do people see you as being gay ?

after reading a post by Amp7325, it got me to thinking about how people perceive us. Hopefully this hasn't been asked and I didn't add it to that post because I didn't want to highjack it with this one.

do people see/know you as being gay ? by that, I mean when you come out to them they say "oh, I figured so or I already knew that". I usually get "really ? I never suspected. wow I'm totally blown away"

I am one of those guys, if you met me, you'd never suspect me of being gay. I've been told this more than once and I don't understand why they think this. I don't "try to act gay" and don't "try not to act gay", if that makes sense. I'm just me and dance to the tune in my head.

I hope this doesn't come off as egotistical, it isn't meant that way. I am just curious.

 

Some people who dont know me never suspect, only because I have 4 kids.

 

Although I'm gay, I don't feel inclined to be a poster child for it...I've always thought of myself as a guy who happens to be attracted to other guys...I don't know if that sounds like I'm denying who I am, but that IS who I am...

 

I completly agree with you, being gay is only one aspect of my personnality, so why should I be defined by it?
S

 

some ppl have asked me weather i'm gay (usually girls or gay-ppl) and i'm not gonna lie them.
they've said that i look a lot younger than i actually am (i'm 20 but some say that i'm more like 16 or 17) and that i'm too trandy for being straight. so it's not a big surprise when some1 finds out that i'm completely gay.

 

people think im straight because im still stuck in the closet.
but i see many people as being gay ,alot of the time their is guys looking at you and when you see them staring at you they rapidly turn around or look in a different direction..or when they say/do something very werid/odd i honestly say in my mind "this person cannot be straight" ....

 

OK - I know what you're trying to say, whether you know what you actually said or not...While straight people automatically ASSUME everyone is straight - we do the opposite - ASSUME that everyone is gay unless they prove otherwise! Also, when you're thinking "this person cannot be straight" - don't you think they might be saying the same thing about you? Nothing is wrong with it, dude - but you might be missing some opportunities to meet other gay guys...

 

No one has ever guessed or even suspected that I am Bi with out my telling them. It is conveinent sometimes, but can also be annoying. I mean, some times I don't want to come right out and say it, and I like to just drop hints and hope others will catch on, but they never do.

 

If a person didn't know me and they saw me somewhere, they wouldn't know I'm gay. If they started talking to me, they probably wouldn't know I'm gay. They'd probably only know if I was gay if they asked me, or if they had amazing gaydar.

 

Yeah, no one ever knows Im gay, and usually takes me CONVINCING them that Im gay for them to believe me. hehe. When i first came out it was almost annoying, because people were just like: "haha, funny dylan..." and i was like "i AM." haha whatever. like others have said, i dont really try not to be gay, and i dont try to be. i just am.
anywho,
cheers and love,
dylan

 

I just be myself, people will precieve me in different ways. Only two people know I'm actually bi, and they are my two best friends. They sorta had a feeling, but didn't know for sure.

 

Hahaha, same for me sometimes. My boyfriend's best friend didn't believe I was gay when we first met. She thought I was bi and she wanted to have a threesome with me and Andy. I was just like "ehhhhhhhh no. I like the cock. Get out."

 

^hahahaha

When I told my two best friends, one of them was totally blown away and said "WOW! I never guessed..."

And the other one said "oh, I DID."

So I'm not quite sure what that means. It has this same pattern with other people I tell, too.

 

Hmm... I got asked that once directly 5+ years ago, way way way way long ago when I was still in Fifth grade. And once somewhere from a year to two years ago. Probably people stereotyping me, due to how scrawny I am, my stature, and my "Say no to haircuts" attitude. I used to get mistaken for gay all the time, over the internet when I used to have something with a microphone, all because I just liked making fun of the STEREOTYPICAL gay lisp, and simply found playing with my flexible voice amusing.

I generally come accross as pretty asexual, actually. But I am so non-Mainstream, and rather deficient in the 'conformity spectrum', that one would figure something could be up. My stuborness to not conform to male gender roles, and rather prominent metrosexuality, makes things not so suprising. I am not 'camp' at all, but I highly disdain people trying to force gender roles on me. I guess my vanity, combined with gender non-conformity and just how small my build is, makes a lot of people question me. Of course nearly everyone, once they talk to me anywhere from a few hours, to several discussions over sometimes even months, eventually has a tendency to consider me of homosexual orientation, once I answer enough questions.

Part of what makes it so hard to tell with me sometimes, has to do with the fact, that I am attracted to next to no masculinity, so I guess many assume that suddenly means I want females more. Many people cannot tell the difference, between attraction to males, and attraction to masculinity. Just like many of them cannot tell the difference between attraction to females, and feminimity. A understandable but rather flawed judgement.

Then again my views on orientation, sex and gender are far different from most of societys. I'd say most people who get to know me, who seem broadminded enough for me to trust them, usually figure out I lean less to the 'normal' side, after enough discussions but then theres just always the fact that I am downright confusing.

 

People that I have talked to say they never really suspected it, but they wern't really surprised either.

 

I, amazingly enough, don't seem to give off much of a gay vibe at all. I don't give off a sexual vibe period, people usually can't believe I'm as sexual as I am as they think "you're too sweet to be nasty". Ugh, I get that all the time.

 

...

 

So you aren't attracted to women at all? Not even a little bit? You wouldn't even try it out once?

 

same here, im still in the closet lol, and even wen i come out i wont act or dress any different than i do now, lol, i dont act or dress in a way that anyone could guess that im gay, the only way someone would know is if i told them, other than that all my friends think im anti gay...

 

lol omg... i love gravitation too