What is with women's 'Rape fantasies'

I think that shit is fucking weird I would never do it.

 

true. i started when i was 14 and have never regretted it. but i was always pretty mature and responsible.

 

as for rape fantasies themselves...what is being tied down and completely at the mercy of your partner if not a rape fantasy? i totally dig it.

 

i was maybe half of that (maturity).. at 13.

 

someone has already said that asking for a man to be rough in bed isn't at all a terrible "Rape Fantasy". And I agree. I love it when my man gets rough with me, and that is what i crave. perhaps men are too gentle nowadays. i don't know what the deal is with men. i think it is natureal for a woman to crave a man to be the alpha male type the one who is strong and capable. they are instinctually wired to come and get what they want and crave. so whats the big deal if a women craves what she is wired to crave? the man comes and gets her she isn't wired for some soft gentle man to come find her? why would she be? because in reality a soft gentle man wouldn't come get her, isn't that natural selection? the weak die 0ut? how wonderful it all comes together.
beautiful

 

I enjoy the fantasy, & occasional game, of being dominated. At other times, I will be the one to dominate. And, of course, most of the time we are equals. Playing with the balance of power can be fun. Being a bit rough can be fun. I like when my partner grabs me, throws me (in a way that won't hurt me) onto the bed, & "has his way with me". That is nothing like rape. That is being somewhat dominated by the man I love, with whom I regularly have sex, & who would stop if I seemed disinterested, without even waiting to see if I tell him to stop.

Do you realize how it sounds to a slightly off-balance male to hear that you fantasize about being raped? If you told this to an aquaintance, then two nights later he snuck into your house & raped you, would you actually feel justified in prosecuting him? After all, he was simply doing what he thought you were literally asking him to do (why admit such a fantasy if you didn't want him to help you fulfill it, right?). This isn't "she asked for it" because you wore skimpy clothes or were in the wrong part of town, this is "you asked for it" because you told the sick fuck that you fantasize about being raped!!!!!

Yes, you are hurting people. You are hurting all of the women who are raped by men who honestly believe that most women actually fantasize about being raped. But, hey, as long as it doesn't affect you directly, who cares, right?

 

Hmmm... We're talking about your partner, not some random male that you've never met & may not be the least bit physically attracted to, right?

Being tied down & completely at the mercy of your partner (presumably someone you trust) is a fantasy about bondage & domination. You consent to give power to that individual. You trust that your partner will not exceed your pain threshold. You trust that, if you say the "safe word", your partner will stop & let you up. That is so far from rape, I can't imagine anyone would put the two scenarios in relatively similar categories, much less claim that such a scenario IS a "rape fantasy".

 

i disagree. having an out from the rape fantasy makes it no less a rape fantasy, it all depends what's in your head when you close your eyes. bondage and domination is just a different word for it. but i don't think it makes it any less acceptable that you're fantasizing a rape. people will often take their worst fears and face them through visualization to lessen the power of it.

people are terrified of violence deaths, yet look at the enduring popularity of slasher and horror flicks. people dont' like to be afraid, but fear is one of the strongest human emotions. it seems fairly natural to react to strong fear with sexual desire. like it's an affirmation of life or something.

we don't criticize people for facing their phobia of flying through using a fake plane experience. for the truly phobic, it's an extremely emotionally powerful experience for them. i feel that rape fantasies are quite the same thing. this isn't to say that i would condone irresponsible sexual activities for those who are wanting to inact a rape fantasy. since at that point, it would be self-destructive behavior, which is outside of the average woman's healthy fascinations. it's actually rape, but giving a sort of permission, which takes the power away from the rapist. it's not what you're average healthy female would do.

 

Okay when I was 17 I was seeing this black girl *I'm white* for about a month. Things were going good for a while, and the sex was pretty great, she always wanted me to be really dominant, and I'm not really into S/M or dom/sub things, but she seemed into it so I played along, but she ended up just wanting it to be more and more aggresive, and for me to hold her down.

then one night she was telling me to choke her, hold her down and scream things like '****** ****' at her. I was really uncomforatable with that, I couldn't do it, I avoided her after that and broke things off by phone. I probably could have handled things better in retrospect, but I was just so freaked out by it. I usually love girls having fantisies that I can play out... I just couldn't hang. The worst thing was that I felt terrible about breaking it off like that, she was a really cool girl, she was beautiful. It was the first time since kindergarten that I had my mind completly off girls for a few weeks. I guess I felt kinda inadequate not being able to give her what she wanted... but it still makes me shudder just to talk about it.

Trust me, I really feel for your buddy. I have no idea of the psychology behind it, but I hope he handles things better then I did. I should have just been a man about it and told her I was not freaking comforatable with it, I guess I've matured some since then, and the best advice I can give your friend is not to do anything he feels uncomforatable with, and to let her know his boundaries.

 

Lodiu, you were asked to do something in bed that you were totally uncomfortable with. You said no and didn't do it. That is TOTALLY acceptable. I don't think anyone would fault a womyn for breaking things off with a man who wanted something she was not happy with in bed, and neither should YOU be faulted. You have a right to do what you are comfortable in bed, and not be coerced into things which make you feel bad.

Breaking it off was probably the only thing you could have done. Don't feel bad about it.

 

Well, I don't have a rape fantasy. I think this is kinda disgusting. I guess rough sex is different, but I don't feel comfortable doing it like this. Sex to me is about two people loving each other. Everyone has their fantasies, of course. I have mine, but it's for sure, nothing similar to a rape.

Love,
Louise.

 

I can sort of understand though, now. While I wouldn't rape a girl, the thought had crossed my mind upon looking at some girl that I would love to "Fuck this girl" even if I don't know her... its a thrill imagining the power, I guess. I wouldn't do it, but I can see how it would develop into a fantasy.

I find it interesting though how men develop to want to dominate and women sometimes develop to want to be subjugated.

btw, I spotted a womyn thing going on somewhere, wtf is that, a women's lib thing?