I have a best friend who once lived with me but now resides several thousand miles away, in CA. I love him to PIECES platonically; I do not love him romantically, and yet I have this strange, intense physical attraction towards him. He loves me to pieces platonically but is not necessarily interested in a romantic relationship (it's something we've discussed hypothetically...)--but then, neither am I, really. WTF is going on? I am not in love with my best friend, and yet I can't deny my interests in intimacy with him, so to speak. I'm really struggling with providing a reasonable explanation with this one. Any help would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks! Peace
whether you guys are best friends or total strangers, you really cant help attraction. the question is, do you want to? do you WANT to be with him, although you wont allow yourself to realize it? and if you dont want to be with him romantically at all, then i say just keep it to your fantasies. your problem is a common one. i recently got together with my best friend (hes a guy) of 5 years, and things are a lot less perfect and not how i imagined it. its a shame, when i dump him, our friendship will probably be awkward for a bit. so decide what you really want.
Theoretically, good friends can have sex without romance. It has yet to work for me, but that does not mean it can't be done! You just have to be prepared for things to change afterward. They may not, but it's pretty likely that they will. It's your prerogative -- talk it over with him again. Maybe you can work out a mutually beneficial situation with sex and friendship -- having your cake and eating it too! Keep us posted ...
Haha, thanks. I doubt we're likely to get into any sort of relationship any time soon, as he lives ages away from me. I asked him if, given the situation, he'd date me, and he thought on it for a while, then decided he probably wouldn't. That settles things to a certain extent, but I'm still hugely physically attracted to him. Thanks for the input .
It sounds like you are both in relationship limbo right now. So it's safe to entertain thoughts of having sex with a friend plus. It is great to have sex with a friend and as long as you both know ahead of time it's just that and nothing more. In my own experiences I found it's a pain after you meet a person who you then want to be with exclusive and then that friend gets totally bent out of shape once the sex part is no longer offered. It's when the jealous monster rears it's ugly head. But since you both live far apart it doesn't look liek it can go anywhere anyway. Try having phone and cyber sex for now and see what happens. Or even better-find a lover who is avalable for more then talk.
