Those tricky little orgasms, and boyfriends

Hey,

I'm new to the forum, and have a bit of an issue...

I'm 19, and with my first boyfriend. I waited until I met the right person to "do things with", and we're very happy together. I never realized, though, just how much of an issue it could be how I masturbate. A lot of my guy friends are impressed with how open I am about this stuff, but the truth is, I feel like my body is failing me.

I never thought I was BAD at masturbating... though I never read up on it much. A lot of the things that were "supposed to work" never really worked for me -- the shower head, among other things. Some do, but I'm confused about my "orgasms". I'm putting orgasms in quotes, because frankly, sometimes I don't know if I am REALLY truly orgasming, if ever.

I shake and shiver a little, and feel my thighs twitching, but as far as squirting (okay, I haven't had a gspot orgasm yet, maybe that'll help?) nada. Even the shivering comes when I'm just excited, and not necessarily because my body is at its full potential for pleasure. And also, I don't feel like it's some sort of PROFOUND feeling... like, I get to a fairly heightened pleasure, I shiver a little, and then my body stops wanting itself to be touched. Only once have I ever had something more profound, and I didn't do anything particularly different.

My boyfriend hasn't had loads of experience either, but he's open, outgoing in bed, and a quick learner; being with him is very pleasureable emotionally, and physically, and I'm extremely self conscious, so the fact that he gets me to play with him without thinking is amazing. I know he wants me to have profound orgasms, and I think he expects it. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm even orgasming at all, or something's missing.

Any girls wanna give me some advice?

I masturbate a LOT -- like, daily! -- but almost always not to orgasm... I feel like this is working against me, and I'm really very worried.

 

In the same boat ... you're not alone!

 

Being able to have "profound" pleasure doesn't happen overnight, and usually sneaks up on you. Meaning have fun and one day you will just explode....there are no magic tricks that will make sex a religious experience....if there were then no one would ever get any work done because they would be too busy screwing

 

...except some people manage to find it better than others! *cries* Hehe. Thanks for your post. : )

 

Eeee, this is good to know... I think!! I'm very glad to know I'm not alone.

But what should I tell my boyfriend when I don't fully orgasm? Will he even BELIEVE me if I've said I've orgasmed? I don't want him to be offended because I don't show pleasure as much as I want to. : (

 

There are different levels of being sexually satisfied. There are times that sex makes you feel like you just had the most relaxing massage of your life, and then there are times that you lay there wondering how you lived through such intense pleasure.

There are few people that orgasm every single time on a "profound" level. If you want your boyfriend to know that he satisfies you....TELL HIM! Instead of worrying that "gee, I didn't cum hard enough" think about how good it made you feel. Men love to hear "wow, that was so amazing" (so do women ) but they also like to know that sometimes you can be satisfied with less than stellar orgasms.

Basically, sex is mental and physical.....the physical part is the easiest. To work on the mental part you need to get past thinking "if I don't orgasm I didn't enjoy it" because it's not true. You can enjoy sex without climaxing.....if you allow yourself to. All you have to do is let yourself go, and enjoy all the aspects of sex. For example when you take a shower you can either feel the water hitting your body, or you can let your mind "feel" the water caressing your skin like a hot lovers touch....it's all in how you think about it....

Good luck!

 

Buy a vibrator. Use it. If you aren't sure you are climaxing then you are not. When you cum, you will know it. Nothing feels even close to how good it feels. You are stopping just when your body is getting ready to come.

 

I agree with "Now?"...get yourself a vibrator!They are awesome and when you masturbate or have sex,just "let go"...don't stop just before the actual orgasm.Like she said,YOU WILL KNOW...