I'm not sure what to say. My name is Spencer, 15 years old, born in Austin, TX. I'm pretty lonely. I have no friends, except for one guy who I talk to a lot. I'm an atheist, I live deep in the bible belt and everyone hates me for it. I don't have many interests other than reading. My intellectual interests are like soap bubbles, they come and go, sometimes they spontaneously disappear. I was inspired from a young age to become an astronomer after taking a visit to the McDonald's Observatory in West Texas. It's a rather long story, but after starting to read up on the universe, I discovered that my true interest in science lies in how the whole universe operates on a fundamental level. I read some books by modern popularizers in science: Michio Kaku, Brian Greene, Stephen Hawkings, Paul Davies etc. It may sound childish and unrealistic, but I hope to become a theoretical physicist in the future. Philosophy was something that was slowly revealed to me. In a sense, I believe we are all philosophers and that calling yourself a philosopher sounds somewhat elitist. I could talk about this all night, however I wrote an essay recently that may open your mind to philosophy and what it's about (If you want me to email it to you, I will. I'm paranoid about people plagiarising my work). Generally, I'm never taken seriously. Of course I'm 15 and I haven't lived as long as other people have. My aspirations are often laughed at. My efforts are laughed at as well. My beliefs? I am scolded for those too. I don't view myself any better or worse than other human beings of any religious, political, social, intellectual orientation etc. You can read about some atheist pamphlets I made a few weeks ago and how the school tried to stop me from communicating with other students. http://www.hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=190812 I deleted my original post for personal reasons. The education system is the worst. I find myself going through the day wondering what the purpose of this school is. School isn't about learning, it's about creating conformism, inhibiting creativity, saying "Yes mam/Yes sir". Where is discovery? Where is skepticism? Where is wisdom? They do not lie anywhere near a public school. I've read short biographies and autobiographies from famous philosophers and scientists...Many of them complained about the education, of course nobody listens to them, and I am left in awe at how effectively schools turn out robots. I find inspiration from these people, they are from the same boat I am in right now. I don't come from a picture perfect family. I got my taste of what the real world is like from a young age. Ruthless, unforgiving, deceptive, chaotic. My parents, my siblings...always fighting, running, scared. I still don't know who's side to join. My mom or my dads? My mom told me everything I didn't want to hear about my dad. I always thought my dad wasn't a bad person. Then my dad told me everything I didn't want to hear about my mom. I always that my mom wasn't a bad person. I don't know who's telling the truth and who isn't. I see my dad with many friends, and in public he is a very friendly guy. I see my mom with many friends, and in public she is a happy woman. Friendly, happy? They seem the opposite at home. I can tackle questions about God, self-identity, nothingness, meaning...But when you ask me about my family, I just don't know. I don't know if it's psychological damage, I just don't know what to think. Saying I don't know is even the wrong thing to say. I just have no words to describes how incredibly fucking confused I am. I have contemplated long and hard about "family" and what it's all about. I haven't come to a conclusion yet, and maybe I never will. That's basically it. If you asked me what my goal in life is. I guess searching for truth and meaning is the ultimate purpose. I hope for my entire life I will never be satisfied that I have found the answer.
damn your 15? dude, your a pretty serius thinker for your age, ithink maybe ya are lil too advanced for the bible belt..ya know those folks shut off theyre minds long ago... welcome thogh, enjoyyour stay ithinkyoull find alot tostimulate your mind..& a ton of total stupidity as well
Yes, I hate the bible belt. I plan to move to the north which is more secular, or even better, completely away from America.
Welcome, Stratovarius, to the Hip Forums. That's a great introductory post and you're going thru what others have had to endure. Your post sounds alot like my past. I started out in north AL but now live in the Tampa bay region; great open minded community with rich culture! What part of the world would you like to live in? Tolerate your family while you must, they won't always be around, ya know, but that doesn't make it more bearable now, does it? Be strong and try to forget the bad stuff; learn to enjoy the little things that can brighten our days and make the world spin a little smoother. I hope to see you post here often!
Welcome to the forums, Spencer! It sucks when there are folks who are against ya because of the way you feel, but stand your ground nonetheless! You'll find your place in the world soon!
