I was such an ugly baby...

my mother never breast fed me...

she told me that she only liked me as a friend...

 

Prove it.

 

she must've liked you a little.

 

no respect...no respect at all

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.

 

Aha. Dangerfield, baby.

 

Rodney was the greatest.

 

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

 

So why did she dump you?

 

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.

 

Why my cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door. I leave dental floss in the kitchen and watch the roaches hang themselves.

 

classics baby. gotta love it.

 

"Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing". ~Chris Rock