"Won't you stay, just a little bit longer?" - a death.

At this point I don't really know what to say, or for that matter do, so I'll just get right to the story.

My uncle died on Thursday. He was 62. He had cancer for 4 years; actually he had it for one then it went away & in November of '05 it came back. It was gastric (sp?) cancer. When it returned it was still the same kind, but the tumors were in his lungs. My Aunt is 56 & she was there. We were all there. He had just recently started a second or third session of chemo this time around & it was a different kind. They told him he was more prone to heart attacks. I think that is what happpened, but no one really wants to find out.

He was in the bathroom when it happened. He told her he couldn't breathe & that they better go to the hospital. I came over instantly. We think he might have already been dead when the paramedics took him out of his home. I don't think they want people having the memory of their loved one dying in their own home.

My uncle, or just Robert as I called him was different. He was fully prepared to die & he tried to prepare everyone else, esp. my Aunt. He was my dad's brother. He was vegan until the second time the cancer came, then he started eating a little more dairy. He had been vegan for over 30 years. He was like me in many ways: being vegan, painting with acryllics, his political & religious ideological outlook, he loves animals, same music tastes, he had depression. My favorite part about him was he believed in me & he always told it like it was. He was in many ways, my second father. They had recently moved near me & my parents. Well, they'd almost lived her for 2 years.

My aunt of course, is taking it the worst. But I'll wait to talk about that.

I'm not here to get some to say sorry; take pity, or to get counseling. I don't mean to seem emotional or anything, I just need somewhere to vent.

No one has to respond at all. I just want this to be a place for me to be able to write because I can't talk to anyone I know more than I already have. I'll write more later. I just miss him.

 

Being stuck with cancer absolutely sucks, I've had a few people in my family suffer from various kinds of cancer and few survived it.

I'm very sorry to hear about your uncle.

 

I'm glad everyone is gone. All the family went home. They still haven't figured out the ashes. Robert wanted everything simple. He said he wanted the cheapest box possible. We had kinda a memorial thing. We just talked about our memories, trying to be positive. He didn't want a bunch of mourning. I saw my dad cry for the first time ever thinking about his artwork.

 

<3

 

i'm doing a painting now. my uncle was a painter. he always loved my style. it's of him of course. i'll post the finished product.

 

but not tonight. tonight i feel really sad.

in an early unrelated post i said i was at a friend's. i heard janis' "summertime" * it all just came back.

it's weird being in their house. i feel he's there. i still feel like i'm going crazy. i cried for the first time in a long time. i miss him & i know he hates to see me like this.

i never mentioned how blue his eyes looked, when they carried him out. they were goregous as always.

 

Well it's sad but be glad you knew him. He sounds like he was an interesting and strong person.

Be inspired, you'll get better one day!!