ok, thought we were good to go, but we're not

well, I dropped Leane off at daycare on Friday, and all was well. She was happy as a clam playing with the other kids.
But today, she did nothing but fuss, apparently. The care provider said that we have to stop holding her at home cuz she couldn't put her down for more than a few seconds or she would scream.
Now, I feel like I'm a total failure at AP, since all your kids are just fine leaving you. apparently I royally fucked up.
It would be nice if I could change dayhomes and find one who wears slings, etc, but there is a sever shortage of homes, and I won't even start with the hell I had to go through finding this place. There is actually a 3 year waiting list in the Edmonton and there are women around here who just found out that they are pregnant and just already getting themselves on a waiting list.
What the hell am I supposed to do?
Ugh, I had a bad day at school today (it was my first day) and this just made me soooooo much more stressed out.
So, this is really the wrong place to be asking this, but what should I do to help her be a little more confident when I leave her there?
She also had a really hard time going to bed last night....she usually goes to bed at 9:30, last night she was up till 2am while we were unpacking. Then I woke her up at 7am this morning. So maybe that's why she's fussy and I'm freaking out and yeah......

 

This is Holly, not Brian....but you can make it a game. Set her in front of the front door of your apartment, say bye bye in a funny voice and go through the door. Close it for a second so she can't see you, and then come back and say HI in a big funny voice. As she gets the idea, close the door for longer and longer.

 

First, you did no such thing as royally fuck up. That is not what happened. She's not even a year old. She's just a baby, she has no idea that you dropping her off and will be back at the end of the day. She's just going to need an adjustment time. I do NOT think you need to hold her less at home. In fact, I'd hold her more, give her a nice healthy dose of AP whenever you can and, in time, she'll be the confident, independent child you want her to be.

I missed the reasoning as to why she's in a day home. I gathered that your going to school and I know you just moved. Are you working too? Is there a way to change your schedule so that maybe you could go to school at night so she can be home with you, then with hub at night?

 

sadily, theres no night classes, so i have to be there during the day
holly~i actually have tried that. Littlerally the SECOND I leave her sight, she screams. I used to play that game in the shower all the time while she sat on the floor. Yeah, she wasn't happy. But I'll keep trying, though.
Thanks for all the help so far
I'll hold her more at home...that's what I thought I should do in the first place

 

yay! follow your instincts

 

They actually told you to STOP holding her? I'd find a different day home.
Maybe she doesn't like the people that are watching her? Are there kids there being mean to her and you maybe not being told about it? My mom said that when she left us with 2 out of our 3 baby sitters, we threw a fit....and she later found out that the caregiver was being mean to us. (We were 2 and 3). The last baby sitter we had was totally great....and we never cried but the first day when mom dropped us off to her. She was our daycare until we were about 8 and 9.
Anyway, you didn't royally fuck up....it sounds like she's TOTALLY in love with you and that's the way it should be.

 

She's not even a year old yet, of course she wants to be held. She's in a new environment with strangers and until she gets used to it, she wants to feel safe and comforted. This is not your fault, or a problem that you need to solve. This is something that the people at the Day Care Center should already know how to deal with.

 

I mean, I do kinda understand why she said that it is hard to hold her all the time. There's only one of her and 5 kids and Leane is stinkin heavy. I can't even hold her for more than 5 minutes at a time while standing up.
Leane does actually like her. Every day that I drop her off, she's reaching out for her, giggling and she cuddles up to her every time she takes her. So it's not that. She hasn't been acting any differently and is still her upbeat, giggly self when we come to get her and all night at home. She doesn't appear to have any signs of neglect or abuse. Leane just likes to be held. Plain and simple. I just wish that there was another way that everyone could be happy. I would suggest a sling, but even I can hardly wear that thing anymore. Like I said, Leane is freakin huge! lol

 

If you never ever put her down then I could see them saying it was a problem. It doesn't sound like that is the case here. My guess would be she is going through a slight security issue with the move and all. Being tired on top of it most definately doesn't help. Just try to get her in bed earlier and give her some time to adjust to her new surroundings. She probably will be clingy until she feels "settled". It is too bad that the dayhome is acting like it is your fault, that is not the case. If the dayhome can't provide a little leeway here you may have to look elsewhere though I know it is hard to find good providers.