I just got back a few days ago from visiting my sister who lives just across from NYC in New Jersey. I'm not happy with gay life in my little Midwestern town, and I am having thoughts about moving to New York. I'm interested in a lot of things that most other people here couldn't care less about: literature, independent film, the arts, etc. I've also had little to no success meeting compatible gay men. After visiting New York, it was like spending time on another planet--one that was much more comfortable. At the same time, I've heard some nasty things about the high cost of rent, the struggle to find and keep a decent job, and how many gay men even in New York are lonely and isolated. As a result, part of me wants to move to New York as soon as possible, and the other part is a bit reluctant to throw myself into all of that. I'd be interested in hearing from Hipforum folk, most particularly gay men and especially gay men comparatively close to my age (45). What can you tell me that might be helpful in making some sort of decision? Knowing a few compatible men from the area could make things easier, and practical advice would be helpful.
You are right. NYC has awful rents. Lots of people are lonely. Lots of guys are jerks. And jobs come and go pretty fast. There is no security like in your good, ole' rural community, where nothing ever happens. Neither good nor bad. And you are right: there is an awful lot of life in NYC. There are crusing areas and bars. There are spas and saunas around and there are plenty of eligible gay men, looking for a new dude every day. There are awesome shows, great concerts, great music and bookstores to kill for. So, you think it over. Study your plan A and plan B. Check on your resources and withdrawal strategies. Check your guts, too. And decide to either go or stay. I guess, you must have known all of this in the first place. It might have helped, if someone spelled it out for you. Good Luck, KD
I live in miami and considered living in NY too, the allure of the big city and diverse people drew me in. Theres so many more open minded people and just about one of everything you can think up. I say start meeting people from NYC on myspace and ask questions and make friends. get the 411 from gays that live there and find out some more goods and bads that could effect your choice. New york is the capital of the world so the skys the limit there. Goodluck
I live in miami and considered living in NY too, the allure of the big city and diverse people drew me in. Theres so many more open minded people and just about one of everything you can think up. I say start meeting people from NYC on myspace and ask questions and make friends. get the 411 from gays that live there and find out some more goods and bads that could effect your choice. New york is the capital of the world so the skys the limit there. Goodluck
Thanks for the input. However, there is no real security in my community. It's more of a rust bowl town than a rural area, and gay men are often tough to find. The one local "gay bar" attracts a decidedly mixed crowd, mainly kids who think it's cool to go to a "gay bar" and some hetero guys who are looking to get off with no strings attached. It's not what I'm looking for, and I need some positive gay male energy in my life. I'm in my mid-40s and myspace seems to draw very heavily from younger groups. What I'm really looking for in this post is input from gay men in my age group who live in or quite near NYC who can give me a heads up on what's what and make some introductions.
. SageDreamer, I know that alot of hip and gay folks, in our age group, are living in Brooklyn, as Manhattan is too expensive. Brooklyn is just a subway away. Google Brooklyn gay turned up some great leads. I suggest you join the Yahoo! group Brooklyn Gay Network of Friends. If you've never joined a Yahoo! group it's alot like this, but they send emails instead of just post. I always tick the box when I join that says don't send any emails. Then I sign in, like here, and read the recent posts, and comment if I wish. You have to sign up to Yahoo! groups first and then email the group administrator of the groups you want to join. Let me know if you need more info on how to do that. Sorry I don't know anyone I can connect you with, but I'm sure that the Yahoo! group will be a great help to you. good luck on your trek. .
