This is a script my friend and I are working on. I think it's pretty good so far. Anyway I know it's long, but If you guys could read it and give your reviews that would be great. Also, it's gonna take a couple of posts to post the whole thing so bare with me.Scene 1 (A younger versions of Marissa, Jenni, Ashley, and Tara are playing Double Dutch. Two on either side of the ropes and two jumping. There are other children playing. You hear children laughing. The camera focuses on the four girls. They start saying the rhyme that goes with their double Dutch game.) All 4 girls: Bloody Mary, dressed in sherry, Raced upstairs, away from Harry Made a mistake, and cut her face How many slashes will it take? 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…. 9… (As they count their voices get softer, and the screen begins to darken until you can’t hear there voices and the screen is completely black, and then the narrator begins to talk.) Narrator: Sometimes, in history, facts are hidden. The rich are able to tell lies as truth, and then the lies become the facts. But there is always some maid, some servant, some peasant, that saw it, and tells others the truth. Soon the truth becomes just a story, the story a myth, and the myth a legend; sometimes they become urban legends. Eventually, everybody knows one. They tell them to their friends, or to scare a younger child. Most start off with it happened to my uncle’s friend, or something close to that. Some of these legends have become silly party games. They do not know or understand the danger, or what they are getting into. When facts become lies and the past is forgotten, there is only one end. (A maid, dressed in 16th century clothing, is standing in a bathroom, screaming, looking in to a broken mirror. The reflection in the shards of glass is of a dead girl with cuts all over her body in a tub full of water mixed with blood.) Scene 2 (Scene opens in a modern home, where a party is going on. Everyone who is there seems to be of high school or college age. Some of the kids are drinking, and others are smoking. Marissa and Ashley are walking one close behind the other, both with a drink in their hand. Groups of kids are gathered into different areas of the house some are dancing to the loud music that is playing.) Marissa: So how’d Aaron break it to you? Ashley: He gave me the “it’s not you it’s me” speech, and the “let’s just be friends” speech in the same speech. Marissa: Ouch! Ashley: Yeah, and I found out from Chrissie, that he left me to date Tiffany Derek. Marissa: (sympathetically) Oh, I’m sorry. Ashley: Don’t be I’m fine Marissa: You can’t be fine, wasn’t he you’re first? Ashley: Yeah, but that’s okay. It just wasn’t meant to be, I guess. Marissa: Well you can do a lot better than him. Ashley: Yeah, hopefully. Marissa: Well, at least we’ll know his cause of death will be by STD. (They laugh and Tiffany walks by. Both Marissa and Ashley paste well practiced fake smiles on.) Tiffany: What’s so funny? Marissa: (said in a friendly perky tone obvious to the viewers that it’s fake.) Oh nothing. Ashley: Hey, Tiff how are you? Tiffany: Hi, Marissa, Ashley. You guys look fab. Can you believe this party? Well, anyway hate to dash off, but I must mingle. (Tiffany walks off, and Marissa and Ashley share a silent moment of looking at each other, and then laugh.) Marissa: Did you invite her? Ashley: No my brother must have. He knows everybody. Marissa: He graduated last year didn’t he? Ashley: Yeah. Marissa: The why is he inviting high school kids to a party? Shouldn’t he be inviting the college kids who are old enough to by alcohol? Ashley: Yeah, he invited those too. Like I said he’s popular. I think he even invited some girl that’s still in junior high. Marissa: Are you serious? Ashley: Yeah, but I think she’s dating one of his friends. Marissa: Sick. Ashley: I know. (They walk over to where some of the kids form dance team are talking. Jenni sits on Brad’s lap. Tara sits with her legs to her chest on the floor. Doug sits in an over stiffed armchair. James sits on the arm of the chair that Doug sits in. Ashley takes a seat on the other arm of a chair where Doug sits, and Marissa sits on the edge of the coffee table.) Marissa: So what did we miss? Tara: (Pointing at Brad as she talks.) Well, that idiot over there decided to bring up urban legends. James: Oh come off it, Tara. It’s not like any of them are true. Jenni: Yes, they are. Chrissie: Name one that actually happened. Jenni: I know if you do that Bloody Mary thing it works. Marissa: Oh that dumb jump-roping game? Ashley: I remember that one, but I can’t remember all the words to the rhyme. Tara: Bloody Mary, Dressed in sherry, Raced upstairs away from Harry… Ashley: That’s it. Marissa: Yeah, don’t you remember you used to play it with us? Jenni: I’d rather not remember those days. Besides that rhyme just didn’t come out of know where. Tara: Well duh, somebody had to come up with it and write it. Jenni: Yeah, but where do you think they came up with the rhyme? Chrissie: I don’t know the words rhymed, and told a story. Jenni: Exactly, they tell about what happened to the real Bloody Mary, and how she killed herself. Doug: Give me a break, even I’ve tried that one, and I didn’t even see anything. Jenni: Well, you must have done something wrong. Ashley: And what is the right way?
