Here's my background.... I'm 21 and have recently realized that i'm probably bisexual. I'm one of im sure millions of kids who've lived in the porn saturated internet world that exists today. For the longest time its been strictly for girls, but i even though i wasnt directly aware of it, i've always enjoyed the clips with the better looking guys, where if there was an ugly or old guy, no matter how hot the chick was, it was unwatchable. It even got to the point where even if the woman wasnt even that great looking but the guy was dynamite so i enjoyed it alot. I cant remember exactly why... maybe for shits and giggles, maybe b/c i got too much time on my hands, but i started going to chat rooms and pretending to be a chick. I'd even find really believable, cute pictures of girls to use for my own. At first i was just fucking with guys, making a joke out of it. Then it got more and more serious until now i have guys on an instant messanger who show off for me while i masterbate. I do this about once a week. Dont get me wrong, i still love girls.... much more than guys actually... Heterosex is amazing and i get a ton of it, but i cant get my mind off of guys when im horny and alone. I dont wanna be the male in the situation though... i dont want to put it in anyone's pooper, not even a girl's (*gasp* right?), and i'd be much more comfortable being pleasured by a girl than a guy via handjob/blowjob, as i am quite often. One of the problems though is im only attracted to very attractive guys. I'm horribly particular about too fat/too thin. The only guy's i'd want to get with are definatly a league above me. I dont want a "relationship" either. Right now i'd enjoy a strictly sexual experience with someone i didnt know at all. My fantasy atm is for a hot guy to do something like stict his dick through a hole in a shower curtain so i could have some alone time with it to test things out. Fondling/sucking is where most of my curiousity lies, though i probably wouldnt be against, and sometimes fantasize, about receiving anal. There-in lies a problem... i cant get anything up there, not even a sharpy, so i dont see that as happening anytime soon. I dont like the idea of kissing a guy, but im sure that'd pass soon if i ever did anything along the lines that i mention. I'm also not "faggy" at all, and i still dont like the whole "fag" persona. I want in a guy what i'd assume girls would.... clean, fit, muscular, etc. There's a gay bar in town, but there's no way i'd go in there b/c of the chance i'd see someone i knew. Its just not worth that much akwardness. I pretty much only notice my attraction when im horny or when something triggers it... like there's this guy that jogs near my house, everytime i drive by him thoughts pour into my head. Im worried i'll hate it though, just as any straight guy would. Its why i'd rather test it out.... i could fondle a cock and be like "hmm, nah, thx though" and be on my way. I'd really hate for that "straight guy" regret to kick in while theres a guy trying to make out with me with his hand in my pants ya know. But then again, it might be everything im hoping it'd be. Which leads to all this anxiety. I also know to use a condom etc and im definatly going to excercise caution... dont want a homophobic fanatic taking me back to his place etc. So i have all this anxiety over my sitaution, i wish i'd just know, for better or for worse.
I dont either but you may be bi because homosexual just mean you are sexually attracted to the same sex not neccesarally "love" the same sex. Mostly men give you your thrills Im guessing.
I understand that you probably feel very weird, admitting to yourself that you have feelings for the same gender, but you'll get over that stage as soon as you just accept it. It really isn't that weird of a concept, when you think about it, it is just one's big macho man ego that gets in the way and causes all of the trouble. So tell your freakin' ego to shut the hell up. And once you've done that, experiment. Go to a gay bar, if you are just looking for ass. And lastly, are you sure that you wouldn't be capable of having intimate feelings for another man? Because denial of this is also natural when you are first accepting that you get a boner from guys. Maybe after you've become more comfortable with your identity, you will feel open to dating guys. Whatever you do, don't close off any doors. Try to stay as open as possible, when it comes to your sexuality. Love and sex are both fucking beautiful things, even if the sex is just for sex, or the sex is for love. It's all beautiful. Enjoy. Cheers and Love, Dylan
Sexuality is on a continuum from exclusively heterosexual to exclusively homosexual. There are probably more people between the two extremes than at them; in other words, most people are bisexual, at least to some degree, even if they don't necessarily act on the desires. Most women will acknowledge this reality; most men are afraid to admit it. So you are showing more courage than average just by posting your question here. Imagine that society did not differentiate between hetero- and homosexuality; where there was no prejudice or hatred expressed toward gay people; where a person's sexuality was no big deal. How would that change your view of yourself? How would it affect your decision of whether or not to pursue an affectionate or sexual relationship with another guy? I echo Dylan's excellent advice to accept yourself and be open to loving experience. Mark P.S. Wikipedia has a nice article on bisexuality that I think you will find helpful.
dont worry dude im sort of in ur situation except younger and im just taking life in my steide and seeing what life throws at me
