The Really Bad Joke Thread

I'll start:

The police were looking for a missing woman, and asking all over town to try and find her. They found three construction workers eating lunch by their truck, so the cops decided to ask if they knew anything.

The first worker said no, without hesitation. They asked the second worker if the lady in the picture looked familiar. He looked at it a second, and said no also.

They showed the pic to the third worker and said, "sir, have you ever come across this face before??" He looked at it for a moment and said, "why yea, last tuesday..she was kinda fidgety."

bad joke.

 

...I feel retarded because I don't get it. Maybe I will...soon. Haha.

What does a stoner drive? A Blazer.

Yup...worst joke. EVER.

 

^The person was admitting to the crime.

 

i don't really like jokes, believe me, i know its weird not to join in the chorus of laughing listeners, all looking at you to see if you are going to laugh or what your problem is

 

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

 

He was asked if he had ever "COME" (CUM) across her face before

 

Er, I hate feeling like I HAVE to laugh at something. I laugh at different stuff then most people laugh at.

 

Once, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so fast that his foot broke the speed of light and killed Amelia Earhart as she traveled across the Ocean.

 

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

 

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

 

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

 

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

 

A boy dated this girl for a long time and then he asked her to marry him. He had never slept with her but from the way she kissed him he knew the night would be great. The wedding was great, all thier friends and family were there a beautiful event. They went out for thier honeymoon and the moment came. The sex was so beyond what he expected she did things he had only read about and even far more than that. He lay exhuasted next to her and as he gentley kissed her he thanked her and said it was by far the best sex he had ever had. She smiled and looked deeply into his eyes and replied "Thats just what my daddy tells me all the time"

BAD BAD JOKE!

 

Yeah. I like the "I lay...." part. Lol.

 

A physicist, a chemist and an economist are stranded on an island, with nothing to eat. A can of soup washes ashore. The physicist says, "Let's smash the can open with a rock." The chemist says, "Let's build a fire and heat the can first." The economist says, "Let's assume that we have a can-opener..."

 

I was standing on the side of a street, for whatever reason, and a drunk comes up to me and asks "where is the other side of the street?" I told him, "It's over there". He replied, "That's wierd, I was just over there and someone told me it was over here".

 

One day a guy got invited over to his girlfriend's parents house for dinner. He really liked the girl and was set out to impress her parents. When he arrived at the girl's house he was quickly whisked into the dinning room where they were getting reading to sit down for dinner. He sat down in his chair and the family dog curled up under him. Halfway through dinner the man felt a rumble in his tummy and noticed he had gas. He was very uncomfortable so he let a little bit out hoping no one would notice. As soon as he did, the girl's father yelled at the dog "Rufus!" The guy thought, hey, this is great and let out a little bit more. Once again, the girl's father yelled "Rufus!" They guy decided to let all the gas out since the father thought it was the dog. After he let a long fart out, the girl's father yells at the dog "RUFUS! Get out from under that chair before that man shits on you!"

 

alright, so there were two muffins baking in an oven, and one muffin was like, "hey! it's reall hot in here!" and the other muffin was like, "woaa! a talking muffin!"

 

What's 69 twice?







Dinner for four.

 

lmao=laugh my ass off

Sibt= stich it back together