(sorry for spamming, I originally posted this in random thoughts, but I realized it will fit better here) I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself and I'm not trying to get attention, I jut want to share my feelings and get whatever advice and feedback you guys want to give me. It's been about three years since the only serious relationship of my life ended, since then the closest I've come to romance was a week-long fling I had with a girl in Germany about a year and a half ago. It was lots of fun, but it was really just a physical thing, we didn't really connect and after it was over it was over for good, we parted on good terms, but with an unspoken agreement that our paths would never cross again. There have been a couple of ladies I've had a crush on since then, but nothing ever came of it, most of the time I'm simply alone, and most of the time I'm perfectly happy with that. But sometimes I get lonely. Today I'm lonely. Last night I had a dream I was with a beautiful woman, I've dreamt about her before, and every time I dream of her we are in love, but I don't recognise her from real life. The dream started off as a dreamy adventure involving the girl, a big hairy guy, a van, a mouse and a couple of guns. The big guy tried to kill me but I pulled a gun on him and made him go away, leaving the girl and me by an abandoned house. It was the end of the world or something because we were the only three people in the world it seemed. After I ran the big guy off we went in the old house, there was no electricity, the house was lit by sunlight through dusty windows. I found a bottle of rum and me and the girl had a little, and we just sat and talked, and ended up holding each other and kissing. There was no sex, it wasn't what we really wanted just then, we just wanted to hold each other and feel the love. We were on the floor about to kiss when I woke up. It was so wonderfull, I felt like I was really in love, that I had found my soul-mate, and then I woke up and it was all gone, just a fading dream-memory. It left me with the most profound lonliness I have felt since I broke up with my high-school sweetheart three years ago. Now all I can think of right now is finding this girl in real life, but I know that I won't find her by going around trying to get laid. I don't want sex, I want love, so I just have to wait until I meet the right girl. Oh well, the lonliness will fade in a day or two, and I will eventually meet this woman of my dreams. I just hope that when I do meet her I will recognise her and she will recognise me and I won't chicken out and run away like I usually do when I meet an attractive woman. 'O woe is me. Oh well, life goes on, in the meantime, I'll write the story of my dream, it was so lovely and lyrical, it could make a TV movie of the week.
I always like to think that somewhere out there there is a man who is thinking of me and I am thinking of him even though we have never ment. I do beileve in soul mates, and one day you will find yours, love comes when you least expect it!
whenever i feel like that i listen to jeffery lewis' "chelsea hotel oral sex song" it's so nice. *kisses* Drew
I hear your pain brother..Honestly all I say is "woe as me"..woe is me an d such. I think I have the same pain as you..I have this deep,wretched misery. I am lonesome,I had this very very very good friend once,and I made the mistake of being his woman.Then the friendship was ruined,'cause i loved him madly..and after 3 years he didnt want me no more.So I quit him,and then he called me back again..And I mistook it for love see..? And that time,he didnt want me back anymore. And I havn't found a man,like him since.Not even a friend,I can say I have no friends..not one.At all.Not even aqaintainces or a lover.. You are not alone man.If at all,we are alone,you and me..there 'aint nobody who can have pain this way..
Jesus...I apologize...that girl in the dream was me! I should have told you! I admit, I snuck into your dreams and made you fall in love with me! All joking aside...I know what you're going through. But we all have paths...and eventually yours will cross with someone special's. Everything always works out in the end...Keep smiling!
