Im 18 years old and pretty healthy. I can masturbate fine but when I'm with my girlfriend I cant get hard. I get really turned on but then I get distracted. Since this started a while ago whenever I start getting hard I think about it and then it goes away. Im not nervous around her and Im very relaxed. Could it be just worrying about it that makes it go away? If so is there anyone who has had this problem that could share how they got over it? Any help would be much appreciated. Thanks
i have the same problem...im pretty sure its because she has been teasing me for the last 3 days and there is alot of built up cum so it takes ALOT longer, but she says its because im trying too hard..
Yeah, worrying about IT can make you lose your erection. Just like WORRYING about ejaculating too early may actually make you ejaculate too early. Not only do you have to be comfortable around your partner, you also have to be comfortable with your own sexual self. All the best.
just don't think about it. kiss all over her body, make her feel good. when you get hard, she can start making you feel good. then just sit back, and relax. if you need to, start stroking her body, keep your mind off of keeping yourself hard.
Easier said than done. The problem is that whenever you tell yourself not to think of something you tend to automatically think of that something. For example: "I will not think of keeping hard..." By thinking that way you're already thinking of keeping hard. btw, I have the same problem. Thank God my girlfriend is the understanding and patient type. (Then again, I am pretty good with my hands. ) But seriously, telling your partner (I am assuming, of course, that you love each other) helps.
Yeah, the pressure to perform can create problems. I agree with revolution time in that you should just focus on other activities that turn you on... kissing, oral sex, fondling... all that good stuff. Then, when your penis starts responding, give penetration another try. Heck, you could make a game of it with your partner... I'm sure she'll enjoy all the sexual pleasure you two share!
Are you taking medication, especially antidepressants? That's definitely a common cause of impotence...
I've had this problem quite alot. The second you worry, you won't be able to do it. It takes a while, but you have to learn to just relax and anjoy it, and see that it's fun between two people. When people told me what i just wrote, I didn't believe them, and thought "I can't do that, i worry too much" but it's true. I STILL have this problem now and then, alot of times i feel pressured to get hard. Sometimes i'm really in the mood and she doesn't even have to do anything for me, i can just go straight for it. But sometimes i'm not in the mood and kind of feel like I have to "force" myself into getting hard, it's impossible. Your lady should respect the fact that sometimes you just, won't be able to get hard, Just like sometimes she won't be able to get wet . or im just talking shit
I have this exact same problem as well and it's pretty embarassing for me. I'm 19 years old and many times with my girlfriend I cant quite get it all the way up. When im not with her it's not a problem at all and Im really active, not on any anti-depressants either. I am also very into my girlfriend. My question is would viagra etc. be a good thing to take or should I let my self relax over time? It's embarassing because every other second of the day I'm ready to go, but when I'm with her it seems to run away.
Performance anxiety is a common problem which has hit all guys at some time in their lives. It goes away when you are relaxed and don't think "I hope I don't go soft" when you are about to enter her. You really screw with your brain and not your dick, as a chemical, nitrous oxide, is created in the brain which is flashed to your penis and opens the capillaries in the shaft to let blood rush in and create an erection. If you start thinking about something else or there is a knock on the door or the phone rings, you start to lose your erection as the chemical chain is broken. Train yourself to shut out thoughts while you are having sex other than those about the woman in front of or under you. In any event, almost all guys lick this problem as they get more experience "under their belts".
Regarding viagra or cialis - these drugs mimic the chemical from the brain, and they give the user great erections, but often make it harder to cum. And they are not meant for 19 year olds - check with a doctor before using them.
You are a very young man and I assume you have all the sexual power you need to give her a long nice fuck... And this fear / distraction is all in your brain. Ask her to give you a blow job. The good thing is you can watch her do it, so it alse serves your brain through your eyes. Ask her to moan and cry a bit while she sucks you, this will serve your brain through your hearing. Ask her to role play a bit... Maybe this will help the problem.
