damnit

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by sweetdreadlover, Aug 4, 2006.

  1. sweetdreadlover

    sweetdreadlover TattooedRainbowGurl

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    i took a prego tast today after trying now for two months...negative... i want to cry so bad its not even funny....out of wanting one so bad and also out of frustration that its not happening....
     
  2. jgirl

    jgirl Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

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    I'm so sorry, I understand how heartbreaking it can be. Hang in there, I hope it happens soon!
     
  3. sweetdreadlover

    sweetdreadlover TattooedRainbowGurl

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    Yeah it is difficult and I hope it happens soon too.I ase to do..I am using an ovulation chart and all sorts of things and I still am having no luck....I wish it would just hurry up soI didn't have to worry about it anymore.
     
  4. barefoot_kirstyn

    barefoot_kirstyn belly flop

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    Maybe relax about it a little??? I know it's hard when you want it so bad :), but I have seen lots of families who want babies (including my mom and dad trying for me) trying for 2+ years, tracking their fertility and everything, and nothing. But then, when they all said, "ah, I give up," boom, there's a baby.
    I say just live life, enjoy sex, and try not to think about it too much. (like I said, I know that seems next to impossible, lol :p) When you're ready to have a baby, it will come. I do think that there's a lot of truth to the whole, "things happen to you when/for a reason." Keep your fingers crossed, but take it easy. The stress of it definately won't help.

    On a little side note: I have also seen a few couples loose touch when they're going sex crazy to try to have a baby (ironic, eh?). Not to say that this would ever happen to you and your man, just a thought.:)

    Good luck, I'll send some baby vibes your way ;)
     
  5. mamaboogie

    mamaboogie anarchist

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    (((((hugs)))))) We tried for nine months to get pregnant with our first child (but had been having unprotected sex a long time before officially trying). Month after month of negative pregnancy tests and wonky cycles really took its toll on us. Have you read Taking Charge of Your Fertility? That was step one for me, because my cycles were all different lengths and I wasn't ovulating regular and really had no idea how to tell when I was fertile. Make sure not to have sex too often! Seriously. Some men need a day or two for their sperm to mature, and sex more often than that can be counter-productive.


    My doc said to give it six months, and then have DH get a sperm analysis. I chose to give it a year, based on my age and the fact that I have endo. So, anyway, my point is that if you are ready to get medical help, first have them test a sperm sample. If that doesn't give you any answers, then seek out a reproductive endocrinologist and have some simple bloodwork done to check your hormone levels at several different, specific points in your cycle. Lots of people told me to "just relax and it will happen" but it won't if there is a medical issue behind the infertility. First get a copy of TCOYF if you haven't already.
     
  6. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

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    ((((((((((sweetdreadlover)))))))))))

    The book and method boogiemama suggested is very good. You may want to look at it. Take care, two weeks from now, I'll light a candle for your fertility (that should be when you are maybe ovulating.) :)
     
  7. sweetdreadlover

    sweetdreadlover TattooedRainbowGurl

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    thanks u guys...i needed the hugz:), and mamaboogie i think maybe its the fact that were not trying hard enuff??..the reason i say that is because i know the whole maturing sperm thing and so we only have sex about once a week...do u think maybe that could be an issue??...and yeah i need to pick up tcoyof it sounds like a good idea...thanks:)
     
  8. Sage-Phoenix

    Sage-Phoenix Imagine

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    *hugs*

    Good luck
     
  9. Lotus Butterfly

    Lotus Butterfly Member

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    I agree with the idea to be patient and relax....sometimes when we want things so bad they tend to be a little more out of reach. I was crazy about becoming pregnant. I was obsessed with the idea that it had to happen then. Well I got pregnant and 11 weeks later, I miscarried. I was devastated but decided then and there that maybe it wasn't the right time. I concentrated on other important things in my life and made sure to have fun. I focused on doing things that were easier to do without a baby in my life, basically I put the whole idea of having a baby out of my head (for the time being). Sure enough, without even trying (or not not trying) I got pregnant 2 months later and now am about 3 weeks away from having a baby boy!! Don't worry, when the time is right, it will happen for you!
    ;)
     
  10. sweetdreadlover

    sweetdreadlover TattooedRainbowGurl

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    so my question is...how do u not try?..lol..i know that sounds funny but i guess im a litle lost
     
  11. hummblebee

    hummblebee hipstertist.

