13 year old son - I'm worried

I’m single with a 13 year old son and I'm worried about him.


He wanted to get into dancesport and has gone a few times. As part of his birthday present, he wanted a pair of extremely high and close fitting pants which go up well above his navel and some suspenders to wear at competitions. I took him to a tailor and we had the pants made and now he seems to have lost interest in the dancesport.
Last week, I left him alone in the house while I went out to do some shopping. I left my wallet at home and came back. I was a little surprised to find him in the lounge room dressed up in his high pants and suspenders.

I complimented him on the way he looked but he seemed really nervous and embarassed. Trying to smooth it over for him, I asked if he wanted to come out shopping with me and he did, but he went upstairs and changed back into more "normal" gear first.

I told him that he looked great and didn't need to change but he wouldn't have it. I felt sorry for him because he seemed to be ashamed.

He’s looks nice in them if somewhat slim and vulnerable and they are outrageously high, reaching to just a couple of inches below his sternum. Maybe I’m being narrow minded here but the terms “gay” and “sissy” do come to mind.

The other night, my mother dropped around unexpectedly. I went up to his room and opened the door (I should have knocked first but....) and he was dressed up in his pants again. But that's not all.

His bed has small knobs at the corners and there he was with his legs straight, his back arched and leaning at about a forty five degree angle so that one of the knobs was pressing right into his solar plexus/gut area. And I couldn't help seeing that he had a hard on.

He also had his arms high up behind his back and as I think about it I can’t help thinking that he was imaging that someone was holding his arms behind his back.

He got a hell of a shock and blushed and told me to get out. I was embarassed and surprised and just mentioned that his grandmother was here. I left and shut the door. After half an hour he came down wearing "normal gear" and I asked him how school had been that day to show that I wasn't going to mention it in front of his grandma or confront him about anything.

We haven't talked about the incident but I think we're going to need to. I'm thinking now that maybe he's gay and confused about it but more than that, I'm suspecting that he has some kind of weird masochism thing happening...maybe to do with being gutpunched and winded while dressed up in high pants. The way he was leaning forward with his back arched meant that the bed knob was pressing right into his upper gut area.

As far as I'm concerned, if he's turned on by the high pants, then he should wear them, openly and in public even, and enjoy them. If it's a part of his personality, I want him to know that it's welcome and that I respect it but I don't quite know how to broach the subject and also, I suspect that he would definitely get some funny looks, taunts and even make himself a target for bullies. If he really does have a masochism thing going with the pants, then I'm worried that maybe he would actually want to be a target for bullies and get himself beaten up.

What the hell to do?

 

Theres a good chance he could be and theres an equally good chance he's not.

You don't have to know a kids orientation at the age of 13, in fact you shouldn't.

 

Just... let him be himself. Leave it alone. I would be embarassed as fuck if my mom commented on my masturbatory habits or any fantasy material I might use, if she had a dhance to become knowledgeable about them somehow. It's awkward and uncomfortable, and it's best just to let him know that you love him, dont' bring up fantasy material.

Or at least, that's my take on it.

 

yes 13 is a very worry-some age, confusing, time anything could happen, it could be blow over tommorow, the whole senerio seemed very odd, the pants are custom pants that fit tightly and high, how odd that someone wants that, what are his freinds like?

 

His friends are okay really. Not heavily into sports and tolerant of his taste in classical music.

 

Maybe you should confront him and just ask him what he was doing, it sounds very strange.

 

I'd get your boy involved in some team sports. Preferably something with a little contact. Sports help develop boys not only physically and mentally, but also socially. If team sports aren't his thing, just find something that involves some physical activity that he enjoys. Studies have shown that physical activity and team sports can make a child have a much healthier childhood which leads into a healthier adolescence and adulthood.

 

I think he was just masturbating and you have nothing to worry about. I get off on having someone put a lot of pressure on my stomach. I would just worry about him hurting himself. Maybe he is 'gay' or maybe he's just a confused 13-year-old.
I would encourage him to continue with dance or to find another hobby or interest that he is regularly engaged in so his sexuality is not on the forfront of his mind all the time.

 

call me old fashioned but masteurbation causes blindness

 

Team sports aren't his thing. He's been back at music lessons for a month now (piano) he's been to the ballroom dancing thing again but doesn't like it.

I don't blame him, there issomething vaguely oily about dancesport.

He wears his pants around the house sometimes. He said he likes them but is a bit self conscious about going out publicly just yet.

Things seem fine.

 

That's not true.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_wives'_tale#Masturbation_causes_blindness