okay so i have this huge problem. me and my boyfriend have been together off and on for awhile when we first got together i got really drunk one night and cheated on him with one of my really good guy friends and i didn't tell him about it. about 2 months later we got in a fight and broke up for about a week well when we got back together i told him about it because i didn't want to keep any secrets from him. well a the other night he got really really drunk he drank about a 5th of vodka to himself and supposiby hooked-up with this girl he didn't sleep with her but he also doesn't remember what he did do. he's says he passed out and really doesn't remember a thing "which i do believe because i have been around when he's done this once before when he gets depressed" the girl says that nothing really happened and that she came onto him cause she had a thing for him and he was drunk even though he told her he had a gf. well we haven't really talked about it that much he has come over to my friends house to talk to me but i was drunk so i really didn't want to listen i was trying to drown my sorrows he keeps telling me what a huge mistake it all was and how sorry he is and all that stuff well now i think i might be pregnant i've taken two pregnancy tests and one came out positive and one negative so they told me i should wait a few days to take another one. the problem is i really want him there i really need his support and i hate him for what he did but all i want right now is him. and he did forgive me but it just seems like so much to forgive him and i really don't know what to do and i just need some advice as to what i should maybe do anyone ever been in something like this? -shaina
Is this the same problem/post you 'o'ed out in another forum? My photographic memory isn't working very well tonight...
I feel that what he did was only cause he was upset with you for what you did. but if you just want him there, you need to put all of your other thoughts aside.. and if you are going to be having a baby.. then the baby is the first thing that you need to be thinking of what is best for the unborn baby. Even though you are hurting the only way to truely move on is to forgive.. Just talk to him. you will miss him if he truly leaves you... you never know how much you need somen till they are gone...
My advice is for the both of you to lay off the alcohol. Beyond not drinking when your not together anymore you just have some major talking to do. Blow off what he did, he blows off what you did and you move on, if that is what you both want anyway.
Well, you mentioned in your other thread that you're not pregnant so don't need advice on that anymore... However, since you did post for advice on a public forum: Please, both you and your bf, seek treatment for alcohol abuse. Getting drunk to "drown your sorrows" is one major sign of alcoholism. Getting drunk to the point of not remembering what you did is another potential sign of an alcohol abuse problem (especially if it tends to happen when you are depressed). Finally, seeing as how you're not pregnant, I suggest you invest in a more reliable form of birth control. You definitely need to grow up quite a bit before you will be able to build the sort of relationship that would be healthy to bring a child into. Nobody does anything they don't want to do when drunk -- alcohol lowers your inhibitions, it does not turn you into a different person. So neither you nor the bf can blame your cheating on being drunk -- if you really loved one another, no amount of alcohol would make you do that.
First the asshole in me has to say your pretty much BS expecting him to be all I forgive you for doing some guy but you cant forgive him for Hell looks like he was drunk, even plowed tried to ward off this girl, mentions you to her and in the end not much seemed to have happend. Hell I would have ditched your ass for sure after being all shitty about what happend if I had been cool with you on what you did. Okay the asshole has left the building.... He was drunk, no real excuse but he was none the less. He did say he had a GF to this girl and she stated nothing really happend and kinda inplied she tried to take advantage of him while he was plowed, so obviously he cared about ya. Wanting him around just becuase you might be prego is a bad reason, a child should not be the sole bond. Seems you both party maybe a bit too hard and for the wrong reasons, sober up a bit for awhile, see how you do then and maybe sine you both made some mistakes you could both offer each other a clean slate to start over with?
The mom in me wants to explain Fetal Alcohol Syndrome to you, but I will refrain. I will say "wow, and you think you have problems now, just wait!" So let me get this straight, you cheated on him and he got whiskey dick with some chick who says nothing happened, and now you are mad at him but want him to stay for the baby. You both should see a therapist and take parenting classes, because you BOTH are responsible for the baby. If all you want is a daddy for the baby get over it, who cares if you forgive him if he is a weekend dad! If you want a partner put down the bottle (both of you) and work on your relationship.
