Got one Mom question.

tell your school and go to social services, hell tell your mother you'll go to social services.

Are you serious??!?!?!?!? I think that you either have no children, or do not have a good relationship with your parents.

Look, I told the original poster to not back down, and to frame this as an individual, adult decision, but I didn't tell them to blackmail their parents.

 

You must not get around much in this forum, then

What is he going to tell them?

"OH my mommy is threatening to cut off my hair if I don't get good grades!"

They'll laugh in his face. There are harsher and more abusive things going on to children these days...they can't be troubled with kids not being able to follow simple rules.

BWAHAHA! Are you freakin' kidding me? Child abuse for cutting off kid's hair? LOL you never grew up in my household because what I grew up with was REALLY abuse. Name calling and self esteem smashing. Belts, paddles, smacks...

THAT'S abuse...give me a break, man...his mother saying that she'll cut off his hair if he doesn't get good grades is not abuse it's CONSEQUENCES for ACTIONS. When I was growing up, I used to love to read...what happened if I was "bad" or didn't follow the rules? I'd get smacked around and cussed at...then I'd get my books taken away because that was punishment for my actions.

In the real world there are consequences to one's actions...that's how life is.

 

thats how your life is and I feel very sorry for you, luckily for both of us as we will be no longer be interacting on here, I won't be exploring the issue with you any more
good luck in your search for serenity, I think you have a long way to go
S

 

Why? Because you don't have an argument and you sounded like a fool?

That's a reason not to reply to my posts anymore.

We are all eternally searching for serenity...and we all have a long way to go. I'm just saying it's ridiculous to yell "wolf" for something as silly as this.

 

Annie, I agree with you. Suggesting to get the authorities involved to blackmail one's parents speaks of much more distance from serenity than sharing the difficulties of one's childhood.

 

I'm not sure thers any point in us continueing to argue about this, however the example I would give you is that if your boss told you he would cut your hair, you could go to the police and have him charged with intimadation, if he did then cut it you could have him charged with assault.
at the moment this persons mother is abusing him psychologically just by the threat.
I'm actually very dismayed that there are actually people on this thread argueing in defense of this persons mother.
a person that has no idea of laying down healthy boundries with a child.
and if she is doing nothing wrong by threatening to cut his hair then she has no reason to fear him reporting it to the school, children have rights and parents aren't always right.

now by all means respond to this, but after this I'm not going to post in this thread again, unless I feel someones coming from this from another angle, cause at the moment we're just going round in circles.

and not that I have to explain myself to you I have a good relationship with both my perants, but then they knew how to establish healthy boundries
S

 

No..its not ok...I have 4 kids and 5 grandbabies..and I cant imagine using their looks as a barter system for grades...my god...why not sit down with them and work on the schoolwork together..or get a tutor...never ever would I use humiliation as a weapon against one of my babies !!!!!

 

I must admit I think its ironic that your name is 'HavePatience' and you are supporting someone cutting off their childs hair if they don't get good grades, doesn't sound like moms got much patience
S

 

I know what your going to say...and yes..its a weapon..it inflicts mental injury....Im sure you wouldnt like it if someone did the same to you dancer annie just because you didnt match your wardrobe quite right !!!!........c'mon...land on me a little !!!!

 

I really love you!
S

 

I think the really sad thing is that I work with adults with mental difficulties, many have ended up this way, because of this type of awful up bringing, I'm not blaming the mother here really, her up brnging can't be that good to even consider this as an option
S

 

I think my mom loseend down after a while oh and I get to have a tattoo for my 16th birth day also ^^ 2 months away!

 

well its prompted a good discussion if nothing else, you think she was joking about cutting your hair?
S

 

Scorpius,

I feel for you, man. i'm a mom and I would never use a move like that to get good grades outta my children. Its their hair and their self expression. My man even has big fat dreads so it would be like if he didnt perform well either i can just snip one off?

I would use something else as an example.. when there grades have fallen I sit them down and find out whats wrong.. why the grades are slipping.. i dont think an expression of freedom reflects on that... it would be a matter of talking and finding out and then dealing with the problem.. more school work more studying trouble areas. High school is not easy for everyone.

 

its good to see another compassionate and sensible answer to this debate
S

 

Psychological abuse? Hardly. It's called CONSEQUENCES TO ACTIONS.

And the boss example is not a valid one. I'm not living under my boss's roof, nor am I a minor

 

Mental injury? You must never have lived in a REAL abusive household.

 

Well, if his dreads truly mean something to him, beside fashion, I mean (I'm sure it's not a fashion thing), then it really is damaging his psyche. It is mental injury.

 

hmm...iono. part of me is like, "dude, that's a really good idea! like, i might say that to my kid, but i wouldn't go through with it at all!" but part of me is like "it's your life, you should be able to choose what you wanna do"

 

Samhain, your dichotomizing, judgemental perspective was ignored as soon as you said you were leaving.

I never said that I supported his parents using his hair to manipulate his emotions. In fact, if you'll look back through what I've said, you'll find that I encouraged him to sit down, talk to his mother, and explain that this was an individual decision that he was ready to make as a young adult.

Hmm, that does seem patient, doesn't it?

Listen, we are all well-intentioned here, but if you want to mispercieve the intentions of others and judge us for your own misconceptions, than I have no more to say to you other than that I hope you understand why several of us reacted to you like this.