"You can find sex anywhere"

I got that statement from the "have gf, no sex" thread. It's been my experience that women are often completely unaware that men cannot find sex anywhere without spending considerably both money and time/effort.

Many women have told me that "it's not true" that they can step out and get picked up because most guys that come up to them are "disgusting" (a female friend's pet terminology).

Hell, I would love to be in a situation in which all these "disgusting" women were coming up to me free of charge and I had the luxury of blowing them off until I came across someone I dig.

I resent the double-standard and I am humiliated by it. Admitedtly... It often feels a man is a product without demand, and he has to jump through hoops in order to have what women take for granted.

Other guys feel the same way? And a question for the female posters: If the guys that approach you are so disgusting, why not do more approaching yourselves so you can pick and choose?

I respect women who do that tremendously, though I understand that most bonehead guys would think of women who take initiative are "whores" or, worse, must have a disease.

I know there are exceptions to the rule, but male-female interaction in my social circles definitely comform to the picture I described.

 

I rather hat ethe assumption taht women get hit on all the time. I certainly dont. Im not outrageously hideous, not ridiculously beautiful either, sort of a step up from normal and into the cute end of the spectrum. How often do I get hit on? About once every four times I go to the bar, each bar event beign abotu 2-3 weeks apart. And maybe twice a year in random encounters beyond that.

Yes, there are women who can say no to those they arent interested in and still get hit on by others. But thats not th erule of all female experiences.

 

My heart bleeds for you, allonym. You get hit on ONLY once every four times you go to a bar??? Wow! Guess what men usually average?

Seems to me you get hit on in two months what most men will average in a lifetime. Seriously...

 

I concur. Sadly. In fact i have never been hit upon in a bar.

 

Think the average, ordinary man's average is that high?

Suppose if One sends that much time in bars...

 

Point was, that men assume women get hit on aaaaall the time, every time we go out or dress ncie and its simply not true, its a load of BS. Few women get hit on every single day, though there seems to be this giant assinine assumption taht thats how life is.

 

Is that the point?

Thought it was

Suppose it depends on the side of the fence...

 

The point of -my- post, not his, not the thread. Must I spell everything out round here, I know youre clever enough to have underestood what Iw as saying even if you chose to interpret it a differen tway.

 

Goodgawdalmighty...







































Do you Know me?
Cool?

 

Yes, but this has now evolved (devolved) into 'hunters' losing the will to hunt, and the 'prey' sitting back and watching us make asses of ourselves trying to gain their attentions! And for what?! Ultimately, the chance to do it over and over and over again...

NOT WORTH IT!

(this only applies to the vast majority, however... I've met plenty who are different!)

 

Guys, hitting on girls is not attractive. It just comes across as sleazy. Girls like a bit of a challenge - the hot/cute nerdy guy who is not making any obvious advances on you is goiing to get a lot of attention from the sexually strong women

 

Haha, well i'd LOVE to believe that Eechi! You obviously are a good example for other girls to follow. :sunglasse

 

Yea, well, I guess it depends on what you're looking for. You're talking about 'finding sex', which is not necessarily the same thing as finding a girlfriend or a partner. You seem to be talking about trying to get sex as the primary motive for connecting with a woman, rather than getting to know her, seeing if you're compatible, finding a partner. So, you think you have to spend money and effort to get something. So, rather than looking for a girl that will be your partner, your companion, you're lookng for sex. I see.

Well, if the primary focus you have as soon as you see a girl is to get her in bed, rather than to get to know her as a person, see if you're compatible, see if you have things in common, think alike, etc., then as far as I'm concerned you're doing things backwards, and there's little wonder you're having problems.

Girls have approached me, and I've approached them, and there's no stigma attached either way. And it does have a lot to do with the social circle that you're in, and the way those people think.

I'm not a prude and I certainly understand the attraction that you have when you initially see someone you like, including sexual attraction. But if the first thing you think about when you see a girl is how to get her in bed, rather than how to get to know her and to see if you get along with each other, then I can understand why you're having the problem you are.

 

Very rarely did I go out on a date with a guy that asked me, I always took the initiative. Aren't women doing the asking yet? In my experience men were very open to a woman doing the asking.

 

Hells yeah....

 

I believe people get "hit on" in large part because of attitude.
It's not all "looks"


This might explain why some get hit on less than others.

Attitude, and having the right kind....................

 

I don't think men or women can find sex anywhere. I think that is a figure of speech. You'd have to be in the right place at the right time, with the right frame of mind, and be attracted to those willing to have sex with you, and also communicate with that person in some way for you to both know that you'd like to have sex with each other.

But I truly think it's equal for men and women. Perhaps men aren't being 'hit on' as much as women, but the women are talking with their friends about the men and watching him to see what might happen. Or the other way around. If you want to have sex with someone go to a party, meet a girl who wants to have sex. There's bound to be one there.

 

You don't understand. I'm not doubting that there are women out there who want sex. Obviously there are. But that is exactly the point: if there are women out there who want to simply have sex, then why are man forced into a position as though they are the only ones who have a stake in meeting women?

What I doubt though, is that it is that simple... going to a party. I know it isn't for me and for no man I know. Actually, I lie. The only man I know who REALLY had sex happens to also be the only rich man I've known up close in my life: a New York real-estate mogul who was my boss for a little while. All other fly guys I met, bragged a lot and fucked very little. At least for my standards...

Yes, eventually you might find someone who simply wants to have a good time, but before that happens you're going to have to make an ass of yourself time and time again. THAT is my problem. And so I choose to be out of comission or just get a prostitute. That simple.

P.S.: I basically think the hunter... male-female nature... dadada... is bullshit. A friend of mine came back from Botswana surprised at how much more aggressive women are over there. It's cultural. It's macho, Christian bullshit to think that man are naturally "hunters" and women are "prey".

P.S. II: The stuff about getting to know women rather than simply going to bed with them: Why does everyone assume those are mutually exclusive? How about getting to know them and have sex around the same time? Too avant-garde for most people, apparently...

 

Thank the lord, MY time is NOW!! And I though a geek like me was just out of the picture altogether, thanks eechi, I'll try harder from now on

Ps. @insanejester - I like your point of view, one which I should have had when I was 19!

 

Hell I can even find any decent live music this Holiday weekend...