im so crazy about her ive never cared so much abotu some one but when ti coems to sexual things we could not be mroe opposite....i have fetishes which im affraid to bring up to her she is against oral sex and very against anal sex i dont want to "change" her because i lvoe her how she is i just want her to discover her wild side please help me otu with ideas to do this
Some people aren't sexually compatible... Communicate. Tell her what you want from her...have her tell you what she wants from you. THEN compromise. Of course we don't always get what we want, but if you love her you sometimes have to give in a little... If you can't communicate these sort of things...you may as well kiss the relationship goodbye.
Ask her what her fantasies are, what turns her on... showing interest in her before talking about your own fantasies makes it seem less like your'e jsut trying to push on her what you like, and more like you're just trying to share information.
Most people are not going to just switch their sexual additudes overnight. I would say if you can't be happy with her in the long term unless the sex routine changes you are just setting yourself up for heartache. So you can either live with it or you can't. Then only exception is like the last poster said and you are still teenagers. In that case she just may not accept/be aware of her sexualality yet. Don't assume you can change someone though. If you want to try you are better off finding what you want in the first place before something like kids complicates it further.
Perhaps your gf isn't really against doing oral/anal/ and other things, but maybe she is just afraid to try them before because she is inexperienced? I wouldn't rush her, especially if she is weary about trying them.
Isn't it a bit arrogant to assume that she has a "wild side" that she doesn't know about (but you will help her discover.)
Some people are not wild. Some people have issues that cause them to not be willing to participate in oral or anal sex. I used to have a friend who would have a panic attack if a guy tried to get her to go down on him because she had been molested as a child and had not worked through that yet. So don't assume you can just magically break her out of her shell. And, if anal is something that is important to you, I suggest moving on. As a woman who has explored her wild side as much as she is willing to, I am against having anal sex. If a guy would not stop trying to get me to explore that wild side, it would be grounds for dumping. We each have our interests and our limits. If something that is important to you is off limits for her, move on. If you don't, it will only hurt both of you more later when you go fuck around because you're not satisfied at home.
yea i agree & just wanna add anal isnt for everyone..neither is oral..& if shes not intoit maybe u should just respect that & not try to bring that out of her why should it be all about what you want anyways? are you sure your giving her all she wants? have you even concidered that? if u put her needs 1st, u may just find 1 say she'll concider yours more important too its not about what u can get..but what you can give..give her what she wants & needs and she'll be more confortable exploring more, but if your constantly saying i need i want ..she'll only feel like she needs to close off more to protect her ass (literaly)
if your not going to give me advice please do not disect my relationship and blame me for everything. you do not understand the situation (i have learnign disablitys in communication so i cant exactly explain our 3 month relationship in a paragraph) you do not know her or me it is not your place. now i will try to clairify myself i a little more i am no0t trying to get her to particpate in anal sex or fetishes or stuff liek that i was just trying to show how diffrent we both are. i just want more of a phyical relationship after 3 months i believe we should have escalated from just kissing....she wont even let me give her a massage (and i dotn mean full body i mean just shoulders) i just want soem advice on how to help her become more comfortable with me ... i fine going slow but at the moment we are sittign still and those relationships fall apart. so to those of you who have given me advice and helped out thank you so much. those of you who are jsut judging me pelase keep your opinions to your self im havign a hard enough time right now
hm, this sounds quite similar to me and my ex, he was very physical, and i was much happier just talking and getting to know what he thought about things. i heard somewhere, and i think this is probably true as i'm the same, that women are turned on by guys' minds. they want them to talk to them, they want to feel a connection, feel like they're on the same level. your girlfriend sounds like me in that she's quite reserved when it comes to physical stuff, it certainly takes me a while to feel comfortable with a guy, and even when i do, i don't rush things. contributing to the problem with my ex was the fact that he never took the time to really get to know me, and 'connect' with me. connecting is so important! it's what makes women go from (almost) tolerating an embrace, to actually wanting it. with shy women especially, knowing someone well is a big turn-on. my advice to you then, is not to push her. if you push, even if you're trying to help her, and she gives in, it's likely that she'll have negative associations with the experience afterwards...and these may pass on to you. a herd of buffalo can only move at the slowest one's pace after all! if you let the relationship grow, and let her find her own way, then you'll reap the rewards. time, if you spend it wisely, also improves things because she'll get to know you, and become more comfortable and more attracted to you. it's a long process, but she'll be ready eventually. in the meantime, enjoy her personality, listen to her and have good quality conversations. mental attraction matures into physical attraction eventually good luck, be patient (and i mean patient!) and don't stress!
I don't see any posts on here that are just judging you. You posted on a public message board asking for advice. Given the information you posted, people responded. As you have cleared things up a bit, I must say that three months is nothing. How well do you know this girl? Were you friends before you started dating, or have you only known each other for three months? Some people take longer than others. I've known people who dated for years without actually having sex (of any variety, I'm not talking about the idiots who think anal sex is not real sex and that they can still call themselves virgins after participating in that). If you feel that you might be in love with this girl, all you can do is wait for her to be ready. Otherwise, move on. If you pressure her, depending on what kind of person she is, you will either make her resent you for pushing her into something she didn't want or you will make her dump you. I have always been the type that, if a guy starts to pressure me, he's gone, I've got better ways to spend my time. But, I've also had friends who did get pressured into stuff and felt disgusted/used/disgusting afterward. Only a worthless piece of garbage would want to make a girl feel that way. (And, before you jump to the defense about my judgment there, I'm judging the behavior and giving you the benefit of the doubt that you are better than that, that you won't want to be that kind of person.)
The solution would probably be much clearer, as I think they are probably quite young...and the girl is PROBABLY a virgin.
After 3 months you want to escalate things to oral & anal sex... and that makes her a prude? Wow. Unless you two have known each other for a LONG time already and that three months is just the time you've been a couple, I'd have to say that maybe she's just not ready? Truly, from what you've told us it sounds like you're pushing her. First of all, that's just never okay. And second, you'll scare her off. Sorry, but that's the truth. love, mom
Sounds like he likes the poopy dick though! LOL that was kind of out of liine...but I'm still not sorry.
ok A. read my posts and it will explain to you that anal sex and oral is nto what im looking for im just using that as an example to show how diffrent we are when it coems to sexual thnigs B. im 19 shes 18 C. i have never pushed her we have gotten in moral debates about this but i have never asked her to do anythnig she doesnt want to do im just asking for advice for helping her become more comfortable with me D. i was refeerign to the person who called me arrogant when i asked all of you to stop judging me
I may be way off the beam here, but some women I know who simply don't want to be touched have either deep religious beliefs that prevent them from demostrating their affection, or they may have suffered abuse in the past. If it's the former, then it's going to take a lot of time and a very serious commitment, not just going steady. If it's an abuse reflex, then I'm sorry for you because that's something you're not going to solve for her. That's strictly the place for professionals to help. Hopefully it's neither and time and patience will solve it. But it's got to be on her time schedule. Don't assume you're going to change her attitude once she discovers sex... maybe so, but I wouldn't bet on it. The only thing that's going to make any difference is communication and patience.
