Ever try keeping a relationship a secret?

anyone? any advice lol

 

OMG...that is really hard to do...how important is it that it stay a secret??

 

ha as important as stayin together seems to be lol
its that or nothin which is a major bummer.

 

It is nearly impossible to do if you both live in the same town..do her friends know yours..what about family members ?

 

my friends and family are allowed to know its hers that cant know, they have a problem with me lol well her family do anyways

 

Sometimes it really sucks when it's "all or nothing"..

 

Is there anyway you could maybe sit down with one of her family mambers and just try to tell them..verry calmly..how much you love her...?

 

nope, her family all dislike me that much because i suffer from depression. They think i will top myself if we broke up again which is the biggest hunk of bullshit ive ever heard lol

 

i wish it was that simple, it seems if we get together even after 6 months of uni lol her family will be disappointed, i guess i have to keep it a secret for the whole duration.

 

i wish i could give up so easily but my feelings are with her, this situation sucks but i think it will hurt more to leave it at the moment, maybe things will change i dont know

 

it's a tough one. i think its gonna have a to be a time can only tell thing.

 

maybe her family thinks the depression etc will never go away and jst cause her havoc the whole time they're 2gether coz they're narrow minded fucks

 

the family that is.... not the couple

 

How can your relationship grow and be a good one if she is denying she is even having one with you?
What we think we create. So your going around and in love and she is going around and coming from fear and not able to be honest about who she is in love with?
I'm sure she has heard that if she is with you they will disown her. Which means they think they own her. No one owns anyone but sadly most people will say they will do anything to be with you but the fear of losing her family in the end will win out over being with you.
So she is being controlled by her family and that always ends in crap anyway.
Sounds like she is not her own person and your not coming from too good place either if this is what you think you deserve.
When a person is really IN LOVE with you-nothing stops them from being with you.
They pack up their shit and are on their way to whom they are in love with.
What are you getting out of the relationship?

 

Yeah, I have, and it sucks ass majorly. Its so not worth it, in mybook. Why cant she come clean with them? Imean, whatre they gonna do, ground her? How old is she? Does she work yet? If shes old enough she can surely move out and support herself, or offer to pay rent and be considered an independent from them and their rules (well, treated as any renter/boarder would). She needs to grow a fucking backbone.

 

thanx guys, ur supports been great. thanx natz narrow minded fucks thats strong insult lol

 

I always tried to keep all of my relationships secret, it's more difficult if you live in the same town with the person you're trying to keep the secret from, but even then it's still difficult.

If she can't decide for herself to be honest and open, tell her how much you don't want to try to keep it secret, tell her it's silly, she will probably be very thankful when she finally wakes up and gets the courage to be who she is, unapologetically.

And while I see how bad it is on your side of the equation, I see how she feels as well, but she's gonna have to get over it eventually. It is not her family's relationship, it's hers, she needs to learn that. I didn't learn that until I really fell in love, and I just didn't care what my family/friends might think anymore.

 

Well, the problem seems to truly lie within her parents... Do they just not understand depression? Do they see you as "crazy"? Because if that's the case, then it's your girl's job to explain to them that they're wrong. Prove to her (deranged) parents that there is nothing wrong with her being with you. I could understand them having a problem if you were hurting her or were seriously insane, but obviously that isn't the case. It's better if you let them know now because if they find out in another way besides through their daughter, the consequences will be worse.

 

I don't keep a secret from anybody, unless they tell me to. So I guess if I met someone who wanted to keep our relationship a secret, it would depend on the reason why but most likely I wouldn't.