:$ I hate hate crimes. What is wrong with this day and age? I want the 60s back when love abounded. Well, there was even a lot of violence back in the day, but, at least it wasn't among brothers so much. These days, people kill each other on the same blocks where they grew up and even kill and mame their own relatives. It's rediculous! I live in one of the worse counties for violent crimes in the US. I'm thinking about starting a campaign against it and would like ideas how I can involve the concepts of the 60s in my handouts which would attract the attention of our younger people mostly. Not because there's more crime among their age group, but because they are the future we depend on for improvement. My son is 27, recently stabbed by some dude wanting 40 bucks. He is the only witness to what happened and even if he wasn't, the neighborhood it happened in where he was working seems like the kind of place where the neighbors would have pulled down shades and closed windows just to avoid involvement. I can't blame them for thinking that way because they probably know that if they get involved they might be the next victim. Where does it end?
Thanks for this topic. I think the real battle is perhaps spiritual in nature. People are violent with their kids right out in public in the grocery store while waiting in line and people turn a blind eye to it. I think we are so numb to violence and we see violent acts and it doesn't even register. You know the next kid you see being hit or kicked out in public by and adult could be the kid that goes to school or somewhere else out in the world and does what was done to your son. I think anything that needs to change in society needs to start with the children.
I think you're right on track with the violence being taught through parenting, although, maybe not always. My husband was a cab driver years ago. After allowing me to ride with him once, he would never again. A few decent passengers and then, uh oh...I have a big mouth! A woman gets in with two little ones and after listening to her constant threats and telling them she hated them, I couldn't take anymore. I turned around and asked her if she realized how ugly she sounded. She looked astonished. The kids just looked at me like nobody probably ever said anything about her vebals before. When she got out, my husband said, "you could have gotten us both killed". He's actually right, but, I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut, and, I don't care if the whole world knows it...I will NOT pull down my shades or close my windows when there's violence in my area. Matter of fact, I'll be the first one at the scene with my camera in hand and the first one to testify afterwards! let them kill me! Then, I go back to my Maker in peace and there's one less criminal on the block! I am just so angry.
Look-one of the main themes of the 60's was that people needed to love each other and care about what happened to one another, and help each other. People today think that's 'corny'. I don't. Look at the music in the 60's. It was about peace and love and caring about each other. Now the music is violent and it glorifies violence. The whole attitude of the country has completely changed. And not for the better, either.
I don't see anything wrong with spanking. I DO see a lot wrong with HOW it's done. First, I don't believe it should be done in the heat of the moment. Send the child to his room till you've had time to cool off. Second, it should never hurt to the point of being an emotional down. it should actually hurt you more than it hurts the child!!! Most important, it should definitely NOT be an every day occurance. If life with your child is that tough, seek counceling. My child's dad had to spank my son three times the whole time we raised him. I can remember each time. It was never harsh and we always explained why. I never actually spanked him myself, but, disciplined in other ways. Oh, and also, I don't believe in using anything other than your hand. I heard a pastor once telling people to never use hands, as, the child would then associate touch with hurt. That seems rediculous to me. To the contrary, it can be dangerous to use other things because you can't tell how hard you're hitting.
Spanked is ok... abused is not. Too many are abused and that's part of the problem also. Yep, I can't agree more on the need for discipline. On the other hand, I see children being dragged around by their little arms, off of buses and through stores. I hear adults telling their kids to go to * or go get *ed. I know of a few children who tell me their parents keep threstening to put them into homes and one who even told me that his mom said if it weren't for the checks she gets for his disability, she would have left his dad raise him. I had to stop the mom from beating up her son one time when he threw his new Cookie Monster into the dish water while throwing a tantrum. Worse than that, I went to a friend's apartment one night and found his roommate's boy handcuffed to a daybed. I asked why and he told me she does that to him when she catches him stealing. needless to say, she didn't have the chance or even want it, to raise either of her children after that. That was many years ago. Those are the children we see now as young adults, committing crimes on our streets. It seems to be getting worse too. Something has to change or we're in for some serious future problems.
The other day I was wondering why there are so many evil people in the world. Why do they kill people who did nothing to them? I wish constantly that more people were for love and peace like in the 60's... Love is stronger than hate. We ARE so immune to violence and its disgusting. We let our fucking kids play grand theft auto and watch some gun movies. Do parents really think thats okay? I think a big problem with society IS parenting - I think its the root to a few problems. And people kill people for money, and I think thats sick. Money is material, a life is so much more. I'm SO glad I'm not alone in wanting love and peace and being willing to fight for it.
The way I see the problem is like this- there are a lot more people in the country now and we are living closer together than ever before; and we lve in a time when government knows no restraint. In the 60's there were fewer people and fewer overall regualtions, wereas today we are so overcrowded and over regulated that it becomes difficult fix the problems that need fixing. I think we will need to all stand together and build a better society before the violence will decrease.
