Dear Bellfire

From young lady: Dear Bellfire;

I'm very shy and would like very much to meet guys but I don't know what to say to them. How do I go about approaching boys.



Bell: Well lady, I would simply find the one you like the best and walk up and say hi. You can asking him about himself and tell him some of your hobbies and interests. Try doing so at your lunch period. (That's when guys are calmer and easier to approach and the only other time is doing a really boring class and I'm not trying to get us in trouble lol.)


Shy Dude: Dear Bellfire; I'm a kind of shy and awkward around girls and I would like to know how to meet one.


Bell: Well I could introduce you to the first poster lol. (teasing) Guys have a different way of meeting girls than us girls have of meeting you guys. Guys can simply attract us by actions. (This is corny but it works) Walk up to a girl you like, (Again lunch time) drape your arm around her and steal a French fry from her. You'll get a stare, a comment or a laugh from her. If she doesn't like it look to see who saw you do it and thought it was cute. Chances are they will be a pretty good match for you.

 

what the fuck is the point of this? I'm not gonna read all that, just sum it up for me in 2 words or less.

 

brains only

 

shit. count me out

 

Dear Bellfire,

The guys I work with are borderline retarded control freaks. After trying patience, reason, threats and sarcasm I've come to realise that none of these offer anything more than a temporary solution to the multitude of problems their existence on this planet poses for me.

So, after much thought, I've decided to go with my first impulse which, rather than bore you with details, involves a chainsaw and various digging implements.

My question to you is; where, after 5pm on a friday evening, might I be able to find an open store that sells cement?

 

Dear Naykid; don't go with that solution go with mine. Bring playboy to work. That's right you heard it here first. Bring playboy or maybe a hustler and throw it on the table with certain little parts cut out and taped beside the stuff you want done. Example:

I need more (Picture of big breasts) supplies loades on truck (Naked girl pasted on truck.) That way it's subliminal. They will feel like they are enjoying themselves when in actuallity you are getting them to do work. Labor conditioning

 

It would be convienant, if at all possible, to have an answer sometime before my landlady gets home.

 

Probably not a bad idea but your solution doesn't make any provision for the revenge factor.

 

That's why it's so great you make friends lol.

 

Dear Bellfire:

I have 2 best friends and I cannot make time for both of them plus my family. I am also broke and kind of lazy.

What do I do?

Thanks,

A Girl with 2 Friends

 

Well, here's the solution: Intruduce them to each other and that way they will become friends and then get them to take turns treating you until you get your money straight. (That'll work and if it doesn't than nice try.)

 

Will you be my pimpette, Bellfire? I need discipline.

 

I'll have to pencil you in but I'd like to dig my high heels in your neck. This isn't gonna be a problem with you now, is it?

 

You're the boss