how do i tell my parents i'm moving to canada and getting married in two months?

so are you flying us out for the wedding too???

Anyhow... just sit them down and explain everything you have said. Tell them you have thought about it and there is no changing your mind. Tell them what you are doing...when you are doing it and all that jazz. I think it will be ok (granted I don't know your parents)
but Congratulations and we (well at least I) want to see LOTS of pictures!

 

I've never done anything of the sort...yet. Haha.

My boyfriend and I are going to start saving up money as soon as we get our debts taken care of and then we're going to "run away" to Oklahoma City and live there for awhile. When we get the final plans and stuff down, I'm just going to sit down with my parents and tell them. Granted, I'm not going all the way to Canada, but my mom is still realllly attached to me (one of the big reasons my ass isn't on the curb right now). Only thing is, she already knows OKC is on our brains, she prolly just doesn't think we're seriously going to leave, seeing as we've been planning to move to Amarillo for over half a year and still haven't achieved that. So, I guess I'm just going to tell my parents when we plan on moving and spend a lot of time with them before I leave.

I suggest you just ease it on her, do it early so you have plenty of time to "bond" before you leave. This is a great chance to get out of this hick state, you should do it while you still have the chance! She'll be upset, but what good mom really wants to see their babies leave the nest and get married? She must know by now how happy he makes you, I'm sure she can forgive you for going to be with your love.

 

Couldnt he live in texas illegally?
Millions of mexicans are doing it now just fine...

 

The lily and the tiger crouching together :

Having done more research on status changing in the US than I would suggest any do - the headaches involved are so much worse for knowing how fucked up this country has become. With the current state of blind paranoia encouraged by the forces in power here in the states, I think you would be much better off going to Canada. Both countries make changes and marriage very difficult but when confronting the fact of marriage, Canada tends have more heart and to work with you much more than the present system in the states.

Green Card makes everything much nicer - if he has the chance for that - it makes irrelevant satus changes, and marriage then becomes as it should be in the give and takeof loving another.


Oft in looking back , It's those changes we made in being True to our Selfs and following the heart - not the fears and emotions - that make the most sense for Being that Being we wish to Be.

Lessons learned become the wisdom we yearn for and only by following what we Know to be right - not what others tell us is right - can we come back home to that wondrous being of beauty and light we truly Are.

Blah blah yakkity yak - Be True gal !

 

You do so very carefully and be very patient with her when she explodes.

 

Congradtulations! Id just sit her down and tell her, be honest and truthful abuot it, gentle if possible but dont give yourself any wiggle room. Choose a weekend youll be leaving to go to Canada, pick a day for thew edding asap so you have firm dates, something to work with thats harder to be talked out of. A smaller, simpelr wedding is way less of a headche as well, take my word on that.

 

Ahh wow.. I remember when you two got together and when you met for the first time and and.. now you're getting married!!! I'm so happy for you guys!! Best of luck and muchos happiness to both of you! And congratulations!!!

 

Luck be with you TL, Julie and I wish you two the best.

If your mother does have a fit, politely point out that she eloped twice in her past and that this is no different. You are an adult and even though your family and his family are in two different countries, tell her that love has no borders. If she still doesn't go for it, tell her you'll send her a maple leaf or something.

 

Congratulations to the both of you!

I wish you many years of sweet love.

Good luck with your family. That sounds like a very difficult situation. Offering to fly them up there is a nice suggestion.

 

how incredibley exciting. I say do it or you will regret it-big time.

 

oh and congrats. *hugs*

 

my literal answer to the question in the thread title would be "with a long distance phone call from there AFTER the deed is done". obviously if you wanted their oppinion in the matter or expected it to be favorable, would you be asking us?

=^^=
.../\...

 

who cares what they think, they are your parents.. but he is your future and you should do what makes you happy.