Jenni: You go into the bathroom, and light six candles. Then you say “Bloody Mary” six times. James: Where do you find these things out? Jenni: Well, you know before I discovered sex I had nothing better to do with my free time. Tara: Okay, first, we all didn’t need to know that and, second, what happens then, miss know-it-all Chrissie: Nobody who does it ever lives to tell about it. Jenni: Exactly! Chrissie: I was joking. Doug: Well, why exactly does she come, and kill you when you do that. Brad: I heard she was a witch that was whipped to death during the witch-hunts in Scotland. Chrissie: I heard that somebody took her baby, and she killed herself after they took it. Now when you call her name she thinks you have her baby so she comes and kills you. Jenni: I heard it was this girl in the sixteenth century that was being forced to marry some guy, and she killed herself because she wasn’t in love with him. Doug: I heard it was this woman, who lived in the seventies, and she killed a bunch of guys and she buried them in her basement, and she died. Ashley: That makes no sense. Doug: And her name was Mary. Tara: It doesn’t matter what her name is it still makes no sense. Doug: No, it’s true I saw it in this dream I had. Marissa: (Said as she reaches over and takes the joint out of his hand.) Okay, I think you’ve had enough of this. Doug: Hey, give that back you don’t smoke. Marissa: Well, not pot anyway. (Marissa hands the joint to Chrissie who takes a hit from it.) Brad: Doug, you’re to stupid to smoke that shit anyway. You know it kills brain cells, and you can’t afford to loose anymore. You’re running on bare minimum as it is. Ashley: Oh, like you’re one to talk. Brad: What’s that supposed to mean? Jenni: It means you’ve had two (Hold up two fingers.) joint tonight, already. (Brad tries to say something to try to stick up for himself, but Tara cuts him off with a glare.) Tara: Anyway, I heard it was based off of Mary Queen of Scots. James: It wasn’t Mary Queen of Scots it was Mary of Tudor. Ashley: I heard she was the daughter of the Devil. She’s average height with blond hair and blue eyes. She was born in the fifteenth century, and when she was ten years old she broke the bathroom mirror, took the pieces of glass, and killed her entire family. She then continued to kill the people in the town until this Voodoo witch doctor trapped her in a mirror. She can only escape her imprisonment when you say her name six times with the six lit candles, and only until she kill the person that let her out. So, Marissa, what do you believe. Marissa: Mirrors have just always freaked me out, so I’ve never paid much attention to those stories. James: Well, Ashley’s story is the only believable one. Brad: Yeah, none of the others explain the candles. Doug: Or the mirror. Tara: Oh and yours does? Doug: Well, no, but. Chrissie: But nothing. Ashley’s story is the most believable, and it explains everything. James: Yes, the Devil and Voodoo witch doctors explain it perfectly. Brad: Well, if you really think about it the whole thing is supernatural. It’s not like ghost even exists. I agree with Chrissie and James, Ashley’s version is the only one that explains why it doesn’t work without candles or a mirror. Jenni: Hey! You’re my boyfriend you’re supposed to agree with my story. (Brad responds by kissing Jenni. Chrissie takes another hit from the joint.) Marissa: This is freaking me out, so who’s for changing the subject? (Everyone raises their hand) Tara: So what do you propose we do? Chrissie: Ooo! I know how about we play “Have-ya-ever”. Doug: What’s that? Chrissie: Everyone has alcohol, and somebody says something that they haven’t done. If you have done it you have to take a drink. Jenni: The way I always played it was you took off an article of clothing. (All of the girls glare at here. Brad looks at her with both confusion and shock. Jenni shrugs.) Brad: When and with who did you play this with? Marissa: (Marissa glares at Jenni to keep her from saying anything else.) Let’s just start the game. Brad: (Looks at Jenni and then Chrissie wondering what he missed out on, and what his girlfriend got up to.) All right, I’ll start. I’ve