it's VERY weird. don't know if you feel the same way about it was me, but it's fucking weird and fucking confusing. I know I won't be able to sleep. it's really not that simple. Alas. What's weirdest is that you can't really... you can't really describe it even to yourself. You have an inkling to what it is, a general direction but can you be sure about it anytime? don't think so, personally. How you feel, how the other acts... both great mysteries really. Unclear... Though maybe it's a good thing it's not clear. Maybe if it were clear you would want it not to be. I guess you WOULD understand... love is such a confusing emotion, hate for instance is way way way simpler. just hate, you know. love is so much more complicated and complicating. I'm very sure I'm not alone here. You know, you don't even know if you're right. but you fear you are. I do. I worry much. I take things personally. I bruise easily and for all the wrong reasons, I sometimes think. It was so suddenly... the blink of an eye. Sudden equals scary. Writings on the walls, on people's faces, in their voices, their whole communication system. First sign of the sword of Damocles? Of course you hope it's temporal. Of course you hope it's not... it doesn't mean anything in the long run. I mean... it's external. Some unknown source, or a known source, just not YOUR source. How can you tell? Can others tell? Tell me how to tell.
I think love is great as it's clear. Hate is clear because it simple, when you're sure about love it feels great, because it's clear and simple just like hate.
You must be stoned, that's when things really come alive, at least the questions to ask yourself anyway. Try and write them down if you can.
