I am a 27 year old student who's bisexual. Over the last 5 months I have developed very strong feelings for one of my tutors at college. It started when I was doing a course that she was taking me for. When I first saw her I did wonder whether I'd fancy her due to the fact that I have a tendency to go for people in postions of authority. Then I thought no, she's much older than me of course not. But as I got to know her and despite the fact she could be quite strict I began to see a gentle, attractive side to her personality. I also felt she began to single me out, almost pick on me infront of the class but not in an unkind way. Often she'd ask if I had a boyfriend even when I told her I was single (she doesnt know about my bisexuality). She'd also make comments of a slight sexual innuendo and would sneakily wink at me from time to time. I then got that gut feeling she may possibly fancy me. Then I thought this woman is married and she is approximately late 40's, or around the 50 mark, would she be interested in a 27 year old? I then decided to switch courses, mainly because of the workload, although seeing her constantly in hindsight did play a small part in the stress I was under due to her being too close for comfort. Since being on my new course I still see this woman around and she is more friendly than she was before. She's given me the odd hugs and according to other staff members, she asks after me quite a lot. Also she still winks, hence I have started to reciprocate. The other day she said "Oh you're looking good!" when I actually was just wearing my usual clothes and looked like shit. I don't know what to make of her. One minute I think yeah she fancies me, the next I think she's married, she can't be interested in someone so much younger who's female, therefore she is just being friendly. It's so frustrating cos I just wanna know where I stand. If anyone out there could shed some light I't be interested to hear what you have to say.
She maybe be bi as well. Just because she's married doent mean that she doesnt have the ability to have a girlfriend as well. If you find her attractive then you need to let her know that. She how she reacts back. Since shes not one of your instructors at this time, theres no chance of harm in your grades. Good luck!
mrpwonder is right....you will never know unless you bring it up...she may feel awkward doing this herself due to her posistion there as a teacher. Try it...what have you got to lose !!!?????
Yeah i say you go for it the worst thing that could happen is her not be into you and have it be very awkward every time you see her. I had a thing for my Government teacher when i was younger. Of course i was in high school and 16 and she was 29 so i never considered making a move. But i will always remember her as my first teacher crush and her words will forever live in my signature, below everytyhing i post :H
It was interesting reading what people had to say. Let me tell you some more... Today I was sitting in the canteen in college with some other students and she walked in one door to go through another. As she came in she caught my eye, I then said "Hello" with a smile and then she blew 2 kisses in the air at me (just with her lips) making that kissing sound as she walked by. I couldn't believe what I saw and I thought maybe the other girls sensed something, cos there was this awkward silence (or so I thought) and I didn't know where to look. Obviously deep down I felt lightning pulsating through me! Anyway, I asked one girl who was sitting next to me if she thought my ex-tutor was doing what I thought she was and the girl agreed. Because I couldn't quite believe it I had to ask for a second opinion! LOL! Now what does that say about my ex-tutor?? Taking into account I have not exaggerated, just been factual?
It's hard to say what her intentions are. I honestly don't knwo what to say because I don't know her, but from what it sounds like, there's something going on with her. Maybe you should talk to her about it.
It says she is interested !!!........you are of legal age, it would be different if you were a child. I may be wrong, it wouldnt be the first time, but I think you should let her know you would like to grab a cup of coffee with her, or maybe lunch off campus, just in case shes not supossed to date a student !!!
Another thing I didn't mention in my original post was about 6 weeks ago I sent her a card anonymously from outside the college. As I was too chicken I asked a friend to write in the card her name followed by "WITH LOVE AND KISSES" and then he signed it off "from an admirer" and put a "+" with a "O" underneath it (to hint it was from a female) followed by more XXXXXX below. How naughty am I?? Usually I would never have the guts to go through with something like this. It was something I'd been thinking about for months and originally I was gonna wait till Valentines Day to send a card. Then I thought - shit that's 6 months away!! So I kept debating whether or not to send one until one day I just plucked up the courage to push the boat out a little. I was nervous, excited and terrified about the consequences at the same time!
I think you should give it a shot !!!! You two might be good together !!! Wish I had your luck !!!!! hahaha
I hope her behaviour is what I think it is. I still think that maybe she is just being friendly or that the 2 kisses she blew were simply her being maternal towards me. I was telling a close friend and her mum (they don't know I sent the card) and the mum thought that maybe she was just acting maternal towards me. But although my friend's mum likes me as a person, she doesnt really approve of gay relationships. She's one of these people that can't get her head around the fact that people are openly gay these days. Like being gay is a fashion trend to her. What do ya think??
I think you should tell the lady you would like to grab some coffee...then jus talk..it doesnt even have to be about the two of you, it would give you a chance to get to know her away from the school setting !!!!
I would love to ask her out for coffee, but it's not the sort of thing that is done at my college and I fear the rejection. Do you think she definitely likes me though or is just being maternal/friendly?
This is by no means my area of expertise, but the principles still apply. Just go for it, rejection is tough but by the sound of it I think she might be waiting for you to ask her. Getting over that first hurdle is often the toughest step.
Hahaha.....maternal usually doesnt consist of blowing a kiss...believe me, Im old enough to know maternal !!!!
I agree blowing a kiss or 2 in my view in kind of intimate. I was trying to rule out any other possibility.
I too like you used to have feelings for one of my tutors, she was a real mentor and influence. but i could not personally approach the subject, it would not be fair on either on you..... I'm bi as well and i found it hard to face her knowing she wasn't, but i would never of given up my course. xxx
Often I can't help but think it will be sods law that she's not interested. If she is I can't completely believe it and I think it's because I have not had much luck when it comes to hooking up with people I really like. Usually it's because they are taken in the first place and not interested for the most part. I didn't see the woman today, but when I next see her I am tempted to blow a couple of kisses like she did to me. I probably won't have the guts though as when I usually see her it's always by chance and never at certain times every day, so whenever I do bump into her my heart races and I get a little nervous. Awwww!
I would love to ask her to go for coffee but don't feel it would be appropriate yet. I keep hoping I will bump into her whilst waiting for the train as I know she gets the same line as me. Last week for the first time in ages I nearly got on the same train as her. Turned the corner and the doors of the train were just closing. I thought damn and as I turned my head away I caught sight of her but she didn't see me. OMG!! Had it been a few seconds earlier I would have had an opportunity to talk to her! I saw her today when I was standing outside the admin office. I turned round and she was there. It was a nice surprise but I was shocked at the same time. I was rather annoyed with myself cos I just acted normal around her and didn't have much time to flirt.