My wife and I have pretty much severed contact with her parents due to severe complications with her (and my) relationship with them that started at the beginning of our engagement. I'll go into detail later, but how many of you have or are thinking about severing contact with a parent(s). Why? I will explain our situation later ; )
My wifes parents are a nightmare, when we first got together she said craig will come too they said "Oh we dont want him here" this was before they had even met me. A few years later when me and aimee got a house together aimee had an Asthma attack and a panic attack, scary stuff id never had to deal with that before, rang her parents, to look after her son, while we went to hospital (they lived 5 minutes away) they said oh we cant possibly come out we have jobs to go to in the morning, (it was 11pm, not 4:30 in the morning). rang my mum who lives 1/2 an hour away came straight away no probs even washed the dishes for me. when we anounced we were getting married we asked them to the wedding her dad said "Why would we want to come weve seen you married before", oh and her dad added you should buy a red dress after all you are a scarlet woman. the list goes on and on. we have VERY little contact now, at one point for about a year we had no contact. so your not alone
yes, if it were up to me I would not have any contact with my boyfriend's family. They have tried to break us up numerous times and they are, for lack of a better description, psycho. I can't deal with them. however, I would never ever ever ask my boyfriend to do this. So, I tell him he can have all the contact that he wants with his family, but I don't feel that it is necessary for me to be involved at this point (no children/grandchildren) and I'd rather not deal with the drama they cause. On the other hand, he is considering saying goodbye to them on his own because they keep threatening to kick him out of the family or something similar if he doesn't break up with me or do things thier way. Seriously, his mother said that she will never speak to him again if we do not come to their house for Thanksgiving. We have gone there for 6 years now, never once to my parents house (and my mom's feelings were hurt, but she is an adult and understood that his parents are childlike). However, this year we will be living almost 400 miles and 71/2 hours away. Neither of us know if we will be able to take time off from work to make the trip up. If not though, she will inevitablely blame me and sever all contact with us. Whatever. That would honestly make my day.
LOL, he is 29 and I'm 26 and we both know better. The problem is that his mother is 52 and should know better but doesn't. Not only that but she has 3 other children who can come for Thanksgiving. But she has never let us go anywhere else for any holidays. She doesn't care about my parents, its all about her. She is selfish and insane. Last year my boyfriend and I could not get off of work for Christmas weekend (I had off Christmas only because I work in retail and I have to be in the main office in case of emergency, and he works at a data center that never closes, so he actually had to work on Christmas day, and he could not switch his schedule) so we went down a couple of days before Christmas to see his family (they live 100miles from us) and give out gifts, etc. Well she threw a fit like a child because we couldn't be there on Christmas day. She blamed it all on me and said that I didn't want him to see his family. We tried explaining that we have to work (his parents and siblings don't work they steal from the government and trick people into buying them what they need) and she would not listen. She insisted that it was all my fault. There is no reasoning with this crazy woman. That is why I don't want anything to do with her. Jer's ex had to go on medication and sleep the whole time she ever went to their house, and now I do as well. It is called Abilify and it just makes me mellow and sleepy so I don't have to deal with the psycho bitch. I can't be in the same room with her alone or she will make up stories about me like that I told her to get out of my house, or some other crazy shit like I threatened her or told her to shut up. Things I would never ever do. I don't have a problem with Jer's dad or brother and sister, just his mom and his baby brother that is just like her and insists upon starting trouble just like her. That is one reason I'm glad we are moving next week and they will be about 400 miles from us. Woooohoooo!
Why is it always the moms???? It's my wife's mom as well. But, in all fairness, it's the dad's fault too for not pulling his wife aside and telling her to shut up, that she's wrong. I feel for you and I hope he finds the strength to sever ties with his family. www.toxicparents.com has provided us with some awesome information and ways to deal.
It is usually the mom... I don't know why. I severed all contact with my mother for 3 years. It was hard to do, but being around her was not good for me mentally or emotionally. After 3 years, she came to me asking forgiveness, and we managed to work something out for the good for the family. Things still aren't, and probably will never be, easy between us... there is too much backstory and things left unsaid for it to ever be easy... but I really try, and I think she does too. My husbands mother and I used to get along, but don't really anymore. Like CDB said above me, the woman has the emotional maturity of a 12 yr old. My husband is American, I am Canadian. We decided to move to Canada, and it was a well thought out decision. My mom was/is sick with breast cancer and I wanted to be there for her as well as several other factors. My MIL had a very public temper tantrum about this, which usually works to get her her way. I didn't back down, and I called her selfish. That was July 4th weekend, 2005... we don't really talk anymore. They still have lots to do with my husband, but she can't forgive me for taking her baby away... even though she has 2 other kids and her "baby" is 28.
