2 1/2 month old crying baby won't stop

she just keeps crying no matter what I do and it's the middle of the night and I'm tired and crying and hating Axyn for leaving me here to do this alone, without him. for who knows how long, maybe a year. I just want to go to bed, but if I bring her in there with me she just cries. if I lay her on the floor here in the light she seems fine, but I just want to go to bed and I'm not gonna just leave her out here... I just resent Axyn. he knows how much work goes into a baby and he knowingly fucked up his probation so now he's away, and I warned and warned him this would happen and I begged him to just do what they wanted him to so that he would be here for me and the baby, but he just didn't care anymore and now look where he is and I have to do this all by myself until he gets out and my selfish mom doesn't even ever ever come over to help me or even just to say hi. and I'm living here with my grandparents who are sick and slowly dying and needing my help, too. and she never is here! I just feel like shit right now. I have so many other people to take care of and I have no one here to take care of me or even just help.

 

I am sorry sweetie. I wish I could help, I do. This is a hard position you have been put in. You, full of love, deserve alot better than someone who doesnt care anymore.

I really hope things smoothe out for you. These times however, will only make you more beautiful on the inside. Bring you even closer to your child.

 

She might be teething. I'm so sorry that you are doing this alone. I fall apart weekly, and My husband comes home every day at 5:30, I can't imagine how you feel. I wish we lived near each other, I'd watch your baby so you could have a nap. Do you know anyone who could hold your baby and let you have a nap?

 

My daughter Riley does that... At one point she started freaking out and we couldn't figure out why. Then, all of a sudden she learned to roll over and stopped acting so frustrated. Maybe she is bored? Like smiling mama said it could be teething too. Can you pull her in your bed, lay sideways and fall asleep with her eating/using you for comfort sucking? I have to do that with Riley some nights (she is a month or two older than your daughter). When I do it I put her on the side of the bed that is against the wall and pull all pillows and extra blankets out of the bed besides the pillows I'm sleeping on. I turn her sideways facing me and usually she is able to latch on and stay that way. Ocasionally she'll lose it and I'll wake up to help her but it is easy. I can't always sleep this way but I am much more relaxed not hearing her cry...
I hate to say this hun but I had a bf like what yours sounds like with my first and second son... I made peace with it by cutting him out of MY life (not my childern's, he did that on his own when he couldn't use me for money anymore). I became happy with myself and being a mama (even though it is SUPER tough alone). I resented him and eventually saw how my frustration and depression was felt by my babies. When I let go and stopped letting his crap pull me down I was much better off. You have enough to do raising your daughter, you don't need to mama him too. Its a big red flag when they don't change when their childern are born. I'm sure there are guys out there that did eventually come around though (I'm not trying to insult anyone, lol). Just keep your health and sanity in mind though is all I'm saying. Doing best for yourself is always doing whats best for your child as well. I'm always around though if you want to complain with another mama, lol.

 

opps double post... sorry!

 

Oh sweetie, I'm sorry you're having such a rough time right now. If I lived nearby, you can bet I'd keep an eye on her so that you could rest. It sounds like you could really use some pampering, you're taking care of a lot right now, but no one is really taking care of you. And moms do need that on occasion! It's no wonder you're feeling overwhelmed and stressed.

I hope your little one sleeps better for you tonight, and that you can get some rest.

{{{Hugs}}}

 

Hang in there girl... I can rememeber when my son Leo(now almost two) would have those same kind of "moments", he was right about the same age. He would get on a crying jag, and I thought it would never end. I was all by myself, his dad was never in the picture and I lived an hour and a half from my family, just me and my brand new baby. I felt borderline insane. I didn't know what to do... I would just systematically try everything I knew to do, diaper, boobie, burp, swaddle, sing, rock him... And when all of that wouldn't work, out of desperation I found a little something that helped me out bunches... Chamomile/peppermint tea. I had some in the cabinet(Celestial Seasonings "Sleepy Time" of all things*smile*), and thought "Hey, if this stuff soothes me, maybe it will work on him," so I brewed some up, not super strong but strong enough where he would get the goodness, and gave it to him with an eye dropper(I was all confused over the bottle thing, being a boobie mama). I was worried that it might be bad for him, or make it worse, but magically it worked. He got some in his mouth and the fussing kindof petered off... I think it was the combination of the brand new flavor(maybe the tingly peppermint?) and the fact babies' systems are so fresh and small, I don't think it takes them very long to start feeling better when given something to help out. It only took a little bit, and it calmed him down enough to sleep. It became my magic cure all, and eventually I started to add a pinch of powdered ginger(figured it would help a gassy upset tummy) and he liked it just fine and never had a bad reaction. To this day, when Leo doesn't feel very good, I'll give him some and it seems to work wonders. He'll ask for "Tea Tea Tea!". Amazing the power of plants. Good Luck with your baby... Focus on your love for her, not your frustration at her father... Like draws like. Stay positive, I know it's hard, but you will make it through and be wiser when it's done.

