I look up, and my friend sitting across from me, tells me “We’re going to walk in there, sit down on the couch like the Man himself, and they aren’t going to say a goddamned thing”, laughing. Just then, a robot ran up to the table, and screamed out for pure existential bliss. I said “Sorry, but I only relate with human beings, and you, thus have descended to the level of robot-existence, have lost any and all touch you ever had with humanity, and thus, this conversation is over”- My friend stood up, and we walked over to a gray building, a tall one, and walked through the double doors, into the lobby. The floor is shiny, reflective marble tile, and we walk in and sit down on the couch facing the clerks. “Can I help you sir” one of them asks. I do not acknowledge their existence, and I continue sitting on the couch. “Sir, can I help you?” they ask a little louder. This time, I decide to reply. “Fuck you, I am god” I say, loud enough for them to hear, but not without a hint of misunderstanding, unsure of what they just heard. “I’m sorry, can you say that again” they ask me, looking more nervous. I leap up off the couch, and scream “Fuck you, I am God”, my voice sounding thunderous in the empty chamber. The clerks begin fumbling with their desks, most likely a telephone, in order to call the police. My friend jumps up, and leaps over the counter, ripping the phones out of the wall. The clerks have all gathered in one corner, shaking and frightened. I walk over calmly, suavely, and speak. “I do not want any trouble. I just want to be like the Man himself, untouchable”. My friend picks up on the hint, and says strongly, “Suave, man, goddamn, you are one suave mother fucker” and he laughs, and I leap over the counter also, headfirst, tackling the first clerk I see, who begins screaming. Muffled by the screaming, I hear sirens outside, and six uniformed police officers run in through the lobby entrance, guns pointed at us both. “Freeze!” they shout fearsomely. I laugh at their tirade, their act, and raise my arms slowly in the air, and speak. “You can’t touch me, you cowards. Drop your pre-programmed social personas, your masks, your acts, and come challenge me like a real human being, instead of a coward who hides behind his gun. Wait, that’s all you have. I pity you man, I really do.” One of the cops, a short and stout dark skinned, with a short buzz-cut decides to assert himself, and runs straight at me, leaping over the counter at me, arms outstretched, but his head catches my knee, and he falls unconscious. “Freeze mothafucka” the cops shout, terrified. I remember that they are here for our protection, and I also remember their motto, laughing, ‘Protect and Serve’. Protect us against what, ourselves? Our own true desires? No, I will not be policed, by anyone. I simply open my eyes, and I lift my head from the pillow, and look over and there is a piece of metal lying on the bed next to me. It seems rusted, and I pout. Oh no, they must have rusted away in the night, I think, and I get up, dress, put on a brown suit with a yellow striped tie, and walk out the door, down the street. People walk by me, and I walk past a group of three dirty looking men lying in the grass, and stop to talk. I shake their hand, and he looks at me, and says “Man, where’s your gear?” “I am no bum” I tell him, “but a professor of consciousness, a scientist, and a God, as well”. “Isn’t it absurd?” the bum asks me. “Yes, it really is” I answer him. “Well, I just try not to think of it. It’s so absurd, it’s funny sometimes. In fact, I think it’s funny all the time. Sometimes, we just don’t see the humor” the bum tells me. “When I laugh, I know” I told him. A cat sitting next to him with telescopic eyes looks directly into mine, and telepathically tells me that I am god. He looks interesting but timid, and so I walk away, blending into the crowd completely.
new chapter: I'm standing alone at the top of the building, and I am looking down on all of the slaves below. I have decided to make a statement, to help wake some mother fuckers up. "I'm gonna wake up all of you mother fuckers" I scream at them from atop the building, and then jump, and the entire world speeds up as my eyes hit the concrete.
