And was this supposed to be a joke?

oh I just read the last part of your post...i would seriously stay away from him and get as much distance as possible.

 

Obviously a guy who does anything that makes his grand daughter this uncomfortable has some problems. For your parents to let him get away with it because he has ofered to help with school sounds like the same old patronistic ownership that I had hoped disappeared in the free world long ago.

The jokes? I really don't know how many man bashing jokes I get from my girlfirends & even some women that just sort of know me a year but they are very prevelant. How about sending some of them his way? I'm sure that you must get them too?

 

Your grandfather sounds like creep. That being said I did enjoy the jokes...guess your not one of those women who can handle the truth (kidding).

 

If you "put up with it because tution is expensive", please don't sneer at the working girls on the street corner, they're just in a different branch of your profession.

To the OP, if you are bothered by the way your grandfather touches you, you can speak up yourself. You don't need your parents permission to set your own limits.

 

keep in mind shes 15... She's in the middle of her parents and her grandfather. What would you do?


Honestly i would have a VERY VERY seriously talk with your parents about how your grandfather is treating you and put a STOP to it don't go near him if he makes you uncomfortable and if tuition is too much you'll just have to get a job like every other girl thats parents didn't want to pay. I know thts what i'm doing because mom and dad didn't want to fork it out. keep your chin up. I know you'll get through this. Its hard but do what your gut instinct tells you to do.

Take Care
PG

 

The jokes aren't what I would be concerned about.
I can't say anything about those, because I've spent many a day laughing over jokes directed towards men with my girlfriends.

But, if your grandfather is making you feel uncomfortable, you need to say something to someone around you---your parents, your grandfather himself, or someone....anyone. But you should say something if you don't like it. No one can say for sure what to do, for you, because none of us know your situation like you do, but chances are, if it makes you feel THAT uneasy, it's probably inappropriate, and you should not have to deal with that.

Fuck the tuition, I say, yes it's expensive, but you will find a way to make ends meet ifyou want college badly enough---you shouldn't have to put yourself through a situation like that, just to get an education.

 

I'm also a little confused as to why your grandfather would send these to his 15 yr. old granddaughter...

maybe he just has no tact, but something smells a bit inappropriate to me, there.

 

Ugh. Jokes like that piss me off.

Hmm...that is a bit...strange. Nest time he does it just tell'em to keep his hands to himself.

 

I understand. I wanted to point out that she should not let people talk her into be comfortable with being touched inappropriatly. ("Honey, its only grandpa, he doesn't mean anything, its OK") Even though she is 15 its her body and HER decision whether the touching is appropriate.

That being said, of course a 15 yr old should request (and receive) help from her parents with dealing with inappropriate behaviour from Grandpa.

 

meh. my man and i toss those sorts of jokes back and forth ALL the time.

 

I agree

 

I neglected to metion he owns a business, and he is the boss and my dad works for him. Thats mostly the biggest reason, although im not close with my father, my dad doesn;t deserve to be treated like shit (as he already is). What I mean by this, is he would honestly go out of his way to make my dads life a living hell. On top of that my mom doesn't want to "stir the pot".

I did email him and basically said I didn't enjoy the email, and that i was offened. He hasn;t sent me an email since thank god!!!

But I know their harmless jokes, but hes my grandfather...who has sent me some werid ass emails..whith some werid ass things. And what offened me is that he really does look at women that way, so it didn't come off as a joke. He really is a pig, the biggest one I have ever know.

 

you need to tell your parents to talk to him to stop at least the shit he does to you. or you could just tell him, which will might surprise him if he really believes in these jokes. would you become a stripper to get money for college? at least you have men who aren't related to you watching you. but in this case, your sick grandfather is touching and degrading you.

 

Like I said hun, I do feel it's inappropriate for someones grandfather to be sending those jokes to his 15 year old granddaughter...

You're right, he shouldn't be sending you things like that, ESPECIALLY at your age. I'm glad you made a point to tell him that you didn't enjoy it...and if he does do it again, make sure to be very clear that it's inappropriate and you don't like it.

Maybe you can block his emails somehow?

 

You should seriously say something to him about how he treats you. Grabbing you around the waist, depending on how it's done, could go either way I guess. Aka my Grandpa would give me a hug around the waist if he was sitting. But the differance is I knew he was giving me a hug and wasn't being creepy. If it makes you uncomfortable then it is wrong and should be addressed.

And sexual comments? You've got to be kidding me! For one, he's your grandpa, and for two you're 15! It's just not right anyway you go about it! If I were you, I'd use whatever anger I had when he did it and say in front of everyone "Stop it Gramps! I don't like that!" That way your parents don't have to say anything, although they should, and everyone is clear that you don't like the way he acts towards you.

As for the e-mail, I thought some were funny, but if you don't like his e-mails just delete them when you see them in your in-bin. I guess if I were sent that by someone who actually thought that way they wouldn't be so funny.

 

I agree. The thing that bothers me the most is that he has no right to touch you! If your parents won't say anything about it, because "he has money and will pay for your college." is like they are pimping out their child to a creep, to get out of paying for your college themselves.

I'd say the hell with him. Avoiding contact with creeps is always the best policy.

 

Please tell a social worker that he is touching you. Do it for yourself.

 

that sucks about your grandpa, so in your context i definitely would have got angry too. but if i'd received that email from anybody else, i would have found it hilarious, as i just did then.

i have nothing against women, i am one. and i have nothing against men either. those jokes sounded like they were made up by a group of men who love women and find them amusing and a little bewildering at times. just as i make jokes about men with my friends, it's out of fondness. i love the differences between the sexes, and the constant jokes between us- humour makes life lighter.

but listen to what the other posters are saying, if your grandpa is making you uncomfortable, then tell your parents. they may even be aware of his 'tendencies', but not aware that you're involved too. good luck!

and hopefully this nasty incident hasn't put you off making jokes out of things in the future. laughter really is (ooh cliche!) the best medicine

 

I think the original poster and most everyone else is overreacting. If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

I'm in the Marines, and we're the biggest smart-ass bunch of people you'd ever want (or not to) meet. One casual day, my Staff Sergeant (now a Gunnery Sergeant), who is female, gave me an order to complete something. I replied, sarcastically, "Why?"

"Because I'm a Staff Sergeant and told you to do it!"

I replied, "well, you're a woman too, so that just kinda makes you just a sergeant" (the next rank down.) Then she socked me in the gut (playfully, mind you.)

That was just joking around and she knew it. If shit hit the fan and she ordered me to take cover or secure a building or whatnot, hell yes I would do that in an instant because she knows what she's talking about.

When I deal with other branches of the service, I have to listen to jokes like "MARINE defined: My Ass Really Is Navy Equipment" where I reply to the soldier "ARMY defined: Ain't Ready for the Marines Yet" and so on. It's lighthearted humour, and I don't think your grandfather is any sort of male chauvinist. Laugh and carry on.