I don't know if this has been talked about

in here but I want to mention it. I was watching a Lifetime movie where a married lady, dissatisfied and bored in her marriage had a one night stand with a fairly good-looking man. When she came to her senses she was very honest with the guy and stated that their relationship could go no farther. He kept perusing it and things became ugly in a hurry. I'd like to know if that has ever happened to you and if so how did you handle it? I think cheating is wrong but what I don't get is why when a person says its over that the other can't accept it. Why does the the jilted party have to expose the infidelity? Does that stuff only happen in movies?

 

that happens in real life, i've experienced it. Cheating is a complexe issue. Sometimes it could be a necessary step in your life, sometimes it's the most selfish, disrespectful thing you could do to someone. It's all in the situation.

I find movies and TV often downplay the pain involved in an affair for each person involved.

 

things like this still happen when a woman or man isn't having an affair, and just ligitimately want to break it off. The person who's being dumped can stand the fact that this person doesn't want them anymore and desperately want to hold on to whatever they can. In an affair setting, they are not only trying to get back at the person who hurt them, but are still trying to hold on to what they can of the person they were with. They feel like they were used until the other person's desires were satisfied, and then dumped when they were no longer needed.
It DEFINATLEY doesn't just happen in movies. I have seen it happen too many times to count. They couples weren't married, but the same senario played out.

 

It's so scary. You think that you've met someone good but they end up trying to hurt you because you didn't want what they wanted. Now granted the lady in this case cheated on her husband but still. Why would you think a one-night stand is going to last? I don't get why people have one night stands. It takes a lot of emotion and commitment to sleep with someone. (At least it should.) Why then would you want to waste it on a person you don't care enough about to have a relationship with and then he gets crazy with you, shish.

 

Moving this to relationships, as these are not "women's issues" exclusively.

Thank you for your co operation.

Reason number one to read all the stickeys on a forum before posting. This part of the first thing to read before posting on WIF. PLEASE read it, as well as the Guidlines for the entire forum and specifically the WIF. Thanks.

http://hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=162519

 

It happens more to ladies than to men. It's not a relationship issue it's more of a safety issue and sorry that my post offended you so I just tried to get honest input. I just think that being a lady entails more than a period, breast and shavings my legs. Men have breast. (Richard Roundtree got breast cancer and he's no girl.) Men get "cramps" Men get married so it's just subjective. I guess you are bored with topics like but I can't read your mind. I'm not 16 anymore so it doesn't excite me to write about a boy sticking it in me for the first time. I've had problems with my period being irregular and it doesn't make me feel good to share it when I know no one cares. I just try to make the readers of my post interested in what I have to say. I realize that the majority of people are under 18 that come in here but when they get to adulthood things like: Getting involved with a dangerous man may one day affect them. I won't force myself on people though.

 

saying women are the only ones who are more likely to deal with affairs is completely unjustified.

i also don't think maggie was trying to scold you....this topic was simply in the wrong forum. I thought it belonged more in the movie forum since you keep refering to the movie you saw

 

So, to clarify...

Was the post about marital infidelity?

Or was the post about stalkers?

And, what does "Why does the the jilted party have to expose the infidelity?" have to do with it -- did the guy go tell all of her friends & coworkers about it or something?

Cheating and domestic violence are two VERY different issues -- they can occur in the same relationship, but often do not. I would agree with Maggie that a post about marital infidelity belongs in relationships, not WIF. On the other hand, if the point was to discuss domestic violence (including stalking after breaking off the relationship), it would be more applicable to WIF, and I would suggest contacting Maggie to clear it, then start a new post more clearly on that topic (leaving out the cheating bit).

As for stalking, yes, it happens. I've had two ex-bfs who just couldn't cope with the break-up, threatened suicide and whatnot. One scared me physically, but part of that was due to the reason I had left him -- I got tired of hearing threats during arguments like how I was "making" him want to put his fist thru my face. He never actually attacked me, but he did manage to find where I lived after I had moved a couple of times & told everyone I knew to never tell him even so much as whether I was still alive. So, yeah, I started keeping weapons stashed around my house for self defense with that one. The other guy was just emotionally manipulative, threatening suicide (including one time when he KNEW I was on acid, pretty much the worst time to lay something like that on someone), shit like that.

 

People hate being rejected, and some deal with it poorly. While many people can move on after a relationship ends, there are those that refuse to go away. It's hard to tell who is a "stalker" and who is not. I once dated a guy that I thought was wonderful, and then one day he became my worst nightmare. I can't say what did it, because I have no idea. All I know is he went from Jeckyll to Hyde, and my life has never been the same. So, no its not just in the movies.

Why people tell is simple. They either want to hurt you as much as they think that you hurt them, OR they hope that by destroying the relationship that you are in that they will have a chance to be with you. Either way, a person that is stalking you is not exactly rational.

 

if any of you read my threads, you may know what happened to me, but I got more story for that this couple of days... anyways... I talked about suicide with my ex, was it a threat? no I didn't think so, i actually think it was the way out. the situation on me is a bit diff from others, at least I think it is.. people said you will stop thinking when you get busy, that didn't work for me, I work from 7 to 3 and school from 6 to 9. hell I am busy, but then what? with all the "free" time I had I still management to put myself into it. so.. I just want to say is that... not all "threadtening sucide" are threats....

now go on with emotionally manipulative... really.. I think girls are much better at this... for me I really have to try to actually be emotionally monipulative, and I didn't even know if I did it right... I play that game because I was being played for such a long time, and I think it is the only way to balance the force... people said I am attacking intead of defending now... I said.. yes.. of course... i have been underattack for so long, I can't even do a bit of attack?? I think it's all depends on what happened in the whole story... not just one part of it... not just one small part where the person threadtening to suicide and therefore he is emtionally manipulative.... you also have to see what the other party(s) did...

now... the one who want said they want to punch people... and hit on stuffs... personally I think throw stuff (of course not to anyone or cause any damage) is good... it do let go some of the anger building up... it is an arguments, something coming off people's month may hurt, but what I think is that, as long as they are truful... the pain should be minimum. sometime it is not the stuff people say.. it is the stuff people do... and I think the party who want to punch at stuff is hurted so bad, actualy don't know what to do, and he has to let the heat go somewhere somehow. in my case, I throw rocks to the river or to other rocks... it does help...

now... telling other people about it.. or the whole the story... the reason why people do that is that... usually one of the party LIES.... and the truth has to be told.... one cannot be accuse on something(s) that they didn't do... and that I found girls love to play with word, window dress what they did wrong, and make it all beautiful... as in they never did anything wrong... but when you confront with them, they will say sorry... and they would say they know what they did wrong... but then... right after... when SHE tells the story.. it is a fact twisted verson of it... anyways...again... this has happened to me...

and hurting is never an intendtion to begin with. if one is so care about it to actually go and stalk the other... I think he/she would not want to hurt the others... at least that's what I think.... it is when... he/she being hurt over and over again... by the same person... that he/she would really have to let other people and friends know why he/she is a "stalker" and what caused he/she to be a "stalker"


I dont' know... I am kind of a "stalker" right now... that is if you only look at what I did.. and not what SHE did... but either way... I think it is really hard to put on a label on anyone in the matter of relationship...

 

Sounds like you watch too much of The Sopranos.