at what age do you think you'll be when nothing in your life inhibits you from being your true self? are you now or not yet? or like me, have you been and are once again at least partialy not? my inhibiting factor is having a wife and being dependent in at least some ways, my current means of accessing this internet being one of them, on continuing to live with her and not completely by myself. =^^= .../\...
I for one believe there is nothing outside ourselves that has the potential to inhibit us from being who we are - being our true Self. Nothing has the potential to keep us in a state of resentfulness or guilt feelings. And nothing has the potential to keep us from growing. Everything helps us grow - if we accept. It's not about life style and conditions. I thought it is about the heart.
i think in people 20s & 30s they are still learning a lot about themselves and growing up in a lot of ways. i think people are happiest & feel most like themselves in their 40's or 50's but then i suppose its different for everyone. i think i have a good head on my shoulders but i know i am nowhere near done learning who i am. haha i dont even know if this is going to make sense. it makes sense to me.
I don't know if this is really all about age. Maybe it's also about circumstances, various situations in which one feels like not saying everything about him or her self. I think social situations don't allow us to be our true selves, we always have to pretend - like it's with politeness rules, etc. and no one can escape that. We get to play so many social roles during our lives.
I lived life HARD from about 15 to 21. I did what I wanted, how I wanted and when I wanted and I wanted a lot. Then, for some reason it was like I experienced a psyco-social premature ejaculation and my life just kind of caved in on itself. It wasn't a negative experience but it was just a collapse to kind of a ground state and that lasted for years and decades. Not to many years ago I felt that I was suddenly reborn but the maturity brought on by age has allowed me to discern that freedom is an internal mental state that is not so much "what I do" but is more of an acceptance that what I do, think or believe is really only up to me to determine. It is more than "I don't care" what others think of me or the things that I do. It is more like I am free from even the "I don't care," and it has become what ever it is "they" think simply does not exist. I truely feel that I am finally free and it has opened up a world to me that I wish I could have known when I was much younger. I saw death and held it's hand, I felt pain and walked with it until I found that it had no force greater than discomfort...an odious emotion that is the root of most peoples dread. I found out that there is nothing beyond here and now so I embrace here and now with abandon. The future...the "what will so and so think" or any other future that your mind can hold you hostage with simply does not exist. Only I inhabit this body and mind. Try as they might, no one else can ever be me either in body or soul. I only have one chance in all eternity...eternal infinite expanse of time...forever, only one time will I be here and now as me. Why should I throw away my one opprotunity to saciate someone elses's craven need to minimize my life at the agrandizement of their own?
In the ancient Greek, "persona-lity" has a dramatic meaning - the "mask" we wear it wherever we go as we present ourselves to ourselves and to others. It reflects our self concept - what we seek to maintain about ourselves - the self (mask) we think we have, the one we think we project and that others perceive etc. "Self" is socially constructed. People attribute my characteristics to me. As an "individual", I/you cannot be understood separate from the social melees we mingle in. Goffman (1959) uses a metaphor (a drama) to explain how social meaning is attributed to "/me/you" a person in ordinary, everyday interaction. We see how the persona, on and off a stage and with various audiences, is manifested through - performance and roles, the scripts we use, how these are delivered and interpreted etc. Individuals and audiences are taken in with performances. They become a "reality". But the performances may be less than convincing - seen insincere, inerpreted as a masquerade of self-interest. Judgements about them may be cynical or dismissive. "Perhaps the real crime of the confidence man is not that he takes money from his victims but that he robs us all of the belief that middle-class manners and appearance can be sustained only by middle-class people." 1. pp 29 The performer may consciously guide the audience for his/her own ends. In this sense we are our own spin-doctors. Goffman referenced movement from belief-to-disbelief (from conviction and to cynicism) and disbelief-to-belief. Purposive and transitional movement is possible between the two.
Themnax Greets friend...As u know occam is not far behind u at 48.. The older he gets the less he gives a damn about accommodating people and as hepburn said..never complain and never explain.. The desire for social acceptance falls way in chips and strips the more one realises that society is populated largely by semi autonimous drones. This to some may seem heartless and arrogant..Not so. occam loves his species [as a species] and feels not contempt for others who speak and act from ignorance .. but despair. To target your question more accurately..Dont think any of us really knows what our true selves are. If one wants to act/say one thing and does not due to the only thing that can cause such a with-holding, other people. Then said fellow beings are the inhibitor. And we modify cause we do not want them to 'think' badly of us. But what does that matter? Again..ego calls the tune. Does it really matter if someone too lazy to use the huge mass of neocortex evolution has provided us, says 'you smart arse'.. Occam takes it as a compliment..and says 'thanks'. When the checkout person says 'how are u' occam tells the truth [so-so, crappy, OK, excellent exct] As brian said 'WE ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS' And the crowd roared in unison ' YES, WE ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS' but for one true individual..who said. [in a small voice] 'i'm not' Occam
I agree that social situations probably inhibit us the most when it comes to being "our true selves." Especially when you look at such factors as being polite; which, in my opinion, is a convenient crutch of sorts, which we fall back to avoid being candid with one another. To answer the original question: what age I'll find myself at when I no longer have anything to inhibit my true self...Im really not sure. I don't think it has so much to do with arriving at some great, enlightened stage of self knowledge. When I ask myself why I can't be my true self, why I put on "masks", I tell myself not to be such a pussy. Stop fearing what others will think or stop allowing certain circumstances to control in one way or another your behaviour....just be.
Stop fearing what others will think or stop allowing certain circumstances to control in one way or another your behaviour....just be. exactly As long as those circumstances are but products of human thought. Not existant phenomena Occam
"probably when i have no need to lie" Maybe the statement of greatest import on this thead well done Occam
i love life now. i do what i want and i be what i want. i dont let anyone or anything else hold me back from my true potential. if they dont like the fact that i will b as true to myself as possible. then they can jam it. simple
