Got one Mom question.

while I still stand by the fact that I think this is a form of Psychological abuse and he is within his rights to seek support and advice outside the family unit, reading back on this thread I clearly see that you have not supported his parents in this and have offered other options, so I apologise to you for jumping to this conclusion
S

 

Dancer annie..you have no idea how my life has been..but I assure you I KNOW abuse..

 

people shouldn't be making this debate personnal, Ok discuss views and disagreemnets, however I think bringing peoples personnal history into it, unless it is offered by the individual themselves, is under hand and a low way of trying to win a debate
S

 

I'll agree that threats are not an acceptable parenting tool, and his mother perhaps was a little out of line. BUT, debating whether or not it's abuse is doing nothing for his poor grades, which is the real issue here. And if he isn't even trying to do better in school, it is his parent's place to discipline him as they see fit, seeing as how he is showing absolutely no self-discipline in this matter. And, yes, your boss can threaten you if he doesn't like your hair. He can fire you if you do not fit the image the company wishes to maintain. That's an effective threat, and it's perfectly legal. He doesn't have to cut off your hair himself, but he is the one in control, and if you do not comply, you can go find a job somewhere else.

At 15, dreads are not a right, they are a privilege. Parents can and do often remove privileges when child's behavior is not acceptable. Not that I agree with that, but it's not abuse, any more than enforcing any other rules would be (now that issue certainly *is* debatable, but not here, not in this thread, not in this forum, not right now).

 

Why not take away the childs T.v. or stereo....but, to actually do something to alter the childs looks is cruel. Kids are fighting self image issues at that age...its terrible to feel ugly !!!....thats all I was saying, I raised 4 , 2 boys and 2 girls , and yes rules have to be kept in place...but not at the expense of the childs appearance which can affect how the child feels about themselves. How about a good old fashioned grounding and extra chores ???

 

Classics...

 

I agree with the classic grounding and all I was a bad kid a few years ago then I matured and grew up I use to smoke and get caught, get arrested for stupid shit I changed nad I explained that to my mom, I do believe her Idea is good but it does a mind fuck to you if they do mean to you and they do mean something to me, I did change but there is still a Rebel/Crazy part of me still left. That's all I got to say about my own problem HAHA

 

Scorpius, never lose that rebellious edge. But do figure out a way to work into your life so that it is fueling you, and not fighting you.

It was hard for me, but I was able to do it. I hated school, I still hate authority, and the last semester of high school was very, very challenging in ways that few people would understand. But I stuck it out, and as I matured, I developed an increasing personal discipline.

Now I've been to China to teach English on a United Nations scholarship, all the while academically pursuing theories of anarchy and intentional communities. The idea is to take your passion and let it nurture you. If you ever find yourself in a position that your passion is hindering you, than it is likely an issue with personal discipline.

What does this have to do with your mom cutting your hair? Nothing, it's just a little advice from a 21-year old who remembers what it's like to be 15, who's managed to make something of himself and who has scarily over-developed paternal instincts.

=)

Namaste

 

Thanks for the input 8D