I use to be obsessed with killing things

It use to do it a lot, but no any more, at least ever since i started taking acid. But i use to love to kill animals and think about blood splatering all over the place. It's like i felt more powerful and great, and dominant when i did it. It would stimulate my imagination. I would often kill birds with a pellit rifle, thousands. I loved watching there brains splater all over the ground. If i shot a bird and it didn't die then i would put it up against a fence and blow it's brains all over the fence. Sometimes i would actually get a boner after doing it. Not a sexual boner, but a boner of satisfaction and joy. Also this one time i shot a rabbit. I ended up shooting it nine times, and it still wasn't dead. I went and got a big pair of bush cutters and clutched it on it's neck then i chumped down. When i did, the thing made the sadest noise of pain i've ever heard, but at the time i was loving it. I ended up having to sling it around a bit before it's head finally came off. My friends were there to. They, i could tell, were disturbed by my actions toward the fuzzy little fucker. I didn't give a fuck though.

But i'm not like that anymore like i said. The first time i took acid i looked out of my window and saw some robins in my front yard picking at some earth worms. At first i wanted to go grab my rifle and bussa cap. But then i started to fell this overwelming feeling of shame and sorrow. I thought about the thousands of animals i've killed in the past and felt really bad. So i just went out on my front porch and watched them eat those worms feeling bad about my past. I realize that i was what many people would call "sick in the head." But oh well, hopefully that want happen to me again. Is that psychopathic behavior?

 

The key phrase is "use to", which means you don't feel this way anymore. Just another reason acid is so wonderful; it brings out the best in people.

 

Its a precurser to.

 

Magic 8 ball says...

http://blog.seattlepi.nwsource.com/baseball/8ball3.gif

 

Thats disgusting, having said that, it's wonderfull you realized the error of your ways, some people do the same things you use to their entire life.

And finally, as horrible as that was, there are much more disturbed and fucked up people, i wouldnt spend your life beating yourself up, just enjoy and embrace your new found perspective and connection with life.

 

How cliche.

 

just the other night isaw aninterview with a sereil kille that sounded very verymuch like this, so, i'd sayyes that is psychopathic behavior, however, saying that i do believe that lsd has helped you to realize or at least question that...however..lsd is not therapy...like the alice in wonderland storysays...1 pill makes you larger, another makes you small....1 trip can open your eyes to your behavior, while another could pushyou over the edge to actualy directing that behavior at a person..
what youve described is fundamentaly either a result of a chemicalimballlance, or more likelythe result of a traumatic childhood..using lsd totryto fix what is really a rather severe problem can have really radicaly unpredictable results...however it has opened your eyes tothe fact that you do have the problem..so, please, take the next step & get proffezssional help
i know youthink you've solved the problem, by tripping & finaly feeling bad abut the past actions...but the underlying causes of those actions are still verymuch a part of you &must be addressed..but congrats on taking the 1st steps towards becomming more healthy

 

I think your wrong about it still being apart of me. For all you know i might have changed for good. But i do admit that for all i now i could go right back to killing things. Whats funny is that all my life i would have never layed a stiff finger on an ambphibian, or reptile. Especially an eastern box turtle. I had one of those for elevin years before it died. As stange as this may sound, that turtle was like a damn brother to me. A really stupid brother. Birds in the past just mostly pissed me off to the point were i couldn't take it so i had to shot them. I mean if i could go back in time i'd change it i guess, but then again i'm not that upset over it. I just couldn't take them shitting all over my car. It's crazy, i swear those goddamn things were doing it on perpose to because there would be hardly any at all on the driveway, but i'd look at my car and it would be fucking covered.

 

That's totally fucked up. If I ever met someone like that, who had not realized the error of their ways as you have, I'd put them in a fucking bodycast. I know that's not the best way to respond, but I know I'd knock the shit out of them. To delight in the pain of other living things is as far from our true self as we can get. We are all one, and the one never desires for anything to feel pain.

 

your sick

 

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has childhood animal abuse as a criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder. Men who abused animals are five times more likely to have been arrested for violence against humans and four times more likely to have committed property crimes. In many cases, serial killers and school shooters often have a link between animal abuse and human violence. Do your best to get over your past or you may not have much of a future.

 

.....so if your not that upset over it .... i guess the acid trip only made you realize what you have done and realize that getting a boner from it is abnormal....?

and what makes you think you will not snap sometime when your overstressed?

 

Well i mean i'm not in fucking tears or anything, but i do fell bad that i killed all those birds. I guess one thing that inspired me to kill them in the first place was not only them shitting all over my car, but violent video games with blood in them. I just felt this great power when i shot someone and they fell to the ground in a puddle of blood. But not anymore.

And right know i'm overstressed, very overstressed. I did say that for all i know i could go right back to killing things, but as of now it doesn't seem that way.

 

Excuse me but, Bwahahahahahahahahahaha....... erhm, hahahahahaha........ HAHAHAHA....

okay I'm done... ahahahaha.. hahaha.... Dude you can't fucking, hehe, blame it on video games, heh... You're just a psycho, it has nothing to do with video games...

What a twatty thing you did, dictator fetish...

You're not over it, your second post made it clear that you'll snap again... If you wanna see blood shoot yourself in the liver with a shotgun and have a laugh for a little while...

hehe, video games lol...

 

Quite a lot of psychotic murderers have this trait - Its well known that many serial killers enjoyed killing animals as a kid - did you ever kill any family pets?

 

Hell no. The only things that i recall killing are wild rabbits, birds, and squirrals. I love most animals especially reptiles, amphibians, and humans. I'd never kill a person.

 

My second post did not make it clear that i will snap and do it again because i said for all i know i COULD go back to killing things again. Hehehehe. I didn't say that i will. For all you know i might never hurt or kill an animal again, am i wrong.

What dumb fuck would shot themselve in the fucking liver. If i was going to shoot myself i'd put one right through the noggin. Hehehehehe......hahahaha!