meaning of loving someone?

ok,

now i will start by saying that i am still a virgin and have never even been on a date yet and i am 18 and that bothers me. i feel that loving someone is more about then sharing love, its also about sharing breath, heart, blood, and body and everything that has to do with the human body. i am having a hard time finding a girl that would click with my and my meaning of love and life, i know they are hard to find but work is not the best place to try and start a realationship. i dont drink or smoke or anything like that i just feel that love is so shallow and always has been. i feel that whatever your parter wants of you you are under oath to give, no matter what it is when it comes to your body. i just want to emphasize how i feel about that. and the internet is the best place to express your real views and i am looking for someone who could teach me or help me find someone who satisfy the most important feeling, need, desire and hope of life.

josh

 

So, basically you think someone has to have sex with you to show they love you?
That's probably why you haven't been on any dates.
I can hear you now "I'll love you if you fuck me."
Right....

 

that's really really fucked up, dude. No wonder nobody will go out with you. love does not imply that another person owns you, nor that you own them. love is a feeling, not a set of rules.

 

Seriously? I mean, yes you shoudl try to mak eyour partner happy but not at the expense of compromising yourself o r your morals, and it kind of sounds like youre trying to do that. . Whta if making your partner happy wont make you happy? Whos right in that situation, whose supposd to do wahtever they can to please their partner if the situation will only mak eone of them happy?

 

its too bad that your view of love is so distorted. its too bad that youve got all this energy towards love and eagerness to have someone, and all you want to do is have sex. think about transferring this into actual feelings and watch all the ladies flock to your sensitivity.

 

I don't get it. You say you feel that love is so shallow and always has been. Then at the end of your post you describe love as the most important feeling, need, desire and hope of life. How then can it be shallow?

You also talk about being under oath with regards to sex. In marriage (or in any relationship for that matter) there is such a thing as marital rape. That is, a husband will force his wife to have sex with him even when she doesn't want to, presumably on the grounds that as his spouse she is "under oath".

I'm not saying that's what you'll do when you finally do have a girlfriend - hell, maybe I'm reading your post wrong. I'm just alarmed about the way you said it: "i feel that whatever your parter wants of you you are under oath to give, no matter what it is when it comes to your body. i just want to emphasize how i feel about that." Dude, I don't wanna sound like I'm lecturing you, but I think you have a lot to learn about love.

Love is not about being under oath. Love is about freedom, yours and your partner's. If you decide to commit to a relationship and bind yourselves to each other, that decision comes from your freedom. Of course if you love your partner you will want to make her happy. And if she loves you she will want to make you happy. But it's more than that. True love means respecting each other's freedom to say "yes I'll do that" or "No, I won't do that.

Sorry, I guess I did end up lecturing you. But you did say you were looking for someone to teach you.

Peace.

 

Yes your totally confused, everyone knows true love is measured by if they spit or swallow. LMAO

 

Are you trying to say that you are a cannibal? Maybe you should try going to the South American rainforest!

 

ROFLMAO
Yeah, forget what I said earlier. It's spit or swallow.

Dude, I like your sig. It's one of the funniest I've seen. :sunglasse

 

Wow. I've been married for 11.5 years. This December DH & I will have been together for 15 years. We've married each other twice now, and I STILL don't feel that I *owe* him anything just because I love him!

Wanting to do anything & everything within my power to please him, yes. But do I owe it to him??? No. And if he were to ask something of me that made me feel uncomfortable, would I do it??? Well I might, but only because I know him better than anyone else and ABSOLUTELY NOT because I owe it to him, or out of guilt or obligation!

Even after vows have been said & you have a marriage license, no "oath" has been sworn about what one must or must do - other than to love, cherish, honor, forsake all others... that's about it.
love,
mom

 

Amen to that. The clause in the marriage vow states, "...for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, 'til death do us part." Nothing there that says, "My body is yours to use as you please."

 

Heya unionpacific

geez time flies ... seems we're all on Hipforums longer than I really care to think about ...
But it's so nice to see the kids grow up.

Now to a pretty stubborn young man such as you - I wonder what kind of advice he will take and which will make sense.

Love is not the same as sex - do you agree ? Oh good.

So just go on loving whomever you meet on the serpentines of life. Each of them will teach you about love each in their own way, in a million expressions.

Trust they will, and do not worry.

All things fall in place in their own time. Do not seek for the other half to make you complete ... as you will not find it outside of your own self. Find wholeness within. There is no other place in the entire universe.

And Love opens your heart even if there's none around.

Love your own self, and be true. Be patient ... know this is a life long adventure.

Wishing you well

 

Dude, love isn't about an oath and it involves freedom not oaths. Sure, be faithful etc, but there's no law of love that states you have to do *whatever* your partner wants you to because of some oath.