never had sex with a guy. (Jenni, Tara, Ashley, and Chrissie take a drink.) James: Marissa, you’re still a virgin? Marissa: Don’t rub it in. I just haven’t found the right guy. Jenni: Leave her alone James. It’s okay Marissa I still love you. Marissa: Thanks. Jenni: Okay my turn. I haven’t… okay this is a hard one. I umm . . . I’ve never kissed anyone of the . . . oh wait never mind I did do that. Just pass me up until I come up with one. Marissa: I’ll go.. I’ve never had a crush on someone of the same sex. (Doug, Jenni, James, and Tara take a drink.) Tiffany: Oh I love this game. Let me go. Oh I know, have my boyfriend leave me for someone else. (Ashley gets up and leaves. Everyone looks at Tiffany.) Marissa: Why would you say that? Tiffany: What? It was a joke. Marissa: No, that’s not a joke, what’s a joke is that you think you belong here. Brad: Ooooo (Jenni elbows him.) Jenni: Not the time or place. Marissa: I’ll go take care of Ashley. Tara: (said as she glares evilly at Tiffany.) Good idea. (Marissa gets, and heads the way Ashley did. As she leaves she sees a guy standing across the room from where Marissa is standing. His back is to her, and he is talking to somebody she doesn’t know. He has shoulder length black hair and black clothing. He catches her eye for just a second, and when he does he turns so she can only see his face in profile. Somebody walks in front of him, and when they’re gone so is he. Marissa shakes her head, and heads outside where Ashley is. She goes over to Ashley whose is sitting on the edge of the back deck. Marissa sits down next to Ashley both of their legs hang off the edge. She opens a pack of cigarettes and lights one, she hands one to Ashley. She looks at it, and hands it back to Marissa.)
Ashley: Can we just share? Marissa: Yeah. (Marissa puts Ashley’s cigarette back in the pack, and lights her own. She takes a drag from it, and hands it to Ashley. They sit quietly for while Ashley takes a drag from the cigarette, and Marissa blows the smoke out of her mouth.) Ignore Tiffany; she’s a bitch who is jealous, and any guy who leaves you for her isn’t worth the time of day. Ashley: (She hands the cigarette back to Marissa, and blows the smoke out of her mouth.) What does she have to be jealous of? Marissa: Your drop-dead sexiness that’s what! (Marissa takes another drag.) Ashley: (She laughs as Marissa hands the cigarette back to her.) Thanks. (She takes another drag, and hands the cigarette back to Marissa) Marissa: Don’t laugh I was being serious. Besides that’s what friends are for. (Takes a drag from the cigarette.) Ashley: So what do you think of that Bloody Mary stuff? Marissa: (She takes time to blow the smoke slowly out of her mouth before answering.) I think it’s a load of bull, but I wouldn’t want to mess with it. (Takes another drag and hands it to Ashley, but Ashley waves it away.) Ashley: If you don’t think it’s real then why won’t you try it? Marissa: Well, supposing it is real, and you know what happens when you do it; then you probably have to want to die to try it. I myself have no urge to die yet. Ashley: Dieing doesn’t actually sound that bad. Marissa: What? Ash you’re my best friend, who else would I share my cancerous ways with? (Smiles) No guy is worth it babe. You’re hot and you’re the nicest person I know, that’s got to mean something. Ashley: It’s not just Aaron. I just don’t feel myself anymore. Marissa: What do you mean? (Takes a long drag from the cigarette.) Ashley: I don’t know. I knew Aaron was going to break up with me, and I didn’t care. I guess that’s what I mean. Marissa: Listen Ash, I’ve known you all my life, and we’ve been best friends since I can remember what would I do with out you. Ashley: I don’t know. Marissa: Don’t do anything drastic. Just think about all the years we’ve been friends, and all the years to come. Ashley: Yeah. Marissa: (looks at the cigarette in her hand, then gestures the hand it’s in towards Ashley.) Do you want the rest of this? Ashley: No. Marissa: Neither do I. (She rubs it out on the deck, and then throws it in the grass.) Ashley:(Said as she stands up.) I’m going to go inside I gotta pee. Marissa: (Stands up, and give