Nuclear warheads for sale

I have a freighter full of Nuclear Bombs floating in New York harbor. I will sell to the highest bidder. They come with extra fuses. They stay lit until launched. Buy 10 and get the 11th free. Instruction manual is in German, Spanish, Italian, and Esperonto. Amaze your friends with nuclear fission. Beats a woopie cushion hands down. Comes with a pamphlet on how to keep the CIA off of your Fucking Ass. If defective, spent nuclear material can be shipped back at no extra cost. If bombs fail to detonate, I find a good kick often does the trick. Be sure to stand at a safe distance.

Be safe and don't go threatening any semi autonomous soveregnties with total annihilation. Batteries sold seperately.

 

How can I ship back the spent nuclear material at no cost?

 

You won't have to pay for proccesing fees. I must tell you that spent nuclear material is processed in a facility that also processes soy and wheat. If you have an alergic reaction, flush exposed area with luke warm water and avoid contact with eyes.

 

i have 87 cents.. thats my bid

 

That will get you the key to Sadam's secret nuclear weapons bunker, but you have to grease the palm of the guards if you want to see the goods. I'll throw in a free geiger counter to sweeten the deal.

 

okay 87 cents, a piece of gum and potato thats started to sprout..

 

Done

The key is in the mail.

 

i'll be waiting for it.

 

Give me your kenyan bank account wiring number Mr.Mullashazabigdong and I will wire transfer you EXACTLY two dimes three quarters AND a nickel....As soon as you have confirmed the funds received I will immediatley hop on the outernational tricycle express to Apple Town and be at the harbor waiting for you so you we can watch the light show together from my prearranged bunker with special viewing windows. You will know its me by the 8 inch high platform boots, pink floorlength cloak with maribou feathers and of course my turban and fake greasy black beard.

Can I bring Osama? He's getting pretty bummed out in the back room with all the pot hooked up to his dialysis machine!

I will be gone for about 14 days to a UN whirrled pees conference....Will anxiously await your reply Mr.Mullashazabigdong

Sincerely,

Ms.Gonnahavtafuggyerfays

 

Man, just the thought of it.

Oh man, whirrled peas conference. I am green with envy.

 

Do they come with a money back guarantee?

 

I am now selling pre exploded nuclear bombs.

 

"A post to get mods to delete it Cerridwen" - what's that about? are ya tryin to get rid of me?

 

I bid $200.00.

 

Absolutely not cerridwen. You posted a thread about what it would take to get the mods to delete a post. I started this thread so that people could come up with ways to get the mods to delete it. It has nothing to do with you beautiful, kind, friendly self. Don't be mad at me, please. Don't be sad like the frowny face you sent me.

 

ah ok...

 

aww, that's so sweet, i'm glad this story has a happy ending!

 

is there a buy it now option?