 

you folks misunderstood me.

i am saying that loving someone is more about sex and money. its about how you feel. and when you love someone you are agreeing to an age old oath that your body belongs to them and there body also belongs to you. you share your bodies as well as love. sex is to narrow minded in society. people need to realize that sex and love is about sharing everything the body has to offer to your parter, not just your pussy and penis but everything the body has to offer. that is what i am saying and people seem to keep misinturpeting that becuase society nowdays looks on the bad or dark side of things, it wasnt like that years ago but at that time there was and in some cases still is a way to moderate and control sexual activity by making it look immoral and wrong when in fact its just people trying to make life a living hell and most people seem to go along with it becasuse there independant voices they didnt want others to hear.

 

Sorry, Im NEVER going to feel like my body "belongs" to anyone but myself, and even tahts iffy. Sharing, hurrah. Belonging, EUCH

 

From The Prophet
On Love
Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."

And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:

When love beckons to you follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

 

Okay Josh, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Let's look at what you've written:

"i am saying that loving someone is more about sex and money."
I think you mean loving someone is more than just about sex and money. If so then I agree with you.

"its about how you feel." Again, I agree. And since this sentence immediately follows the statement "loving someone is more (than just) about sex and money", it means you value feelings more than sex and money. Again, I agree.

"and when you love someone you are agreeing to an age old oath that your body belongs to them and there body also belongs to you. you share your bodies as well as love."

Why don't we clarify first what you mean by belonging and sharing.? Sharing, IMO, is when you allow someone access to something which you own. It does not necessarily mean you let them own what you own, although it could mean joint ownership (that is, you own a part, I own another part) in the business world.

But in the area of love and relationships, sharing doesn't necessarily mean co-owning. BY that I mean, I can share my body with my lover, every single part of it from head to toe, but that doesn't mean she co-owns it. It still fully belongs to me. And it is only out of the love I have for her that I share it with her. Looks like we don't agree on this one.

Now let's look closer at what you wrote: "you are agreeing to an age old oath". Now this is closer to my idea of love. That is, love being about freedom. Because you said in your earlier post, "you are under oath". That one threw a lot of us off because you didn't mention how we come to be under oath in the first place. Where we forced there, or did we freely place ourselves under oath?

"sex is to narrow minded in society. people need to realize that sex and love is about sharing everything the body has to offer to your parter, not just your pussy and penis but everything the body has to offer." Could you please expound on this one?

"that is what i am saying and people seem to keep misinturpeting that becuase society nowdays looks on the bad or dark side of things, it wasnt like that years ago but at that time there was and in some cases still is a way to moderate and control sexual activity by making it look immoral and wrong when in fact its just people trying to make life a living hell and most people seem to go along with it becasuse there independant voices they didnt want others to hear."

And on this one as well?

 

This is why we all disagreed with you, unionpacificrailroad. We all believe in these lines.

 

"and when you love someone you are agreeing to an age old oath that your body belongs to them and there body also belongs to you. you share your bodies as well as love."

Why don't we clarify first what you mean by belonging and sharing.? Sharing, IMO, is when you allow someone access to something which you own. It does not necessarily mean you let them own what you own, although it could mean joint ownership (that is, you own a part, I own another part) in the business world.

what i mean is that your body wasnt meant for you as much as it is meant for the person who loves you. that is why you live therefore your body lives and belongs to your parter you live for them and they live for you. for example my penis wasnt meant for me, it is meant for my parter (if i can find one) i dont have any need for one and my future to be parter has no need for a pussy. they are meant for each other because the guy wants a pussy and the girld wants the penis so why wouldnt they be meant for each other. besides if you truely love someone you should feel a sense of oath and devotion to them and if you feel like you never owe the person you love anything you realy didnt commit your heart to them you were just desperate to find a fuck buddy. this is my view. now try to understand it from the positive side. if 2 people can agree to these simple basics of love think of how much better they can get along. screw society and political thinking this is the exact opposite of what 'morals' say becuase morals and human nature are exact opposites. and if you dont understand by what i mean about sharing everything the body has to offer to your parter then i wont bother on answering becuase you already know the answer you just dont want to accept it. like most people who are or claim not to be politicaly active. its a state of mind dudes and just for a minute imagine there was no politics or governments you let your natural desires and needs out and its then you realize what i am talking about and why most people are so uptite in sharing themselves under stress and pressure when 2 people were meant at there own time not societiys defined age to share whatever and however they wanted with each other without worries and when 1 parter wanted something from the other they shouldnt have to ask becuase they are not considering themselves to be 2 individuals unless there having intercourse but 1 and when 1 wants something they get it because its theres anyway. see what i mean?

 

Such a narrow viewpoint. What about male/male or female/female relationships? What about polyamoury or open rleationships? Maybe theyre not for you but you sound like people cant express a different opinion than your own, want soething differen than you do.



Anyways, to the point, heres the problem I think most of us are seeing: With "BELONGING" comes ownership. With that comes a lack fo choice, of forced decisions or orders from otehrs. Its a VERRRRRRY different metnality than open, honest, caring sharing of ones self with another. BELONG TO takes away choice, or at least thats how the word is interpreted in my brain.