Ashley a hug.) Promise that if you’re going to kill yourself call me first, so I can try to talk you out of it. Ashley: I promise. (They walk inside, and Marissa looks around for the guy she saw before she went out side.) Ashley: Who you looking for? Marissa: Oh, just some guy I saw before I went outside. Ashley: Really, what’d he look like? Marissa: Well, actually he looked gothic. You know black hair black clothes. Ashley: Yeah. Well, I don’t know who he is; not one of my friends. Probably somebody my brother knows. (Marissa nods, and they walk back to where James, Doug, Chrissie, Brad, Jenni, and Tara) James: We kicked that girl out. Ashley: You didn’t have to do that. James: No it was fun because we literally kicked her out. (James and Chrissie do a “High Five”) Tara: Doug, look what you did to him. We didn’t literally kick her out, we asked her to leave. (Ashley starts heading upstairs) Brad: Where are you going? Ashley: To the bathroom. Chrissie: Are you going to find out if Bloody Mary is dressed in sherry? Ashley: No, I have to pee. Chrissie: Well, if you find out you gotta tell me because I want to know what color sherry is. Doug: It’s a maroonish red color. (Everyone turns and looks at him oddly.) What? Why can’t I know what color sherry is? (Tara looks at him and shakes her head and pats him on the shoulder. Ashley heads up stairs.) Jenni: So what I was saying before, she thinks he is dreamy. Brad: Dreamy? Who says dreamy? Jenni: I do. Brad: I know that’s why you’re so cute. (They start to make out. The others stare at them in disgust.) James: Uh, yeah (leans over and taps them.) Get a room please. Jenni: (Stands up, and pulls Brad up.) Fine. (She begins to pull Brad away.) Brad: Where are we going? Jenni: To find a room, where prying eyes won’t stare, and nosey people won’t interrupt. (They walk away.) Chrissie: Can you believe those two? Marissa: I’d actually just rather not think of it. James: So… Tara: (Said as she stands up from her seat on the floor.) I wonder if Ashley’s okay. She’s been gone awhile. Marissa: Yeah, she has. Tara: I hope she’s all right. You know not crying her eyes out in there over that asshole that dumped her, or the bitch that rubbed it in her face. Chrissie: (sarcastically) Maybe Bloody Mary got her. James: She’s probably just trying to scare us with it.
(Tara walks off to the bathroom. following Ashley’s footsteps and going upstairs. She walks down the hall, and slowly begins to open the door. Before she opens the door completely the scene flashes to Chrissie, James, Doug, and Marissa talking. All of a sudden Tara’s screams are heard, and the entire house goes dead silent. Marissa rushes to the bathroom while most everybody else stands around not moving; not knowing what to say or do. It flashes to Jenni and Brad in a bedroom. They are both on the bed Brad’s shirt is off, and his hand is half way up her shirt, but has been stopped dead in it’s tracks.) Jenni: What was that? (She says with some terror in her voice, and she gets off the bed, and walks out of the bedroom, into the hallway, and seeing Tara standing in front of the bathroom door incomplete shock. Jenni runs to Tara, and looks in the bathroom. Ashley lies on the floor dead with cuts all over her body, but there is little blood in the room. Marissa is holding Ashley that her head is supported up, and part of her torso rest on Marissa’s legs. Marissa is crying. Brad comes shortly after, and looks in the bathroom.) Brad: Holy shit (He says softly more to himself. Then he walks to the edge of the stairs, and shouts down.) Somebody call the police, and quick. Scene 3 (The same group of kids, minus Ashley, is in a cemetery. They all stand around a fresh grave. Chrissie stands between James and Doug one holding on to each of her hands. Brad and Jenni stand together, Jenni with her head on Brad’s shoulder. Marissa and Tara stand closer to the gravestone.) James: I can’t believe she’s really gone. Chrissie: I can’t believe she killed herself. Doug: Over Aaron. Tara: He wasn’t worth it. Marissa: She wouldn’t have killed herself over him. Brad: Then who killed her? Marissa: Don’t you guys remember what we were talking about that