Just kind of venting... don't mind me.

I'm posting this here because there's nowhere else I can post it, and no one who I can talk about it with.

Recently on Facebook (something like Myspace), I added my boyfriend Andy as my official boyfriend on the site, and whenever you change anything on your page, including relationship status, it goes to this news feed thing, so people see everything you update. Needless to say, all my friends on Facebook (all of whom I know in person, unlike Myspace... ugh) know I have a boyfriend. Which is totally fine, I want it to be that way.

A couple days ago, one of my brother's friends sent me a message saying that he was proud of me for being brave enough to be open about my sexuality and stuff like that. I thought it was sweet and really nice of him.

Today, that same friend of my brother's talked to me online, and he told me that the reason why he brought it up to me was because he's gay. I would have never expected it. To me he seemed like the pretty stereotypical straight boy. He's a sophomore in college, like my older brother. He isn't out to most people except his parents and one of his friends. I'm really glad he told me though, because I remember how awesome it felt when I could share my feelings with people.

But anyway, he was talking about how it would be hard to come out because he has like 4 roommates or something like that, and he thinks they'd be fine with him being gay, but they might not still want to be his roommate. He was also talking about how he was kind of down recently, because one of his roommates is in a really great relationship with this really great girl. I totally remember that feeling before I came out, when one of my straight friends would be in a relationship and I'd get so incredibly jealous because I'd never be able to be in one of those classic romantic relationship with a girl. I was also talking about how he'll never have kids and stuff, and how his parents will never have grandkids from him. It just seemed like he'd been keeping a lot of stuff inside, and he just wanted to let it all out. It made me really sad, because for all this time I thought he was straight and he was like living a really awesome life with girls and whatnot, while this whole time he's been struggling with his sexuality and realizing that relationships with girls just won't work for him. I was just really glad he could open up to me, even though he doesn't know me very well.

He also gave me hope in the seemingly-straight guys who are actually closeted gay guys. I mean I would have never guessed that he's gay. It gives me hope because I realize that there are probably tons and tons of guys just like him that are in situations where they just don't feel comfortable coming out. And I totally understand that.


I wrote this because I needed to tell someone, and I can't tell any of my friends because they all know him.

I don't expect any replies. Again, this was just me venting.

 

Well your gonna get a reply . You sound like a really great guy, only someone very caring would take the time to talk to someone about an issue like this that they don't know very well. Sounds like your buddy's in a very tight situation, and I think it'll just take time for him to become ok with himself being gay before telling others. Maybe it's a new discovery even for him (thats why you might have thought he was the stereotypical guy) and he's dealing with the internal problems of accepting himself. Your a great guy to help him out and should be very proud. Wish em good luck, and tell him to keep his head up. Maybe you could even encourage him or help him come to a point that he is ready to come out...I don't know just rambling on.

 

Aww, I imagine him having you to talk to about all this really helped him out, you did a good deed dude

 

Thanks. I do feel pretty good about it. And I also just felt really bad for him because I was in exactly the same place as him before I came out. Except not at college. At the end of our conversation, he said, "Oh my roommate's back. Gotta go. Bye." And that was the end. :-/

 

And you should feel great about it dude - he's taking the first step on his journey and he's starting it with you...We all come to terms with ourselves eventually - it took me 30 years, but that was when I was ready - we all have our reasons, and in hindsight we may say we shouldn't have waited as long as we did, but when I came out and who I come out to moved along with my comfort zone and each person is different...what matters is the support we get when we do - and you're a great person to be there for support

 

man Amp, you are an awesome guy for your brothers friend to come out to you. You have a level head and are very birght, you will know what to say to him, if anything.

 

You are a verry special soul....