 

Well last night was really tough, but she eventually nursed and fell asleep. I tried nursing her before that, but she just didn't want it and would cry. I think she is teething, because she got really drooly, so I let her chew on my finger for awhile, but she would still cry and push it out. I just had to keep changing what I was doing: rocking, walking, laying in bed, nursing; until she finally wore out. that's about all it seems I can do.

The thing about Axyn is that he was put away BEFORE Abryn was born and of course he's felt just horribly about it since the day he went in and is scared to death of me leaving him and just wants to get out and help and make everything better. but that doesn't change the fact that he still put himself there. when he gets out I'm gonna cry and then probably get really pissed and punch him in the gut, which he says I can do lol.

I'll still have to do this alone probably until Christmas, possibly later. but he seems to be doing really well in his program so I don't think he'll be in for any longer than the minimum.

hey that sounds like a good idea. maybe I'll go out and get some good tea.

I don't usually get frustrated at Axyn, I have a pretty good understanding of his side and my side and how things just have to be right now. Just when it gets to be too much, like last night, when it just seemed to be too much for me and everything else just came crashing down around me and I felt really lonely. I can usually handle the fact that my mom's shitty and my grandparents are sick, because i realize that fighting the way things are never really helps to make them better, only progression does. just every once in awhile it really gets to me.

 

Teething: Chamomile oil or this homeopathic teething gel...good stuff, Maynard...

And generally fussiness: GRIPE WATER!

And other than that, just keep doing what you're doing...And I know you're tired, but something that works for Moire...DANCING....I would be exhausted and she'd be crying and freaking out....dancing around the apartment keeps her calm.

 

My oldest son was like that. I used to dance with him, sometimes while having him strapped to me in the carrier, and dance around. He absolutely loved it, and it calmed him down every single time!

My twins, they loved being rocked. Do you know, at 3 years old, they still love it? They'll come sit on my lap, make rocking motions, and say "I wanna rock mama!"

 

It works. We are raising our 6th infant and used this for the first time. Tamee, it will get better. If you were in AK I would loan you one of our well trained, infant sitting, teenage daughters. Hang in there.

 

hey, how did you know my name is maynard??

 

no way!!!!

I always say "good stuff/shit, maynard!"

 

lol...uh, why? where'd you get it from?

 

My momma always said it...

Like when she fed me foods as a baby, "Eat your green beans. They're good stuff, Maynard!"

And it always kinda stuck.

 

haha, weird. I guess not for you, eh?

 

Oh yeah, and where can i get this gripe water?

 

any drug store or grocery store has gripe water...that stuff is a LIFE SAVER!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Hey Hippifreak... That's crazy! My mom always says, "Good stuff, Maynard" and puts on this weird little accent when she does. I have to struggle with myself not to let it pop out sometimes. Maybe our mom's watched the same movie back in the day or something. haha

Glad that things are easier to cope with today Tamee... It's so hard for a mommy brain to function when it is full of baby cries. It's instinctual... We are programmed to go a little bonkers when babies cry, so that we pay attention to them. Weird, huh?
Really though, don't think of it has having to do it all by yourself until December... You'll only be counting down the minutes and not really appreciating the time that you have right now. Look into your baby's eyes, and you'll see that December is too damn close. With or without her Dad, the time will pass, don't dwell on what you can't change. You can be sure of your baby, and she can be sure of you and that's a beautiful thing... You might just find that you don't need a whole lot else. Don't miss out for want of something that's out of your control.
Much Love and Best Wishes!

 

Thanks guys