I don't know whats wrong with me, it might not be anything wrong, its just the course of my life or by chance but i've never really had a true girlfriend or been in love and i'm 22. I've had meaningless hookup relations, i've felt feelings for 1 or 2 girls but it never amounted to a very meaningful or long term relationship. I always seem to say to myself, "oh well this girl is pretty or cute and maybe even fun and good to talk to and comfortable to be around but i don't think we are connecting on the level that i always imagine my true love will be like" I never get that spark that I have experienced a few times in life and it always dies out fast. I go to a college with alot of girls and those that meet me often times take a liking but we just don't end up in a relationship. And also i really want to have sex or hook up but I want it to be with a girl that i'm in love with because I always feel kinda bad after doing it with a girl that is just random or a friend, like I used them and cheated my future love. I also fear hooking up with randoms b/c of STDs otherwise i would probably just give in and satisfy my carnal urge for sex. but the urge to have love would continue and its been for about 4 years now and it almost aches. I don't know why i cant get a girl I want, I look good and I'm smart which i know certain girls really dig, and I am able to be caring sensitive to them like i know they like, Most ppl that know me would also say i'm an interesting person. I dont feel like theres anything wrong with me keeping me from attracthing my love, i just am so tired of it not happening.
Sometimes the things we want the most are repelled by our desperation. Work on yourself- get to know who you really are and do the things you want and you will naturally attract similar people into your life. Putting your energy and focus into yourself, letting go of the idea that you aren't complete without another and staying true to yourself is the best way to draw what you want into your life. So casual sex isn't for you... You will meet someone who will love and appreciate that in you and feels the same WHEN YOU ARE READY FOR HER. Keep following your heart dude, there are obviously things you need to do by yourself first otherwise that girl would be beside you! Embrace the distance knowing that with each step you take in growth and learning for yourself... You are getting closer. Peace and love man... All the best.
Spooky! At 22, your story was my story. Then it started to turn around - sort of. Now at 32 I finally feel true love for someone, but can't attract her. What can I say? There are no easy answers, but sometimes immersing yourself in the things you can control is better than wallowing in the things you can't. The love of my life wants nothing to do with me (ok not quite true, she's being a good friend and I'm grateful for that) but unrequited love is a great muse so I'm doing plenty of songwriting - and being single means I have the time and space to record. So I try to do those things rather than pine over her, and it mostly works.
