My children bore me to death

Here's the story

Absolutely hideous woman!

 

Boo, Hiss!!!

 

wow.

It's almost all I can say about it.

What a selfish bitch who cares more about her outfits and shoes than two living beings. Children are the greatest blessing on earth and she takes them for granted.

If there are truely others out there that feel like this...they need to keep their legs closed. I would never want to see children shuffled off to a "nanny" (*scoffs* maybe she's just incapable of having FEELINGS or maybe she blames them for her and her husband not doing the hanky panky anymore) because their mother is an asinine, hoity toity who doesn't care about anyone but herself.

Why the hell is someone like her having children anyway? OK, she has one...she sees it's not all rainbows and giggles...why the hell would you have another kid if you didn't like the first one? I mean, isn't that what it is? She doesn't like children? She can't be "bothered" with them...Pssshhhh, how pathetic.

Oh and what a smack in the face to all the moms out there that love children and don't mind doing housework, taking their children places, and doing laundry...somehow THAT'S remedial to her.

I can't even find the words to describe the disgust.

 

And then there are wonderful people who would die to have a child... this world is so unfair.

Those people need a serious reality check. :X

 

(sigh) I don't understand some people. Why did you HAVE kids if you hate them so much? What will those poor boys grow up to be like? And what would happen to them if they were ever to come across that article? Sure I've had the odd day when I've woken up & thought to myself "I wish I didn't have to be a mama today." But sheesh, to dread parenthood? Despise talking with & caring for your kids? To feel that your kids should revolve around your schedule??? Ugh. I woke up to reality and went on to be the best mama I could. This "woman" seems to think it's just fine to have attitudes like this every single day! And the fact that she didn't stop at one child... wow, she didn't even learn. Makes me sick.

One of my sisters has a SOMEWHAT similar feeling about children. But know what? She's chosen not to have any! She knows she would be bored to tears with kids and worries that she wouldn't make the perfect mother, (didn't we all too?) so she doesn't "burden" herself with them. I don't always agree with her, but I love her to bits for making that decision.
love,
mom

 

*puke*
That was.....ah, there's nothing to descibe that!
Just like everyone else said, what the hell is she doing having kids in the first place!?
That last comment at the end really got to me, when she was saying how she'll ask her boy's if they want to play monoploy and they say, "nah, mom, you'll just be bored." And she actually saw that as a GOOD thing!!!!!!!!!!!! It's REALLY pathetic that she can't see that her boys have lost all respect for her as a parent! And I don't blame them! That woman doesn't deserve any respect!
So fucking what if taking your kids to the park is "tedious" to you, did it ever occur that maybe, in some alternate universe, the kids enjoy that as much as you anjoy ingoring them!?
Ok, yeah, I'm mad. This woman is a poor excuse for a mother and I feel so bad for those kids.
She says that kids who are 'showered with attention' are not well-adjusted kids. How often do we hear about a child who recieved lots of care and attention from their parents getting into trouble? Yeah, it happens, but more so in kids who come from homes like hers.
Didn't she ever hear of the fact that positive attention makes kids feel safer and secure, where as the ones who ignore them and only pay attention to the negative (if she even does that) end up doing worse and worse things because they so desperately want the attention from their parents?
Bah, I could go on and on about this. That made me mad.

 

Women like that should be spayed.

 

My biggest problem with her opinion is that she just doesnt see how as a society, it's the people that only think "me, me, me", and don't know interdependence or sharing, or kindness, that are causing all the problems....why are people so ignorant to what is causing society's ills? ARGH!

And WHY did she have the second kid if she knew after the first that she didn't like motherhood? GRR

 

And in some cases these children grow up to be hateful criminals and crazy.

This is why there needs to be more reproductive health education. Some people really don't know how to prevent themselves from having children.

