Gggrrr, I just have to rant somewhere & tell someone this because my family are going crazy, this is going to be a long one! My sister when she was 17 got pregnant by her then boyfriend, she decided to keep it & he stood by her, not because he loved her & wanted to but because he thought it the right thing to do. I have known him for a long time & he has helped me out a lot. I knew that he was going out & shagging other people behind my sisters back & in a way I think she knew too but she turned a blind eye to it. He has always been awful with money & was made bankrupt at 18, my sister always took charge of the finances but he is one of those people who has a way with words & can get owt out of you. He has always been a big drinker & they got into a lot of debt because he would go & drink the money away. On a weekend when I was younger I used to go & stop at their house to look after my two nephews so she could go out with her friends. To cut a long story a bit shorter my sister finally faced up to what her husband (yes they stupidly got married) was doing & she started doing the same, going out with other blokes. I was rather disappointed in her but it’s her life. They eventually split up & her husband started using crack. I stopped looking after my nephews because I felt my sister was expecting me to baby sit all the time & I had started to grow up myself at this point & I wanted to do my own thing live my own life. I had looked after them nearly every weekend for 5 years & I felt it time she slowed down too. I can’t say she is the best mum in the world, she does seem more interested in going out then doing stuff with her kids. My nephew’s heads are rather screwed up & not just because of their mum & dad. My sister went out with a other bloke after she split up with her husband, she went out with him for two years & he was a nasty piece of work & wasn’t very nice to my nephews. Now she’s split up with him & she just seems to be slagging about & her ex husband is with another lass every week infront of my nephews. He’s still on the crack & he had another partner who’s just had a baby to him but he is still seeing other women & is doing it in front of my nephews. He owes lodes of people money, he owns drug dealers, he owes most of the village we live in, no one likes him. He owns my sister money, he’s never paid a single penny towards the kids, he’s even let them walk around in trainers that have holes in. my sister is struggling tbh, she is having to rent a house out which is priced way over the odds, she’s had to sell her car & she isn’t going out as much, once a month or so. He always manages to get money out of her, he has a gift of making people believe what he says. He owes money to my other sister who sold her car to him but he never gave her the money & he has even owed money to me. A few months or so after he split up with my sister he was high on crack & he fell over a wall & broke his back. We all rallied around him to help him & he was very lucky that he didn’t paralyse himself. A couple of months after his accident I was due to go on holiday with my partner, right at the last minute my partner couldn’t go because he didn’t realise his passport had run out & couldn’t get a replacement in time. My brother-in-law was the only person who could go there & then as he wasn’t working. I thought it would be a good time to get him off the crack. I never asked him for any money towards the holiday or anything. While we were over there I hid the travellers cheques from him, we still spent all the money pretty quick, even though I had the travellers cheques, once it was changed to money he seemed to take charge of it & it got spent rather quick. He managed to get hold of my bank card & unknown to me to took lodes of money out of my bank & got me into a lot of debt with my bank. I didn’t realise until I got home what had happened & by then lots of interest had been charged to my account. He kept saying to me that he would pay me back but I just left it, I couldn’t be bothered to chase after him when I knew that they would be all false promises so I just put the experience down to that, a learning experience & never ever lend him anything again. My partner on the other hand wanted to kill him, not literally but he wanted to hurt him. I’ve not had anything to do with him for three years now, I see him every now & again when he picks the kids up or when he tries to get money out of me but he never does. My sister has only just learnt now not to lend him money. He’s still on the crack & he owes lots of money to drug dealers & stuff. The thing is, I can cope with him borrowing money off us adults because it’s up to us whether we give it him & whether we believe him & its our own mistake. But he’s been stealing stuff from my nephews. My dad took my nephews camping & the youngest one told my dad that my b-I-l had taken his electric guitar & my nephew is really upset about it. When I was out shopping on Saturday I saw a cheap second hand electric guitar & bought it. I phoned my sister up & told her & she asked if I had got an amp too. I thought that my b-I-l had only took the guitar but he has took both electric guitars, the acoustic guitar & all the amp stuff too so now my nephews cant play the one I bought them. I phoned my b-I-l up & had a right go at him on the phone & he said its nothing to do with me or my dad & to keep our noses out. We are a very close family & help each other & stick by each other no matter what