Parents....

Discussion in 'Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans, etc.' started by Lanze, Aug 24, 2006.

  1. Lanze

    Lanze Member

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    So my mom just used the word "faggot" over and over again after I told her to stop the first time she decided to say it over and over again. and then she said your talking to weirdos online who are convincing you to be gay, and that gay guys are ugly and cant get a girl so they decide to be gay.

    How can I live with this?
     
  2. Salex

    Salex Member

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    Wow, that's pritty harsh... It's times like these where I feel bad... I am still in the closet, but I know my parents would accept me completely (though I think they already know anyway).... but the thing about parents is you always have them, and they tower over you, but you only have to put up with them for 18 years....

    After 18, you become an adult in the eyes of the government, and are freed of them, then, near 20-30 years later, it will be you're parents are in need of you're help, and you will look back on these days and wonder weither you should or not, (though I'm sure you'll forgive them for thier ignorance, and blame it on thier upbringing, hoping this and the next generations will be more accepting of people, or whatever).

    So, I guess you'll just have to live it out , poor Lanze :( , but I hope that either revelation hits them, or time flys by, either way, try to see it as... and experience, just another thing to check off on you're way to you're goals.
     
  3. erzebet1961

    erzebet1961 Senior Member

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    Being a parent of a bi-sexual son, I can tell you that maybe your moms just afraid and doesnt know how to handle it. She could be afraid of how people are going to treat you, and that maybe it was something she did in raising you, so, maybe if you pick a time when she is a bit calmer and start off by letting her know that it wasnt anything that she did..that you love her..and your always the same little boy she raised, it will be ok. peace to you, sister erzebet
     
  4. KewlDewd66

    KewlDewd66 Member

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    Dude, life is all about asking that very same question several times every day.

    Your mom is having a very hard time accepting the fact that you are gay. Using that 'famous faggot, faggot, faggot' argument all over again does not really help anyone and is a true expression of lack of power and understanding on her side.

    Shrug with your shoulders, say 'whatever' and carry on with your life.

    KD
     
  5. whereami

    whereami Member

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    Maybe you should kill her.
     
  6. amp7325

    amp7325 Visitor

    :( All I can really say is that I hope it gets better, and that I'm here if you need to talk.
     
  7. txbarefooter

    txbarefooter Senior Member

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    It does sound like your mom is having a hard time adjusting to your being gay. as others have said, give her time to calm down and calmly discuss it with her.
     
  8. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    I take it this is new info to her, that you are gay?
    It's painful to hear that she is so disparaging. I can only imagine how bad it must be to be the target.

    as for gay guys are ugly and cannot get a girl, look at all the jokes about there are two perfect men and they are together in our culture!

    sit down with her and aks whay it really matters to her. If you were straight she would n't pick your parteners (let's hope). What does she think will happen: AIDS? no grandkids? ostracization? discrimination? violence against you? her friends will stop talking to her?
    perhaps she needs to mourn unacknowledged expectations. She could do that without being hateful and derogatory.

    have you connected with PFLAG? maybe she needs some online support, too.
     
  9. Austin_09

    Austin_09 Member

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    aww man that really sucks... This is the reason why I haven't told my parents. I don't think my mom would act like that I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be very happy with me... I'm affraid she'll treat me differently than she does now. I want people to know.. but I just don't want anything to change. I really feel for you.
     
  10. Lanze

    Lanze Member

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    Okay so now I was watching this youtube video with beautiful thing and she told me "Why are you watching those videos? They brainwash you into being gay." Ridiculous, ive decided not to respond to any of her ignorance and just continue watching what i want.
     
  11. SageDreamer

    SageDreamer Senior Member

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    If anyone has been brainwashed, it's your mother.
     
  12. bkcmar

    bkcmar keep those feet bare

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    Lanze your mother's behavior is horrific. Hopefully she will come around. Seek out your local gay community center for support. Continue to consult online assistance. Also seek out PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). This is a wonderful organization. There you will have the opportunities to meet other gay youth, and accepting parents.

    Good luck
     
  13. Lanze

    Lanze Member

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    Well i dont think shes open enough to do anything with p flag...she wants me to see a psychiatrist now, honest a god..if i actually went im pretty sure they would recommend p flag stuff or something anyways, I think shes the one who needs to see a psychiatrist.
     

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