Problem is ( How do we fight for it? ). I can't even imagine how to get through to these dumb butts ! Cops are too scared to even go onto the bad blocks. If they're called it takes them forever to get there because they don't want to show up till all the action's over. I'm frustrated. I actually have been trying to help make changes in my city for about 6-7 years now. I work for Red Cross and United Way. I'm a court appointed advocate for kids so they'll have someone to speak up for them in the judicial system. I even do fundraisers for all the best, most charitable orgs in town. Nothing seems to help. I'm not wanting quick miracles, but, it seems to me the harder people try to make a difference the more the difference goes in the wrong direction. I would like to go talk in the public schools but my son won't let me mention what happened to him. As though it's HIS shame! All he did was work and get stabbed and robbed! That's another part of the problem. If more people would speak up, the law enforcement would have to either do their job or be discredited publicly for not doing it. In fact, that's what I'm telling him as soon as I see him again. Might help get through to him, especially since he was really down on the cops for taking almost twenty minutes to get to him on a call like that!
The problem is I think people don't know the difference between discipline and violence. I know people who think the saying "spare the rod and spoil the child" means to hit a child with a stick. A shepard has a "rod" and a "staff" he uses these tools to keep the sheep from falling off of cliffs and to keep from straying he does not beat the animals with these tools they are for protection and correcting. I think the bible uses metaphore of God being like a shepard watching over His flock people being His sheep so to say. I here people calling their kids...MF, SOB, little F---ers, $hit and other unhealthy things. We say words don't hurt but they do and so does hitting. Words parents use to call their kids stick in their minds. I am so glad my parents never called me with curse words. To hit a child in the face or head especially a small child is a very negative message not to mention the delicate organs in head the eyes and ears and even the sinuses can be damaged with a slap to the head on a small child. I wish some of these adults who hit their children in the head could picture in their minds how it would feel if someone twice their size hit them in the face and not to mention the humilation of being hit in public it just blows my mind that people will slap their kids i the line at the local grocery store. I have definatly almost been hurt for saying something to parents hitting their children. Not long ago someone was going to try and kick my butt over me saying something to her about hitting her child in the head. Someone with her came and pulled her away from me.. I really regret not reporting her cause I think anyone trying to defend their right to be violent is a little sick in the head. All I saw is another child growing up thinking that violence is an acceptable way to be related to and with. 0
I think a lot of todays violence and rage can be traced to the pressure to succeed by any means. Success is the only measurement, not the means that got the person there. Look at the pressure on kids today for high SATs from an early age. Kids aren't allowed to be kids anymore. Their activities are scheduled and targeted for later success. Look at the success of reality based media, where individuals are voted out of the group and only one wins. What does that teach our kids. Look at sports where drug use is epidemic, because it leads to stars who draw outrageous contracts. What's the first thing new people ask you when they meet you? "What do you do?" Like how much you make, where you live and what you drive is what you are....that shouldn't be true. Everyone is someone. It's time to measure one another for our humanity, not our material gains.
Ok, now I have an idea. Insread of concentrating on how to fix the problems, maybe it would be better to talk to people about how the problems got started. In fact, that's where this discussion went. It went from a problem straight into a discussion on the reasons FOR the problem. You're right, kids aren't allowed to be kids any more. That's probably partially the reason so many drop out these days, to try to conquer their youth. I never could understand why we try so hard to beat other countries on SATs or even why there is state to state competition. Reality based media, I don't even watch. It's boring to me, but maybe I should take a look at some of it just to see what they're pumping into our kids brains. Sports aren't simply for fun and entertainment. Everyone in that biz seems to be driven to WIN! And, wow, I get that question a lot...what do you do for a living? I actually work harder than most of the jerks who ask me and don't have a 9-5. Not to put down those who do, but, fact is, most of what I do, I don't get paid for. In fact, most of the volunteer work I do benefits a lot of the same people who have their nose in the air in the first place. :H
Thanks woodsman, I am older than most here and lived through the sixties. We weren't children of "successful" people. We were the kids of parents that sacrificed during the war. They didn't expect more from us...they just wanted us to have a little more than they did. They also didn't want us to sacrifice our values to succeed. Values were important, and most of us had moms at home, that brought that fact home to us. I don't know how many times this little voice in the back of my head would stop me from making a big mistake. It was my mom's. "What if she found out?" Made me who I am today. How many kids today even hear that "voice"?
My guess is not many. Those values don't seem to be very important today. Values were also important when I was growing up , but you don't see much of that today. To me that's strange, because members of my generation are only in their late 20's and early 30's, it does'nt seem like society could change that much in such a relatively short amount of time.
