ive had depression for years, one minute your doctor says its one thing the next its worse and it sucks. depression in a relationship is really difficult. From first hand experience, the interpretation of something good into bad is an every day thing. Depression is a difficult thing to handle in relationships for both people and controlling depression is very hard, but u do not need to control depression for a relationship to work, its the connection that matters right? difference is also a good thing as it gives two opinions to one subject. So dont hang your head down and hide in your room coz depression isnt the end of the world, i know if the relationship is meant to be then it will happen.
You ask if you need to control the depression or if the connection of two people is stronger than the disease and can keep two people together? From my point of view, no the connection itself cannot "keep the love alive" so to speak. I suffer from a mental illness and there are times when I am extremely depressed because of it. My boyfriend also suffers from depression and ADHD. Trust me our relationship has been nothing but a rollercoaster. There have been many times where one or both of us wanted to throw in the towel. But the connection isn't what has held us together this long. It has helped don't get me wrong, and the fact that we know each other on a deeper level when we are not sick is also helpful. What kept our relationship alive is that we both acknowledge our problems/issues, and we are both are understanding of the other, but we don't enable each other or try to fix each other or take care of each other. We both have to own up to our own shit basically and deal with it on our own. When that is done we can come together. For example, my boyfriend can tell when I am depressed and all he does is ask me if I am depressed, and if I have taken my medicine (I forget probably 2 or 3 times a week). Then he leaves me alone. From that point I need to put myself in check and make sure that my mood isn't negatively impacting our relationship. It is a lot of sacrifice involved. However, in the beginning of our relationship, we did not know how to work through things this way. Needless to say there was a lot of crying all night long and broken dishes and holes punched in walls. It was not a healthy relationship. We had to learn to deal with the mental illnesses seperately. I'm not saying that it can't work, it most certainly can. You just have to know what is going on with the depressed person and both people have to remain open minded and willing to go through it. So, if you are the one who is depressed, I honestly suggest figuring out what you are going to do for yourself and healing yourself, then I'd be completely upfront with the person you want to date and let them know so they can decide to get involved with you or not. If they choose not to though, don't worry, you are far better off. There are people who can't deal with the depression and you would both end up miserable. So find someone else who is better suited for you.
depression sucks. but when you're in a relationship, don't let your happiness depend on your SO because if one day they're gone, you'll fall and it'll be even harder to get back up. friends and lovers are always good for support, but you yourself has to be the one that gets yourself back up.
i just got married... But i also have depression & AAHD. In my relationship it doesn't reflect as bad as i thought ....i'm moody but i thought it would be worse. I was on pills for depression but i got off of them because i ssen a commercial for ALL he pills i was on that linked to suicide....I can go from 0-1000 in a few seconds once a day and know my incapabilities and capabilities . I know what i do wrong and i talk it over with my other half and he understands . its very helpful when you have a mate that understands the circumstances and is there for you.