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    Like Lotus said, you can "not not try" (or is it not not not?;)) I know how hard it must be, but try to think of other things. Let your sex life (and the rest of your life, to for that matter) go back to what's normal and natural for you... If you aren't using b/c and you keep having sex, chances are you will get pregnant! And if after a few months you're still concerned, then see a doc. Other than being aware of your own fertility, there isn't really that much you can do. It seems like it's counterproductive to stress out over these things. Just live your life and let it happen.

    I don't know if I'm actually of help in saying all these things, but I hope it works out for you! ((((hugs))))
     
  12. kraftykathy

    kraftykathy Member

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    maybe try 2 or 3 times during your fertile time? abstain for the week before then have sex every other day.

    i have a good friend who is trying to conceive too. it's so frustrating!

    do you ever go to the Mothering message board - motheringdotcommune - they have a Trying To Conceive ongoing thread with TONS of helpful ideas and just good moral support.

    good luck!

    kathy
     
  13. torz

    torz Member

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    i was always told that it takes 9month to a year to conceive, if you still have no joy after a year then go & see your doctor. this is what the doctor told my cousin last year when she was ttc. she was getting rather worried that she couldnt conceive. dont focus on anything, just have fun, eat healthy & it will happen. good luck
     
  14. sweetdreadlover

    sweetdreadlover TattooedRainbowGurl

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    thanks u guys i appreciate every word...the only other thing i can think of is my cycle is every 33 days and i have adapted to the women i work in close quarters with...could this have nething to do with it?
     
  15. mamaboogie

    mamaboogie anarchist

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    get TCOYF, it doesn't matter how long your cycles are, what matters is when you ovulate and how much later your period starts. First you have to be able to recognize the changes in your cervix and mucous that signal ovulation. And you have to be inseminated before your body releases the egg, sperms live a lot longer than ova do, so they can hang around waiting for the egg, but the egg won't hang around waiting for the sperm. That's why ovulation predictor kits aren't all that great, by the time you get a positive it's too late. Same with taking temps, but I did that, too.
     
  16. Poem~Girl

    Poem~Girl Member

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    I want a baby ... although its just not possible for me . It takes time... Hang in there and you'll have one. I wanted a family but i would have to have someone have my baby for me and that costs 25,000 which i don't have so thats out of the question

    Adoption i wouldn't want to do because who knows what the child has (not tryin to be mean) but that also costs $$ and making your baby is free but in the end it costs money for everything . But i totally understand your frustation
    Take Care
     
  17. sweetdreadlover

    sweetdreadlover TattooedRainbowGurl

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    mamaboogie you would be happy to know i won a copy of tcoyf from ebay and it should be here any day :)
     
  18. HippyFreek

    HippyFreek Vintage Member

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    yay! That book was a total life-saver for me! I was sooo worried about birth control (total opposite of your situation!) and learned so much more about my body and how to concieve when I feel it's time. :)
     
  19. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    a couple thoughts: babies are best brought in joy, and having sex "just" to conceive is mechanical.
    In Orthodox (strongly Orthodox) Judaism, couples have a breather through the woman's cycle and the seven days after, meaning they can't wait to get at each other once they are good to go again. Now, my rabbi is one of 11 and the Rebbetzin,one of 12.
    they have two sons already.
    It must work!
     
  20. sweetdreadlover

    sweetdreadlover TattooedRainbowGurl

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    yeah well its also kinda hard to concieve when your husband only wants to have sex 3 times a month...
     

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