night? Jenni: Bloody Mary. You think Bloody Mary killed her. Marissa: Maybe. (Shrugs her shoulder.) She brought it up when we were outside talking. Tara: Bloody Mary is just a stupid story, just a stupid party game. It’s not real. Marissa: I was her best friend, and I know her. She would not have killed herself over Aaron, or any guy for that matter. Brad: Marissa, Bloody Mary didn’t kill Ashley. Jenni: I know it’s hard to face, but she committed suicide. Marissa: (Turns around so she can look at Jenni strait in the eyes.) Jenni, you’re the one who so admittedly believes in this stuff. Why can’t it happen to your friends? (Tara turns around to see how the others respond, and Marissa reacts to them.) Jenni: Because it didn’t. Ashley even said she wasn’t going to the bathroom to try Bloody Mary. Marissa: She lied to us plain, and simple. Chrissie: Marissa, come on. We all know it was a suicide. Marissa: (Turning to face Chrissie.) Then where’d the blood go? James: What are you talking about? Marissa: We all saw her. She was covered in slashes. Yes, it was enough to kill anybody, but it would have made them bleed to death. We all saw the bathroom that night. There wasn’t any blood in the bathroom. Tara: There was some. Marissa: Not enough to account for her to have bled to death. Brad: So, now Bloody Mary’s a vampire. Marissa: Or why wasn’t there any broken glass? Doug: Marissa, it was a tragic thing that happened. James: Yeah, and you were her best friend it must be a traumatic experience for you. Chrissie: What they’re trying to say is maybe you should go see somebody. Marissa: You mean like a shrink. You all think I’m crazy. Tara: Not crazy. You’re just having a hard time grieving. Jenni: You should see a grief councilor. I can give you the number to one. I started going after my dad died, and I’m going again to help deal with this. Tara: We should all go to a group session. Chrissie: It would help us to deal with what happened, and come together more. Doug: Yeah, we shouldn’t be fighting in a time like this. Tara: We should be consoling each other. Jenni: Marissa, when things like this happen it can be very hard to deal with, and it’s okay to lean on your friends for support. Marissa: I don’t need help. I don’t need support. Not from you guys anyway. Not from people who don’t believe a word I say. Tara: It’s not that we don’t believe anything you’re saying. We just think that maybe you’ve convinced yourself that Bloody Mary did it because the truth is too hard to deal with. Chrissie: And group therapy with your friends who are going through the same thing will help not only you but all of us. Marissa: (Walking off.) You guys go. I don’t need a grief councilor especially not with a bunch of people who can’t accept the truth. What I need is somebody to believe the truth. Jenni: (Calling after her.) It doesn’t matter how far you run, or where you hide you’re going to have to deal with this someday. Marissa: (Turning back to them, and stopping just long enough to say it.) I’m not the one who’s running from the truth. You are. You all are, and I’m not going to jump on that bandwagon. Scene 4 (1 year later) (Marissa is psychiatrist’s office at school) Dr. Rafac: How are you today Marissa? Marissa: I’m okay. Dr. Rafac: What about yesterday? I didn’t see you. Marissa: I don’t have sessions every day. Dr. Rafac: I know that, but I didn’t see you in the hallways, or anything. Marissa: I’ve never seen you in the hallways any other day. Dr. Rafac: There have been a few times. Marissa: Maybe, but I don’t remember. Dr. Rafac: Well, was yesterday a good day? Marissa: Yes. Dr. Rafac: What about last night? Did you dream last night? Marissa: No, I didn’t. Dr. Rafac: Marissa, if you lie to me I can’t help you. Marissa: Okay, I had a dream last night. Dr. Rafac: What was your dream about? Marissa: Same thing as usual. Dr. Rafac: I see the reoccurring dream, where you kill Ashley? Marissa: Yes. Dr. Rafac: Do you have any idea why you kill her in the dream? Marissa: If I knew that I wouldn’t be coming to see you. Dr. Rafac: Well, then I can feel free to suggest what I think the dream represents. Marissa: That is basically why I come here.
