self sabotage

sometimes i think im really against myself. i always tell myself ill take opportunities if they come by and then when they do i turn my back on the, and regret it later.

for instance i had an opportunity laid out to me in a silver platter today and i turned it down and i dont know why!? im holding myself back... im going to try and see if i can somehow get the opportunity back but i think its too late..

oh well i guess i will learn.. hopefully...

 

Welcome ot my life. Self destructino is the best past time ever. Erm..

 

uh huh, good luck getting it back if it's possible.

 

Hmm, maybe fear of failure? Or fear of doing too well or having to let other things go? Who knows really but yeah I've had times like that myself.

 

'all that glitters is not gold'

perhaps silver in this case?

 

yeh i had my reasons for saying no... i didnt really think about it all though. it would have been good exposure. im still trying to work out what i want to do with my life. im pretty sure i missed that opportunity but all is not lost yet. i just have to put myself out there more. maybe ive learnt my lesson.

see its always kind of been my (stupid) dream that i wanted to be a singer, actor, dancer. but every chance i get with that i always ruin it. i think its partly fear of failure.... i dont see myself as others do and im not sure i have what it takes so i guess thats bound to fail with that attitude anyway

 

There will be more chances, if this is what you truly want. Even if you don't figure it out quite yet, when you do you'll find a way to get that.

I have also had the acting/dancing dream. And I put it on the back burner for a long time, telling myself it was silly. But recently it came up again, and I got all these opportunities, and I ruined most of them. But in my plans, when I feel capable of dealing with them, and not ruining them, I have a starting place and there is one opportunity that I'm not letting go. I"m just not ready for it right now.

 

I'm like that too sometimes, I look back and regret not taking better advantage of opportunities that came to me... oh well, it falls under the category of "you live, you learn".

 

Hey you up there - what's w/the line under your nic?

*checks out open season dates/ bag limits/ restrictions*

 

trophy girlfriend?

 

yep

have to keep an eye on ya - you're good bout changing things...

 

hehe careful you dont miss anything..

I was actually donned with that title the other day, i was flattered. :X

 

suspected as much on all the above.
you seem to be one of the few that 'Trophy' fits... well

currently in a blue phase?
prolly never guess my reaction, eh... *c*

 

well im always "blue" so to speak. you're reaction would be sure to make me smile i am actually surprised that people look up to me and to us so much. i never think of myself as setting an ideal for anything

 

never have understood why you Know some of the things you Know.

someone doesn't give herself enough credit.
that's good in some ways yet not in others.
chances are she'll eventually reach a balance/ comfort level... or so the theory goes!

 

I know things because i listen, observe, and remember... I think it's hard for people to see themselves as others do. and of course it's difficult, for any person there will be people who see them in all forms of extremities and how do you decide what to believe? looking at it that way, it really doesn't then matter what anyone else thinks. only your opinion of yourself matters. as for myself, there are some things i am sure of. but i like to keep an open mind about the rest. i know there are certain people i am glad im not like and never will be like.
ive got the flu at the moment so im feeling blue, which is appropriate. i tamper with my eye colour alot, but they are normally that colour, but i think you already know that.

 

observant open minds are quite beneficial as well as few and far in between.

sorry to hear of the flu's visit - hope it leaves soon _______ eyes.
maybe this'll provide a distraction... or at least a slight smile knowing where the tune's currently firmly entrenched...

Almost cut my hair, it happened just the other day.
It's getting’ kinda long, I coulda said it wasn't in my way.
But I didn't and I wonder why, I feel like letting my freak flag fly,
cause I feel like I owe it to someone.

Must be because I had the flu' for Christmas and I'm not feeling up to par.
It increases my paranoia, like looking at my mirror and seeing a police car.
But I'm not giving in an inch to fear cause I missed myself this year.
I feel like I owe it to someone.

When I finally get myself together, I'm going to get down in that sunny southern weather.
And I find a place inside to laugh, separate the wheat from the chaff.
I feel like I owe it to someone.
--CSN (one of 'em or a combo)

 

yeah I always get all paranoid of my self concious
I don't trust that bastard at all

 

ruski,

You have to decide If you want to be a winner or a loser.

Winners take chances, losers allow opportunities to pass them by for fear of failure.

What do you want to be ?





Hotwater

 

i just want to be happy hotwater