so it is to do with us no matter what he thinks. My partner still wants to go & kill him & he is getting mad at him for taking his own kids stuff. I had a bit of a go at my sister too for letting him in the house but he kinda has her over a barrel because she will drop the kids off at his house on the day he is suppose to have them. He will then bring the kids back down to her house saying he cant stop there because he doesn’t have any food to give them. She has to let him say there with them because he’ll come right before she has to leave for work. My brother looked after them this weekend while my sister was working (she is a nurse) & he has now noticed more stuff that has gone missing like two portable DVD players. We dernt tell my sister because she will go mad. My partner keeps threatening to go up & beat him but I’ve persuaded him not too because if violence was the answer my dad would have done it already. If he did go & beat him my dad would fall out with my partner which would cause a lot of problems which we don’t need. My nephews would fall out with him because he beats their dad & they don’t understand what their dad is doing wrong. Its took along time for my nephews to trust my partner even though we have been together for 6 years nearly. Also if he did beat him my b-I-l would take the beating & then call the cops on my partner, so for now I have persuaded him not too. We just don’t know how to stop the no conchus (don’t know how to spell it but I mean he dosent feel guilt) crack addict stealing from his own kids, they are only 8 & 10y/o. it is disgusting, I’m just hoping one of these drug dealers he owns money too does something to him. Ok now I have got that out of my system, rant over.
CJ: Hey, Bear? Big Bear, that's you? Hey, you still from the 'hood, homie, or what? B DUP: Nah, the only thing Bear give a fuck about is smoking and keeping my house clean. Ain't that right, Big Bear? BIG BEAR: Hell yeah. B DUP: Hell yeah, what? BIG BEAR: Hell, yeah, sir! B DUP: Now go make that mother-fucking toilet sparkle.
Way I see it, this dickhead of a "man" has been a cheating, lying, stealing crack head for some time now. Why does your sister still let him around the kids? Why hasn't she gotten a restraining order against him? And why, oh why does your family still give 2 cents about his rotten ass? If anyone did a quarter of that shit you've listed to someone in my family, someone I love, I would have him run out of town.. but you all take him on vaction?! And then act suprised when he steals from you? Thats like being surprised when a venomous snake bites you! Its a snake... of course it is going to bite you! Seriously... i realize he donated the sperm that resulted in the creation of your nephews, but that doesn't make him a Father! His actions and exisitance are just messing those kids up. Just write the idiot off and thats that.
I have known this bloke a lot longer than my sister, & in a way I feel responsible for getting them together. Even though he cheated on her lodes & could be quite nasty at times as soon as she started doing the same he didn’t like it & sort of realised what a knob he had been towards her. I think its then that he realised that he loved her but it was too late. When she first got with him in those early years she was neive & would bend over backwards to his every whim but he has made her in to what she is today. All the crap he put her through in the 10 years they were together has made her a very strong resilient person. It was because of their split & him realising that he loved her so much & he had lost her that he turned to crack. Even though he could be horrible to my sister at times he has helped her a lot, he helped put her through nursing school & she has helped him by covering for him for many things, helping him with his work & driving him all over. He has helped me a lot over the years, listening to me, helping me with problems, giving advise & helping me get jobs. I have helped them a lot too, while my sister was at nursing school I would look after my nephews so she didn’t have to pay for childcare, took them to nursery & school. Looked after them while they went out clubbing & for meals on a weekend & I never asked for any money, just to be fed. I would also listen to them when they had problems giving what little advise I could give to them both & I also stood between them while they were arguing to stop it getting out of hand. We’ve all had some good times together its not all been bad but I never agreed with him for seeing people behind her back & I thought she was stupid for sticking by him when she knew deep down what he was doing. Just before he broke his back he had gotten a really good job, we thought he had come off the crack & he was getting himself together. I know he was trying to sort himself out so he could try & win my sister back. I thought the holiday would do him good. My other sister was taking us to the airport & we were waiting for him to turn up at her house with his bags. When he got in the car I realised that he had smoked some crack that day, I could see it with his eyes. I trusted him & felt safe with him, I thought he would know better than to steel from me but I was wrong. I learnt a lesson from all that & its made me a better person. I was angry about the money at first but like I said it has made me a better person because I learnt a lot of lessons from it, I believe everything happens for a reason & I went through this experience