stated:

"Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"

and:

"I'm on the Zoloft to keep me from killing y'all."

Sociopath or not, I truly believe Mike Tyson's probably just a decent guy, deep down. Then again, this is coming from the same person who sympathizes with all sorts of terrible and violent degenerates. Although not a degenerate myself, uh...I think it's important to have empathy for these horrible creatures.

"He was screaming like my wife."

Empathy for a man who talks like a video game villian. Probably because he actually was one.

"My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel is muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm."

What a fantastic man. I'd die to see any press conference with the man the same way I'd dodge work to catch Charles Manson's latest parole hearing. Every time he's up there, he's different. And it's always fantastic.

"One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like a infantile retard."

Fan-fucking-tastic.

If only I could get my hands on the list of shit he bought before declaring bankruptcy.

I don't believe he's an idiot.

I don't believe he's a genius, either. But I think he's uh...a societal necessity who's life and sanity is continually unfolding before our very eyes. What kind of man tattoos his face who isn't in a metal band?

Speaking about his deceased mother:

"I never saw my mother happy with me and proud of me for doing something: She only knew me as being a wild kid running the streets, coming home with new clothes that she knew I didn't pay for. I never got a chance to talk to her or know about her. Professionally, it has no effect, but it's crushing emotionally and personally."

One thing that's so fascinating about a handful of psychotics is that they're completely self-aware. Mike Tyson knows exactly what he's doing. Scaring the shit out of people. I guess just...taking advantage of his reputation, and then feeling guilty about it later.

"At times, I come across as crude or crass. That irritates you when I come across like a Neanderthal or a babbling idiot at times. But I like to be that person. I like to show you all that person because that's who you come to see."

"I'm the most irresponsible person in the world. The reason I'm like that is because, at 21, you all gave me $50 (million) or $100 million, and I didn't know what to do. I'm from the ghetto. I don't know how to act. One day I'm in a dope house robbing somebody. The next thing I know, 'You're the heavyweight champion of the world.' ... Who am I? What am I? I don't even know who I am. I'm just a dumb child. I'm being abused. I'm being robbed by lawyers. I think I have more money than I do. I'm just a dumb pugnacious fool. I'm just a fool who thinks I'm someone. And you tell me I should be responsible?"





"I offend people. I ask this lady (a CNN reporter) a lewd question because I'm in a lot of pain. I have some pain I'm gonna have for the rest of my life. So every now and then I kick your (expletive) ass and stomp on you and ... inflict some of the pain on you because you deserve to feel the pain that I feel. I wish that you guys had children so I could kick them in the (expletive) head or stomp on their testicles so you could feel my pain because that's the pain I have waking up every day."

So now there's all this shit and information turning up that Mike Tyson isn't a rapist. He still maintain's his innocence. After hearing him say that he didn't rape her, but wishes he did - that's all the proof I need of his innocence. Call me fucking crazy, but uh...I think I'd say the same thing if someone threw me in jail under bullshit circumstances like that.

Hell, he wiped blood off of Lennox Lewis' face after losing to him. I always found that to be the greatest thing about boxing. Watching two guys beat the shit out of each other, later to be in each other's arms, crying.


"I want your grandkids and great-grandkids to remember me and say, 'Wow, what a bizarre individual.' "

There's been talk of giving him his own reality show.

I love him.

 

He's great. especially in mike tyson's punch-out

btw, those quotes are freaking awesome.

 

he's pretty literate, man.