Has anyone here never been in love?

Anyone?
Well I haven't, and it makes me sad.
I'm 21 and (This is going to sound really pathetic whichever way I put it) I have never even kissed a girl before. Most of my life i've been extremely shy and I also have chronic social anxiety. I just don't know how to approach a girl AT ALL, or even if I did i'd never know how to act around her because of worrying what she thinks of me all the time. The only time I approached a girl, I tried to talk to her and she just plainly ignored me...I felt like the ugliest, most unattractive person in the world at that moment. It feels like time is running out and I feel i've been left behind. My self esteem is a big issue, in that I have none and i'm always so self-critical. Do you think i'll ever find someone or am I a lost cause???
I apologise for the pathetic self pity...

 

No, you're not a lost cause. If you haven't been in love, at least you haven't had your heart broken yet...it would take a while for me to count how many times mine's been broken...don't worry, you'll get there...everybody does, sooner or later....

 

People say it's better to of loved then lost than to of never loved before.
I disagree. I've had my heart shattered and thrown back at me 3 times (after long relationships - years), and trust me it's the worst feeling you could ever imagine. Probably worse than how you're feeling now.
On the plus side, you're only 21, that's not exactly old. Salvage the moment, man - you're bound to find someone in all the years you have left to live.

 

If you're looking for some sexual experience to give you the confidence to approach women and start dating, maybe you should see a "professional." You know, the ones who advertise in the yellow pages and will come to your home for your "therapy sessions?"

Lots of people think negative things about escorts, but I'm sure you could call around and find a woman who can help you with your sexual skills and confidence levels. In fact, many escorts work with men who have socialization issues that prevent them from dating and DO help build up their confidence and skills to become well-adjusted men who get girlfriends and all that good stuff.

 

As for true love... yes, I have loved. I have loved 2 men, one of which I am still with after nine years. It's beautiful, it's hard work, it's sometimes messy, but it's worth everything. I know that when you get there, Vicar, it will have been worth the wait!

 

i am in love as of december or so, she is pretty much all i think about, i have declining grades, im in trouble alot because i go over to her house and stay an hour or two late cuz we lose track of time just talking. im not a particularly atcractive guy in my own opinion, but she doesnt even care about that, she likes me for who i am, if your a jerk to girls they wont like you, but i guess she could like me because i worship her like a temple? who knows, anyway, im just going to tell you this: before i met her i wanted to drop out of school, i was a social outcast, a real mess, now she taught me to be socialy appropriate, and i have alot more friends becase she taught me how to get along with people and how to show my sensitive time. i guess what the message of my blaberin is this: you will eventually meet the person you are met to be with, and you will suddenly forget about this whole problem you have now, and either it will work out and you will live happily ever after, or life will suck and you will hte everything, guys are more fragile then gals think.

 

Giggidy Giggidy aaaalllllllll RIGHT!

 

I haven't got anything smart to say that hasn't been said allready except for the fact that I REALLY respect people like you who can admit things like not having kissed a girl at 21. If everyone would be as open as you are things would be allot easier for others who have/think they have a problem. That's all really...My first post!

 

I agree man, full respect for coming out with it all.

and welcome to the forums sofa king stupid!!

 

Yes it is refreshing that you are so honest....

Personally in the time before hooked up with any girls (maybe 9 months ago so i'm not pretending to be a master)

My freind who been preety active, told well that i was at zero, and he was in the negatives

but basically that it was better that it was better to never know then to love and be heart broken

That is bullshit!
sry for cussing, i rarely do here but seriously it is better to be heartbroken then to always be on the edge to never be cared for or cared about, before i was basically in realtionships that had no emotion or physical payoff, and it almost killed. Sure i've been sad depressed, emotional unrest, sucidal insane but looking back i loved every moment

Each pain is always paired with a good memory, and is worth it every time, and if it one day kills me it was worth it, becasue without them i never would of been alive

stay with me.....here

i got lucky, very lucky, and when you breack through i found that my confidence soared, before i was like fucking A why i here, i out of place and i have no one that wants to hold me near. She liked, me and i liked her, and it was short but intense, and i found with each new realtionship you learn more about how to get into one, and basically how the vast the world is

If you are passionite about something, and don't become cynical then finding someone is about being yourself, at best you can be

you prob need to look for people that relate more to you what do you really like, what craft do you make, but yes you do need confidence, espically in conversations, but i'm talking aobut more serious stuff if you just want a kiss you could go clubing, but personally the kiss were great and all but it's just flesh at the best, and what you can feel is so much greater
thank you for staying with me

 

yep...been in love and i thought it was amazing. you could never desribe the feeling. you'd know it when it finds you...unless you find it.

too bad it didnt last. but it was fun anyway and i loved and been loved by someone so i will never that feeling although i should...but i dont gotta.

 

be happy your heart hasnt been crushed yet, you will meet someone someday sometime. it comes when you least expect it.

 

Don't worry dude! The first kiss i got was at 19...the first time i did "it" was 4 days later .....we were madly in love from day one..it was something..amazing . Our relationship grew.....expanded.....and 1 week ago she said she doesn't love me anymore. I don't hold any grudges i know that what she gave me and the moments we shared will never come again and i'm also aware that you can't force someone to love you. So find someone that is for you and start something..if it does not last long..be happy for the times you had.... as people said here..it is better to love and loose than not love at all. Peace out

 

I've been crushed in many ways before I found my love.

 

Sure....I been in love one time.....it was the most amazing thing besides the birth of my babies and grandbabies Ive been witness to.....it was well worth the heartbreak

 

Honestly, I experienced being inloved with someone these few months ago unfortunately, he doesnt love me back... and it hurts a lot... we've known one another for about 6 years and only this year I felt something to him... I like him for who really is and I'd like to spend my entire life with him but after i had open up about my feelings to him, he doesnt talk with me anymore... i dont know why... maybe he doesnt really like me... and now im learning on how to let go and move on... I feel sad that we didnt talk anymore but I felt comfortable after I confronted my feelings to him...

BE STRONG & HONEST FOR YOURSELF! THERE'S NOTHING WRONG TELLING THE TRUTH! THIS IS A FACT THAT TRUTH HURTS YOU BUT WE'RE LEARNING FROM IT!
​

​

 

I think i came close once, but seeing as ive never truely felt it i can only guess i was close (i'm only 16)

 

love sucks if you cant have it....but if you can, its the sweetest thing.

 

I'm so much like you. and so much older. Fight, fight your shyness. get mad at yourself and put yourself in social areas with others and Make yourself talk to any and ever girl within ear shot. good or bad. I wish i could take my own advice but.. well.. dont need to tell you.. you know.

 

Yea plus you learn about yourself from the experience. It doesnt always end with a broken heart, although usually it does. I hope if i fall in love again it wont end like my last one did, i wasnt ready to break up