for a reason. Not all snakes are going to bit you, snakes only bit when they feel threatened & then they normally give you plenty of warning they don’t just bit for no reasons. This guy is very clever, he has had very good jobs nearly all his life, he gained the trust of many people & had the gift of the gab. He could talk his way out of anything & get you to do a lot for him but when you let someone down time & time again that gift starts to run out & people become wise to it. I learnt that after I came back off the holiday with him. I told my sister’s, I warned them & they didn’t listen, it is only now that they are saying that I was right & they wished that had listed earlier. We can’t get a restraining order on him, it doesn’t work like that in the UK. He has got have cause a threat towards my sister before they can actually do anything & even then they would still have to let him see his kids, crack addict or not. Also its not fair to the kids, it doesn’t matter what he is he is still there dad & they wouldn’t understand if they weren’t allowed to see there dad again. They would blame my sister & it would cause more problems that they’re all ready are. When they are old enough to see for themselves & realise what there dad is like & what he has done then they will make there own choices but until then its not fair on them to just stop them seeing there dad. Just aslong as he doesn’t do the drug around them which he never has to our knowledge. But its not good that they see him with a different girl every other week, what kind of impression does that give to them, I don’t agree with that. We don’t give 2 cents about him anymore, I knew he was only using crack to block out the pain of loosing my sister, I talked to him about it a lot & I’m not going to lie I have used drugs. Only on a recreational basis though, you know a few joints on a weekend, when I go out clubbing every now & again I may have a bit of coke or a pill, but I have never had crack & never would. He felt comfortable talking to me & I tried to help him all I could to realise that drugs weren’t the answer. But there is only so much you can do for a person…..Once they shit on you in my book then that’s the end of you being nice & helping them.
get his ass thrown in jail. dont be afriad to step up. i wish i had when my brother decided to be an asshole & slam heroin around his kids.
yeah, everytime something shows up missing, file a police report. Turn him in, it won't be long before they get enough shit on him to land his ass in jail. you're making excuses for him. Being a crack head doesn't excuse his behavior, and losing your sister doesn't excuse his crack addiction. It's time you saw through the excuses and realized what a piece of shit this person really is. Call the law on him every time he does something wrong. I don't know what the child custody laws are like in the UK, but your sister should be talking with her lawyer about getting sole custody of the kids. That doesn't mean completely cutting him out of their lives, but it is for their own good. Document everything. Every time he brings the kids back when he's supposed to have them, what he says, what he does. Write it all down and share it all with the cops.
hi nice to meet you this is my first post here . there is a lot of material here. usually is about dirtbags. I would think many folks in these forums have been faced with similar probs. dealing with alcoholic ,drug addicted people is pretty common funny how these are kinda textbook actions andit did not matter age or even country 1,000 of mls away and the same tricks being pulled by another "addict" . I surely can not critisize him because i,m an alcoholic with 12 yrs sobriety and it is easy for me to slip into that morbid mess. your post made cry because I thinking about it being written about me and my 8yr old daughter. has this man been to treatment??? what are the social services available , ? I mean tell this very tale to a government social worker , stealing is illegal everywhere I totally agree with what the previous 2 ladys said ,do just that report these thefts to the law ..period do it..don,y tell your sister just do it. without the sympathy for him please understand though this is an addiction and he will do what is neccessary to full fill his needs first. ALWAYS. NO EXCEPTIONS . I have a nephew that is not allowed on my property that is the way it is. he stole grandmas christmas money for all the other kids to buy dope??? I understand not getting a protection order from the police BUT when there is children involved a social agency will help , he is a threat to the kids in a lot of ways and will soon have them stealing for him for HIS habit. would he hurt someone to fill his needs ????? he does not know that himself ,YET. it is the control before it gets that far that is needed. I do understand how dificult this is I actually had this problem with my own wife this yr .only worse she is not on drugs but had some serious mental issues and was truly manic and very un predictable BUT without her hurting herself ot someone else it was impossible for me to get a restraining order for her and my daughter . very catch 22 very scary and she is still not properly diagnosed so it is still scary for me?? "the system" it is amazing if it were me and any alcohol were involved they would hang me. but remember addiction is a disease. find someone to listen. stealing is a crime . call the police a lot using his name good idea. peace Rick