 

I think jester doesn't quite understand attachment parenting, that's okay, most of our society doesn't understand it either. It's not about pampering and catering to the child's every whim. It's about meeting the child's needs, which in turn makes for well-adjusted, more independent people. Independence comes from having parents who instill confidence in their kids. Independence does not come about from pushing children away, but from loving them and showing them the respect all humans deserve. Children really do need adult interaction and direction, or you end up with Lord of the Flies, like in many of our crappy schools where there are 30-40 kids to each adult. The one and only adult who was raised with attachment parenting who ever made it to the news for illegal activity that I have ever heard about is Heidi Fleiss, and it's not like she was hurting anyone with her choice of occupation.

 

"boring" is one word I would not use to describe children. It's so exciting to watch them grow and see them learn, and get so excited about something as small as a cookie, or their favorite tv show. This woman makes me very very sad, it's like she didnt even TRY to love her kids. Of course kids can grow up and be a normal functioning person if they dont get lots of love and affection from their parents, but they have a chance at being a happier person and feel more secure with themselves if their mom loves them and hugs them and shows an interest in things that are important to them. The problem with this lady is she doesn't even respect her kids enough to think that what they are interested in doing is interesting to them, and therefore important in thier lives. (Does that make any sense?) I cant imagine what they must think of their mother. I love to think back and remember that my mother always had time for me, and was always excited about things I did when I was a kid. Even if she wasn't really that excited about it, she would still give me praise for doing it just to make me feel better. That's how I want my kids to remember me. How sad it will be for her kids when they grow up and realize that their mother was too selfish to care about them. Maybe it's a good thing she does have a nanny. I can just imagine what the nanny thinks of this woman!!!

 

I dont think reproductive education would work here. Afterall, she did get a first at Uni and makes enough money to get a nanny.

It sounds like she never wanted children but her husband did.... they were wealthy, so she did it knowing she could pay for others to look after her kids.

Plus, you do have to consider that this story has been sensationalised by the author. The media in Britain does have a reputation for it.

 

Oh, Holly. I was worried....when I first saw the thread title I was astonished that you could say that. I'm glad it isn't about you.


Is this a serious article....or is she just this ignorant?

 

Yuck. How sad for these poor children. A mother who is bored with your existance. A person's entire ability to relate to others is learned at the knee of their parents. If their parents don't care about them, they "learn" that no one ever will, and become as selfabsorbed as their parents.

There is a HUGE difference between "coddling" children and taking care of them. MANY children grow up in Attached homes and are never "coddled" but are listened to, loved (you can't just SAY it, your actions prove it or not) and RAISED. My kids have friends who have raised themselves and not a one of them is capable of a normal relationship. It's all "Me me me me" with these kids, because that's all they saw their own parents care about, themselves.

WHY have children if you don't want to be with them?

My only solace is that one day, her children will pick her Nursing Home. And I am SURE she will be "too boring" to visit. I hope she enjoys her Christmases, birthdays and Mother's Days alone in a piss scented room. Beleive it or not, these are the womyn who are the FIRST to complain that their children don't "do enough" for them, once they are adults.

 

Maggie always nails the peg home.

I don't SPOIL my son, I attend to him lovingly. I also discipline him lovingly. There seems to be no middle ground in that womans mind. Either you are mindlessly catering to your childs every whim, or you must be an independant woman disregarding your childs humanity. Personally I think that is a problem. Children are either there to be pets and doted on or pets and molded to the adults lifestyle. I think it is important to realize that a child is an equal to an adult in that its needs are just as valid and it's personhood is just as valuable. In fact it should take priority over the adult who CHOSE to bring them into the world (EVERYONE has a choice!) because they are helpless. It is your sacred duty as a parent to guide them into a rounded and fulfilled adulthood. (Did that make any sense at all?) And did anyone ever tell her about the babies in orphanages who just stop crying because they know they will not be attended to? Sounds alot like her boys to me. Children who don't become well attached in the first 15 months of life have an almost inpossible time having normal relationships in adulthood. Her "independent" boys may well just be emotionally stunted. They will most likely (like their mother has shown them) spend the rest of their lives trying to fill the hole in their souls with meaningless crap. May she reap what she sows.