Dr. Rafac: Most likely these dreams represent that you feel you failed your friend, and let her die. By not seeing how depressed she was, and not realizing she wanted to commit suicide you feel you failed her as a friend. In your subconscious it transfers into you killing her. Marissa: But I didn’t kill her. Dr. Rafac: I know that, and your conscious mind knows that, but somewhere you feel like you’ve failed her. When you feel that way it comes out in dreams as killing the person you’ve failed. Marissa: (Said with growing aggravation, and her voice getting a little louder, and more angry with each word.) But I didn’t kill her, and she didn’t kill herself. Dr. Rafac: There is no to raise your voice. Calm down. Take a deep breath and relax. (Both Marissa and the doctor take a deep breath in and let the air out slowly. Dr. Rafac doing it as if to show Marissa how to do it.) Marissa: Okay, I’m, okay. Dr, Rafac: Now, Marissa we have been over this a hundred times. Until you realize that Ashley killed herself, and there was nothing you could do about it you’re not going to get over it. Marissa: But Ashley didn’t kill herself. Yeah Ashley was upset over Aaron, everybody gets upset when their boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with them, that doesn’t mean they kill themselves. Dr. Rafac: Some do. Marissa: Well, Not Ashley. Dr. Rafac: Marissa, we keep ending up in this cycle and I am quite frankly sick of it. Marissa: (sarcastically) Yeah and I like spending time with you every other day. Dr. Rafac: I don’t think I can help you any more than I already have. That is if I’ve helped you at all. You don’t want to listen to what I have to say, and you don’t seem to want to get better. I have a friend at St. Hope that may be able to… Marissa: (Cuts her off) You want me to go to a mental hospital? Dr. Rafac: That may be the only way for you to get better. Marissa: Get better? I don’t need to get better! Why doesn’t anyone believe me? Dr. Rafac: Listen. You have these out bursts of screaming, and you can’t seem to deal with your friend’s death. Your parents even told me you don’t hag out with your friends as much anymore. I Talked to your guidance councilor too; she you’re your grades are dropping. Marissa: Well, maybe if people believed me or even listened to me, I wouldn’t have to yell. Dr. Rafac: You’re not making any progress in here. Our sessions just seem to be a waist of my time and yours. Look. I’ll tell you what we’ll do. I’ll give you a week, and talk to your parents. If nothing seems to progress, I’m going to have you and your parents come in for a conference, and see if you can get enrolled at St. Hope. Marissa: Okay, thank you Doctor. I’ll be okay, you’ll see. Dr. Rafac: I know you can Marissa. You’re just having a hard time right now. Well you better be run along to your next class. (Marissa gets up and heads out to leave.) Scene 5 (Marissa walks out of the office. She meets up with Jenni.) Jenni: So how was your session? Marissa: Fine. I think that it’s helping. Jenni: That’s good. Okay lets head to dance team. They’ve probably already started. Marissa: You’re on Dance team? Jenni: No, but I like watching my little balleriner. (Marissa looks at her weirdly) It’s the male version of ballerina. (Marissa rolls her eyes, and begins walking to the dance room.) What? (Following Marissa.) Marissa: Nothing. Jenni: No what? Marissa: Just the things that come out of your mouth sometimes. Jenni: Well, if a male ballerina isn’t a balleriner what is he? (Marissa just shakes her head, and they walk into the classroom. Marissa and the other dancers begin. Marissa messes up. Tara takes her aside.) Tara: What is your problem? You are always late, and you’re not into the routine, like you use to be. Marissa: I’m sorry. I’m just not myself lately. Tara: Yeah everybody can tell. Marissa: What is that supposed to mean? Tara: Never mind. Marissa: No what is that supposed to mean? Tara: You’re seeing a psychiatrist. You never want to do anything anymore. You’ve even bee known to cut classes, and I’d hate to see what your grades have become. Everybody knows Ashley was your best friend, but that doesn’t mean just because she dies you have to stop living your life. I know things will never be the same without her, but you need to at least start getting over her death. Marissa: Yeah, just like you did. You got over her death so fast just like she wasn’t even there before. Maybe I can’t get over her death because she meant something to me, and she meant nothing to you. (Tara slaps Marissa) Tara: You don’t know what I go through every day; what I’ve had to go through since her death. You don’t know how hard it was for me to find a replacement for her on the dance team, but I did it because in case you haven’t noticed life does go on. Marissa: Whatever I’m out. (Marissa walks out the door) Tara: Marissa wait. (Marissa walks, muttering down the hallway. Bumps into Theo) Marissa: Move. Theo: Excuse me? Marissa: Sorry. I’m just having a… Theo: Bad day? Marissa: Yeah. Well I better get home to do my homework. (Marissa walks pass him.) this isn't all we have it's just all i'm posting for now
That was really good, I loved it! Well-written, and now what's kind of rare these days; The teenagers actually talk like real teenagers, it's refreshingGood job!
hey. wow that's a lot of work youve done there. a few things... i think you need to do a bit more combing....some incorrect spelling, punctuation and grammar and youve missed odd words out in some places. it's very white-american-teenager, in my view, and completely beleivable untill the scene in the shrinks office. the characters..the bunch of friends, all seem very similar and its hard to distinguish who is who while reading the script...you may want to think about giving them a bit more of an introduction and more direction within dialoge to the characters actions etc. oh, and youve typed some of the dialogue in italics when is shouldnt be and you give no idnication to tiffany's approach in the pary scene. but wooooow so much work. congratulations.