 

Hey You TWO!
I think this is the greatest news today and follow your heart Tiger. Make the little decisions with your head and the Big ones with YOUR HEART!
You, guys have been going thru so much pain not being together and I am just going thru it for two months and losing my mind. Trip_seeker is in Romania and is going thru similar stuff with her Mom.
You can't live your life to make Everyone else happy. If your not happy then how can you make anyone else happy?
You also can't live your life by anyone else's rules but your own.
Danger is a stand up guy and you two have been there for one another for awhile now.
You really have to be together and this is YOUR time and no one else's. Your family will get over it and if they start with the DIS OWNING guilt trip stuff tell them in order to DIS OWN anyone you would have had to OWNED them for starters. No one OWNS anyone and they will just have to deal with you being in another country. Canada is a good place to be now anyway. I say go for it and follow your heart and everything else will just fall into place. I send you guys Love-Light and Peace from Woodstock. The Wiz

 

You know how you tell them?

You say, "Hey mom, hey dad, I'm moving up to Canada on (insert day here) and Charles and I are going to be married (insert day here) and you are more than welcome to come to the wedding. I really want you there."

And if they have anything to say about it, just reply very calmly, "I am an adult and I am allowed to make my own descisions...and for now, this is what I want to do. If it is a mistake, then I will learn, if it is not a mistake, I'm going to be a very happy woman."

Not much they can say after that.

 

There was an episode of the Wonder Years that had the daughter getting married and moving to Alaska with her man. Just sit down, show them the show, and say; I'm probably going to dress traditionally but everything else is me.

 

aww thanks everybody

i've been emotional the past few days. i told my mom about the plans yesterday and she was calm (had to start chain smoking and her other hand was in a fist... lol) but basically said she's worried that i'll struggle and wont be happy... *sigh* i'm not changing my plans but after talking to her and talking to my 14 yr old sister i don't see anybody from my side of the family making it. apparently they all think missing a few days of work or school is too much and it'll be too much of a strain. soo... i guess my "new" family will be there... hehe

i've been trying to tell ppl, work friends and stuff, and everybody has been shocked at first, but then like okay, i think it's a good thing... everybody already knew we were planning on getting married but are shocked that it's so soon. after all most ppl wait like 6 months to a year to plan a wedding. oh well, i really am happy i'm doing this. i started crocheting myself a scarf today... hehe, canadian winter is right around the corner right?! lol

thanks again for the support, i may have to come in here and view this thread from time to time to keep my spirits up until things smooth out and my family realizes how big and real this is and they'll make efforts to visit me or to come to our big party in a year or so... we're going to renew our vows in front of a large group, but this wedding is personal... i am sad my family isn't going though...

oh and for now i'm just avoiding my mother. she called me yesterday after i left her house and i thought she was going to say she accepts what's going on and is sorry she wasn't more supportive at home because i took her by surprise but instead she said she wants to talk about it and see where i'm coming from. (what does that even mean?) guess she thinks it isn't serious. *sigh*

okay i'm done thanks again everybody. we'll take lots of pics and i'm sure i'll be asking for advice on packing and selling shit and long road trips.. lol

 

you're brave. good luck and do what makes you happy

 

thank you i really appreciate it... i don't feel brave most of the time.. most of the time i make mistakes and my parents have to help me fix it, and most of the time i grudgingly listen to my mom's advice on everything... but now... i guess i feel like an adult hehe

it's a good feeling though.

 

Congrats to my 2nd favorite AmeriCanadian couple!

Parents are hard. One parental group was always upset in our case. When we lived in Ohio, my parents felt left out. Now that we are living in Canada, my husband's parents are feeling left out. For several months before we moved, there was a lot of tension... my husbands mother basically didn't talk to me for 5 months. But, we were firm in our decision, and stood united about it.

We got married in Ohio. My dad, stepmom, stepbrother came down for the wedding, as did my mother and 2 half sisters. It was a small wedding, but it was important to everyone that they were there.

When I first told my families of my intention to move to the US, there was a lot of anger and confusion.... most of it came from my Mother. She told me I was making a mistake, she told me I was going to be miserable. But, eventually she came around. She got to know my now husband and realized that we are really happy together and that we make sense together. Part of it was her realizing that we didn't expect things to be easy... we knew immigration is a bitch, but that we were dedicated to it and to eachother.

So... here is hoping that your Mom will come around! You are doing the right thing in adjusting the wedding budget to help with plane tickets!

Congratulations to you both!