 

And another thing! My job is no less heroic and noble just because I do it to less applause. Mothering is one of the most important jobs on the earth! I am growing a decent human being who will more than likely have to deal with and clean up the junk that kids mothered by cold insensitive bleeps like her will create. Poo on her. I'm so angry!

 

Well, for starters, as a general rule, people who are most often bored with those around them feel that way because they are boring, not the other way around.

And it is possible to have an independent adult life and a great family life with your children. My parents managed to balance careers, friends, a very happy marriage, and going back to school, while always being able to find time for me and my brothers. And we don't bore them, because we find things we all enjoy to do. We go to see Shakespeare plays, museums, bookstores, Renaissance fairs, etc. And the things that we individually like that the rest of the family doesn't like, we do on our own. As a result, we are a very close family, but we all are very independent. I love my parents and think they were great parents, but I don't think they did anything really shocking or amazing there. This is just common sense.

I just don't understand how a person can be bored with their children. Forget selfish, it doesn't even seem logical. I mean, once you give birth to someone, wouldn't you have an urge to keep tabs on them?

 

Wow.. I don't even know what to say about this, I can't understand how a mother could even think this way about her children. Sure there are times when mundane activities can get you down, but to say that your children are so boring you can't bear spending time with them, (and that's pretty much what she is saying) is unbelievable. I think she is missing out on so much and will hopefully one day regret her thoughts and actions. Children are witty and humorous little souls (I can't believe some of the stuff they come out with) and the joy of watching them experience new things is awesome.

 

No, Attachment Parenting is watching your child closely enough to know WHEN to "wean" them. To know what that child is comfortable with and what not to push them into.

Attachment Parenting is a great tool to help bring out the BEST in your child, while that might not always be what society sees as the best.

 

Ok, this prooves you do not understand the whole concept of AP. Attatchment parenting has NOTHING to do with "spoiling" your children by giving them everything that that cry for.
AP is all about having a secure relationship with your children. You intuitivly know what they are feeling. It is respectful parenting. Attachment parenting is responding appropriately to your baby's needs, which means knowing when to say "yes" and when to say "no." It is a question of balance –not being indulgent or permissive, yet being attentive.
Attachment parenting actually encourages the right balance between dependence and independence. Because the connected child trusts his parents to help him feel safe, he is more likely to feel secure exploring his environment. In fact, studies have shown that toddlers who have a secure attachment to their mother tend to adapt easier to new play situations and play more independently than less attached toddlers.

ATTACHMENT RESEARCH



Attachment studies have spoiled the spoiling theory. Researchers Dr.'s Bell and Ainsworth studied two sets of parents and their children. Group A were attachment-parented babies. These babies were securely attached, the products of responsive parenting. Group B babies were parented in a more restrained way, with a set schedule and given a less intuitive and nurturing response to their cues. All these babies were tracked for at least one year. Which group do you think eventually turned out to be the most independent? Group A, the securely attached babies. Researchers who have studied the affects of parenting styles on children's later outcome have concluded, to put it simply, that the spoiling theory is utter nonsense. Pick them up quickly and they'll get down quickly. A child must go through a stage of healthy dependence in order to later become securely independent. Spoiling does become an issue a few years from now, when overindulgence signals a parent's inability to set limits and boundaries. This happens most often in children who are materially bonded or whose parents are still trapped in dysfunctional patterns from their own childhood.

Spoiling means leaving something alone, such as putting food on the shelf to spoil. The attachment style of parenting does not mean overindulgence or inappropriate dependency. The possessive parent, or "hover mother," is one who keeps an infant from doing what he needs to do because of her own insecure needs. This has a detrimental effect on both the infants and the parents. Attachment differs from prolonged dependency. Attachment enhances development; prolonged dependency will hinder development.