Your opinions and advice please :(

Ok to start i have just turned 16 and i have finished school and im in my holidays just relaxing . I never considered myself been gay or bisexual during my school life. however recentlly i have felt some what empty and alone like my life was missing somthing. I spent most of my time during the weekdays in male company which until now i never really payed much attention too.

I have nothing against gay people and i never had, i even have one gay friend who ive always gotten along with for thr past few years. Anyway recentlly i have been missing one of my friends particuarlly who i was always very friendlly with but never noticed myself been sexualy atracted to him or any of my other friends.

I had a girl friend in junior school but we didnt really do anything i mean we were only young and we thought we liked each other but apparentlly not :/ . I have never felt sexually attracted to girls really but ive never considered myself attracted to other males until now. Its driving me a bit mad and im not sure what to do

advise please

 

Cool off for the starters.

You are 16 and that is the best age to explore and discover. You want to learn about yourself and the world around you.

Take your time and think it over. Being attracted to males at this stage of your life does not necessarily make you gay. Most guys are going through some sort of self-exploration in their youth and many guys do try with other guys. Some don't and a few of them live to regret it.

No one in his sound mind will declare you 'gay' just because you tried this out. You feel an urge and you may choose to act upon it.

If you discover that men are what floats your boat, so be it. You are who you are and you will have to live with it.

Grow smart and learn to disregard the huge hype out there about being 'gay'. This is your life and you write the rules. Keep in mind that there is much truth in the saying that

'Poor is the man whose pleasures depend upon the permission of the others.'

When push comes to shove, you are always alone and you'll have to bear that burden upon your shoulders. The thing is otherwise called 'life'.

So, yeah, learn that eventually, you'll have to pay your bills and you'll have to put the food on the table. It is up to you and no one else to decide what's going on in your bedroom.

KD

 

If you know any other gay guys, even if they are just acquaintances see if you can talk to them about it. I'm sure having been through these stages themselves they'd be more than happy to help you.

I recently just realized I was gay this January and so the realization and emotions I went through are still fresh in my mind (when I was 17... fucking late, I know) so if you wanna talk about some shit or whatever you can email me at reduced2teeth@gmail.com

 

kewldewd... wise advice.

u dont have to categorize yourself now. 1 of my girl friends told me that her bf let his (male) friend give him a blowjob when he was 15. if you met him now u would b able to tell that the dude is not gay at all. its just something that a lot of guys go through... its just a journey, go with it and see what happens.

good luck!!

ps. being gay is more fun

 

Ok thanks guys sorry i cant post alot i share my pc with my brother so i havnt got alot of time to myself im not sure wether this is just somthing im going through like phases parents are always going through or whether i might be gay but i guess it is life

 

This may seem a little crude but it rings true for a lot of guys. Ask yourself this question: Who do you fantasize about when you masturbate?

If you think of only or mostly girls, then you are probably heterosexual and wanting closer friendships with guys (which is normal, although not macho to admit).

If you think of mainly guys, you are probably gay but having a hard time accepting it because of "internalized homophobia," i.e., absorbing all the prejudice, hate, and misinformation that exists in our society and believing it is true about yourself if you acknowledge being gay.

If you fantasize about both girls and guys, then you are probably bisexual.

There are some exceptions to this "test," e.g., If a guy is so afraid of being gay that he doesn't let himself fantasize about other guys then that very fact probably means he's at least bi. Straight guys don't struggle about whether or not to fantasize about sex with another guy.

Of course, this test is in no way scientific. I'd be curious if others think it's a good way to know or not.

 

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markdavid, I agree with your test.

When I was 16 and all closited, I would JO thinking about the captain of the Track Team. Then afterward I would promis myself that I wouldn't jack off to dudes again. Like it was never going to happen again. I did that a thousand times. It was like the Catholic Church: it's okay to sin if you ask forgiveness right afterward.

If you're in the closit you might "ignor" who you think about when you JO. I don't know how a guy "doesn't let himself fantasize about other guys." If it were posible for me I would have done it. Oh wait, I know how not to fantasize about guys when I JO -don't JO.
.

 

I agree I have always thought about guys when masturbating not once about a girl ...yet i didnt admit to myself i was gay until early 16's and ive known since 12 deep down, ive even had times where I would be like "this kid doesnt love her hes gay" and that wasnt because i hated people who were gay despite what I thought but because I wanted HIM to be gay so i could be with him , but i didnt admit that to myself at the time.

 

im always telling myself im not guy but i think its time to face facts and deal with it